User:Uncle john/Triceratops

Article written by I.M. Dumm

Triceratops horridus
Great!
Scientific classification
Kingdom	Animalia
Phylum	Chordata
Class	Reptilia/Diapsida
Order	Ornithischia
Family	Ceratopsidae
Genus	Triceratops
Species	horridus
Binomial name
T. horridus
Specifications
Primary armament	Nasal horn
Secondary armament	Brow horns
Power supply	89 times a day
Health	330
Mana	Off da charts
Strength	varies with mood
Intelligence	23 I.Q.
Weight	6 tons
Length	32 feet
Special attack	Chews primitive angiosperms to power flamethrower in mouth
Conservation status
extinct since the Late Cretaceous

“I don't want to know what your ass looks like in...wait, who is this? Oh, yeah. The three-horned chap with a butt-ugly beak.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Triceratops

It's great. Four days of non-stop-Wait, what article is this? Oh, yeah. That Styracosaurus-I mean, Centro- Penta...ceratops...

Distribution

AMERICA! But not Canada, because ornithischians HATED good health care (those damn theropods were healthier up in Manitoba and Alberta, you know.)

Evolution

I'm not joking about how awesome that Psittacosaurus is. Yup, it's cool having like, 10 species in that genus. Like, most dinosaur genera are SO monotypic. It's stupid. Anyways, the Ceratopsia are all descended from those Chinese buggers. Even Leptoceratops, the misfit reject of the Marginocephalia.

Related Genera

Torosaurus, but not Diceratops- it's one ugly retard. Suck it, Bakker. And of course all the new ones from 2010 that nobody everyone cares so passionately about. Even me, your mom, and, of course, the King.

Behavior

No, Mom. I'm not a homosexual...of course he's not buying that car. Why do you think he called Dad yesterday?...Okay, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah. The behavior thing. Umm...I don't have any fucking clue. Go ask your cousin, Joey. He looks pretty knowledgeable about it.

Human Uses

Here's one.

Quite a few. I can't think of any good ones right now, though. Call me back at 6:00 tonight and maybe I'll have some examples for you.

Reproduction

The best there is. Disgusting, long, and painful. Eggs take 3 years to hatch into wonderful cubs. Did I say cubs? I meant to say larvae. Why do you want to know, huh? Are you a pervert? Are ya?

Am I Qualified to Write This Article?

I don't know. Ask your father, little girl. NO, I will NOT buy you any toy dinosaurs.

See Also

• Dinosaur
• Reptile
• Brow horns