User:Uncle john/Triceratops

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Article written by I.M. Dumm

Triceratops horridus
Great!
Scientific classification
KingdomAnimalia
PhylumChordata
ClassReptilia/Diapsida
OrderOrnithischia
FamilyCeratopsidae
GenusTriceratops
Specieshorridus
Binomial name
T. horridus
Specifications
Primary armamentNasal horn
Secondary armamentBrow horns
Power supply89 times a day
Health330
ManaOff da charts
Strengthvaries with mood
Intelligence23 I.Q.
Weight6 tons
Length32 feet
Special attackChews primitive angiosperms to power flamethrower in mouth
Conservation status
extinct since the Late Cretaceous

“I don't want to know what your ass looks like in...wait, who is this? Oh, yeah. The three-horned chap with a butt-ugly beak.”

It's great. Four days of non-stop-Wait, what article is this? Oh, yeah. That Styracosaurus-I mean, Centro- Penta...ceratops...


Distribution[edit | edit source]

AMERICA! But not Canada, because ornithischians HATED good health care (those damn theropods were healthier up in Manitoba and Alberta, you know.)


Evolution[edit | edit source]

I'm not joking about how awesome that Psittacosaurus is. Yup, it's cool having like, 10 species in that genus. Like, most dinosaur genera are SO monotypic. It's stupid. Anyways, the Ceratopsia are all descended from those Chinese buggers. Even Leptoceratops, the misfit reject of the Marginocephalia.


Related Genera[edit | edit source]

Torosaurus, but not Diceratops- it's one ugly retard. Suck it, Bakker. And of course all the new ones from 2010 that nobody everyone cares so passionately about. Even me, your mom, and, of course, the King.


Behavior[edit | edit source]

No, Mom. I'm not a homosexual...of course he's not buying that car. Why do you think he called Dad yesterday?...Okay, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah. The behavior thing. Umm...I don't have any fucking clue. Go ask your cousin, Joey. He looks pretty knowledgeable about it.

Human Uses[edit | edit source]

Here's one.

Quite a few. I can't think of any good ones right now, though. Call me back at 6:00 tonight and maybe I'll have some examples for you.

Reproduction[edit | edit source]

The best there is. Disgusting, long, and painful. Eggs take 3 years to hatch into wonderful cubs. Did I say cubs? I meant to say larvae. Why do you want to know, huh? Are you a pervert? Are ya?


Am I Qualified to Write This Article?[edit | edit source]

I don't know. Ask your father, little girl. NO, I will NOT buy you any toy dinosaurs.

See Also[edit | edit source]