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Twitter (official)
@twitter
Twitter is an internet product, with a large fan-base of "twits", who disperse information in very small text packets, known as tweets. It may be the saddest thing since bereavement, but there are literally thousands of people keeping their friends up to date with their every bowel movement. The users tell their "friends" everything.
Example: I walked on the beach.
The truth: Your friend doesn't NEED to know this.
Reason: Your friend doesn't care.
On the Innernetshttp://twitter.com
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| 1,100 tweets
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| 100 following
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| 110 followers
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Tweet to Twitter (official)@twitter
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| Tweets
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3 Dec 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
Happy old year
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29 Nov 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
We found a copy of Super Mario and destroyed it.
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28 Nov 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
We are ded
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3 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
Trying to find next version of #blogging. twitpic.com/gfdfg45g
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4 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
Tried making way to send individual people personalized blogs-- turns out it's called #email and nobody uses it anymore
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5 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
Asked #forum for ideas... going to try blogs put on physical media.
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6 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
Physical media already done called #mail like e-mail, but no e. Anyone have ideas?
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7 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
Have to poop.
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8 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
pooped.
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8 Aug 2025Tom Peepers @5741k3r
It's like a dream come true!
 Retweeted by Twitter (Official)
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9 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
Can't think of ideas. @Hernando keeps bugging me about the oven.twitpic.com/ae74gr5do
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10 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
@StMarysPsychWard: @Hernando is so real, stop saying he's not, it makes him angry
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11 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
Idea: worst thing about blogs is they come in big chunks. What if I want smooth #creamy blogging?
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13 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
The #tentacles are starting to bother @Hernando and I.
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14 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
Attempt one at creamy blogging failed. Warning: do not #butter your Ethernet port.
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15 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
The @Oracle is visiting!
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15 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
The @Oracle says I should break the blog into pieces to make it creamy. She also says we are all damned to the halls of a thousand eyes.
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16 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
Never blinking always staring.
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18 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
I need: more #goldfish flavored crackers
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18 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
#Monitor broken trying to break up blog. crackercrackercrackercracker *zot* twitpic.com/ae8f0jo
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19 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
The relations between blogs and #SineWaves are FishCracker-sponential.
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19 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
12 cups whiskey cream. Poured down #tentacles to satisfy @clamaxtyll.
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22 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
Leagues closer to the key of eyes. Involves breaking blogs down BUT making them come faster. Like #bullets.
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22 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
All hail @clamaxtyll! Thou who shan't submit to his feathery wrath shall be ended.
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23 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
I broke the #code. I made blogs small, and you update them like every hour. twitpic.com/ae74576o
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24 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
The advantage with this new communications format is that it's not subject to #viruses, or #trojans.
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25 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
rofl…omg i am laughing so hard at this picture of you my friend posted tinyurl.com/AsP15xY
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25 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
I cant believe this but there are some real nasty things being said about you here tinyurl.com/AsP15x8
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25 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
That's odd. I don't recall doing those last few messages. Maybe @Hernando is playing tricks on me again.
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27 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
I just #twoted all over Twitter! Now i gotta clean the mess up.
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27 Aug 2025Twitter (official) @twitter
Up-to-the minute status reports of my ascent as the chosen one of @clamaxtyll shall follow. twitpic.com/ae74f44do
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11:13See also @morelinks
#twitbook #Facebook #myface #socialernetwork #defacebook #space @dsoprano @valleygurl @DJones @GeorgeP @McElroy @Examtime @Arkboi @Odysseus @OBLaden #X
Retweeted by Twitter (Official)
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© 2012 Twitter
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