User:Witt E,/World War What

World War What
Conflict: World War What
Date: 1900s(?)
Place: The island of Amnesia
Outcome: Lost to history;otherwise subject to varying educated guesses.
Combatants
Japanese Self Righteousness Committee	A group of scruffy brigands in dire need of something to do
Commanders
Saaya Ghen	Kay
Strength
A fort with decent plumbing, and a self-confident leader	A leader, and a stubborn ill-tempered group of nincompoops
Casualties
One of the dogs' chew toys was viciously mauled at night	Kay's pet rock drowned, or suffocated from lack of water,

“I never heard of it, I think”

~ Oscar Wilde

“I was there, I remember some lady yelling something about fireing cannons at me but i didn't know what she said till afterwards”

~ Will on World War What

“World War Where?”

~ Captain Oblivious on World War What

“Did I cover this war?”

~ Frank West on World War What

“M-hmm”

~ Captain Duh on Quote above

World War What was a vague war that happened in the 1900th century (?) that definitely did not happen on a planetary scale.. We can safely assume that all warfare related actions took place on the island of Amnesia between 2 separate camps, the Japanese self-righteousness committee led by Saaya Ghen and the self-described "King O' Dot" know as Kay and his band of feeves. The war is not taught Anywhere, even if you tried to Google it has no results. Only 0.9% of people even know of the war, let alone know what happened.

Cause for the war

Not very well known, the war started as a misinterpretation of a request for paperclips, as described by one of the members of the JSRC. This may be unreliable information, as the same man described his opposing forces as reminiscent of "South Atlantic Sturgeon wearing yellow scuba tanks". There were also tensions between the two camps leading up to the battle, with both leaders reporting various shouting matches between themselves at various locations such as the lagoon shore or inside the ice cave entrance near the middle of the island. This is mostly unconfirmed, since for all we know they could have been shouting at a puddle of water. Later, yo mama came over and resolved the conflict, mostly peacefully.

Kays troops move out

Evidently, Saaya Ghens request for sugar was taken as a demand for war, so Kay mobilized his troops to leave the Dot and enter the mainland. Kay, an unintelligent upright man who was supposedly a brilliant strategist sought for clever advantage points against Saayas Fort at the north of Konfust Bay. 2 days after the message, Kay climbed up the largest rock on the island Exclamation point, the perilous point of the island was well suited to be a look-out station. His troops began to gather various weaponry scattered around the site, it was written down that their were various chainsaws, flamethrowers and bazookas lying around. It's extremely doubtful that there were actually those weapons just lying there, with all likelihood they were armed with tree branches and coconuts. Later, upon encountering Saaya and her committee members Kay realized that his assembly had forgotten their "weapons" at Exclamation Point and had no idea what it was they were going to next for that matter. Stumped, he and his troops gaped stupidly at Saaya wondering what they should do next.

Saaya makes her demands

"O Kay, where are the paperclips?" Saaya Ghen, the sharp, middle-aged woman irritatingly asked. This prompted a very silly argument on whether Saaya had contacted Kay for paperclips, why they needed paperclips and where paperclips could be found on the island anyway. Saaya demanded Kay that he get out of her sights . Kay, angered at her tone of voice and his raging headache, sought to attack Saaya for revenge upon her saying to leave her sights. The battle would happen at dusk or nightfall, but preferably when they could not be seen. Saaya, being levelheaded and possibly realizing the buffoons were planning to attack here, or attempt to attack her again and annoy her while fretting over paperclips, decided to do something. She moved her campsite, approximately one football field or so in another direction. They got about 3 meters, and the camp exhausted themselves during a high-tempered shouting match with a stack of logs.

Something actually happens this time

The enemy camp, either one, charged in the general direction of the oppositions campsite, it was however, night at the moment, or just very cloudy out, since records weren't really helpful with putting "We could not see, I suppose, as I could not see at the time". There might have been a fierce battle between the rival camps, with each of them engulfed in a frenzy of fighting and throwing blows at each other in rousing displays of courage. The leaders could have been dragged near the calm sandy shore of the lagoon, pit in a cold desperate struggle for survival that would later define the history of the island forever . Albeit, both camps plowed right past one another and laid waste to each others campsite, well, maybe not...after all, both campsites are still standing.

The Island

Itself may have been a cause for the war, as it's shrouded in a fog of confusion from time to time. It's also home to a species of Pokemon, the lagoon inhabiting Lapras, confirmed from photographic data, an extraordinary accomplishment from such a collective hive of incompetence. Lapras, which normally live in brine lakes close to Scotland, are known to attack with Confuse Rays if irritated or confused. If a Lapras happens to get confused, it would either hurt itself in its confusion, or start hurting others in its confusion with its ice beams. Because of the numerous unnatural ice caves on the island, it's safe to assume the latter, instead of the more amusing former.

Justice

The resulting trials on who should be blamed and be forced to pay for the whole ordeal was a blithering mess. The judges could not find either group leader, even though they were both present outside of the courthouse, handcuffed, under the tree. The first 2 judges had their robes backwards and inside out, with the 3rd judge under the assumption that he was being sued, and had bought a man he mistook for his lawyer. The loud baboon idiot judge #3 bought was a crash test dummy. Of all things.

Conclusion

Nobody really know (or cares) about what really happened during WWW, and it is now clearly defined as one of the stupidest wastes of times out there in the banals of history. Ugh, I need a drink.