User:RaDioAcTivE
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| Species | Some kind of molecular freak. Tends to use human form, you know, body of a man, mind of a...a...something. | ||
| Age | About 88,12 googol years old | ||
| Height | 1,99m (Human form) | ||
| Weight | ~82kg (Human form) | ||
| Known Languages | Everything. From 1337 to Klingon. | ||
| Gender | Male. But just because he says he likes women... | ||
| Nationality | French (discovered in France). Actually he's been around for a while now... | ||
| Birth | 8,8x10^-100 seconds after the Big Bang | ||
| Father | Pierre Curie (discovered RaDioAcTivE back in 1898) | ||
| Mother | Marie Curie (discovered RaDioAcTivE back in 1898) | ||
| Relationship Status | Single | ||
| Sexual Status | Virgin (supposedly) | ||
| Notable Aliases | RaDio[A]cTivE, I_Am_DaVeJ | ||
| Occupation | Hanging around. | ||
| Strength | OVER NINE THOUSAND !!!!!!!1!1!!oneoneone!!!!!!!111!!eleven!!!hundredeleven!!!1 | ||
| Attacks | Radioactive Fart, Atomic Burp, Gama Punch. | ||
“He is a mysterious person.”
“Only God knows how much I regret of knowing who this guy is.”
“Belive me, it's that much.”
“I saw him in the other day, I think he gave me a cancer of some sort.”
“He usually hangs around the old Chernobyl power plant.”
“H3 1z 5uch 4 N3\/\/b.”
“I didn't gave him nothing this year.”
“I pitty the foo'!”
“He's a Motherfuckin bastard!!!”
“-_-”
RaDioAcTivE[edit | edit source]
RaDioAcTivE Herchel De Sousa Clinton Curie Coutinho Kurt Caloust Chernobyl Li Chun or Ra (Born during the Big Bang, discovered in 1898 in France), is the 88th element of the Periodic Table. With an atomic weight of 226, 138 neutrons and 88 protons, melting point at 700ºC, a density of 5.5, a radius of 220, this information doesn't tell us nothing at all...
What RaDioAcTivE really is, in fact, is unknown, but RaDioAcTivE is thought to be a God or a computer virus or worm (ping.exe) or even an alter-ego to a teen boy that has poor imagination or a low self-esteem, but there are no studies that can prove that these facts are, indeed, true.
What is known is that RaDioAcTivE is a dimwitted guy that has an account in Uncyclopedia and thinks he's awesome. Contrary to popular belief, he is not a geek or a nerd, but a simple man with some kind of mental disorder.
This creature has the specific tendency to be sarcastic, ironic, sociopath and lovely when in contact with people.
He only identifies him self with the radioactive symbol...
Coincident is the fact that he likes the music "Radioactivity" preformed by Kraftwerk.
Not much information is available, actually, to describe this fellow.
Early years (Millenniums, to be correct) and childhood[edit | edit source]
Born during the Big Bang, RaDioAcTivE was spitted from that point in the Universe to wonder around space for some time until he landed in the Earth. It was the year 1337 b.C., in Earth, when RaDioAcTivE arrived. He landed in a forest in Tunguska, Russia. Contrary to the fact that a meteorite exploded before hitting the surface, it was RaDioAcTivE that actually hit the surface so hard that created the 100km radius crater. The radioactive levels still measured there are just a sing that RaDioAcTivE was really there. Since then RaDioAcTivE has wondered around the World.
When a baby, RaDioAcTivE never had anyone to take care of him. So in order to survive he ate other elements and lived near Uranium deposits. When he was feeling threatened by anything, he reacted naturally by releasing a Radioactive Fart so powerful that disintegrated everything in a 500m radius.
This went on until radioactive turned 88,1 googol years old. By this time he was discovered by Pierre and Maire Curie, who nurtured him and give him care as he turned into a little boy.
From tender age that RaDioAcTivE was a brat. He used to upset his mother, Marie, by melting dogs on the sidewalk with the vapors he farted.
Teenage years[edit | edit source]
By the time RaDioAcTivE turned a teen, love was not in the air. RaDioAcTivE's personality didn't let him get near girls due to his very hard humor and, honestly, most girls were afraid of him. In fact RaDioAcTivE did not have an easy puberty.
Problems, such as: not getting a girlfriend to being afraid to drive, meant that he did not react too well to these new experiences.
To make things worse RaDioAcTivE's "father", Pierre, suffered a carriage accident when delivering a bunch of scientific junk to a scientific community. RaDioAcTivE felt terrible and accused himself of being responsible for the death. Of course this is stupid since RaDioAcTivE had nothing to do with this, because when Pierre was hit by the carriage, RaDioAcTivE was jerking off the the monthly French p0rn magazine, with that Joanne centerfold.
So RaDioAcTivE's mind was not in the best state in that time (he was acting very assholish really). Things were to change when he was confronted with his first fight with a local bully. RaDioAcTivE fought Jean-Claude Croissant in the back alley between the Moulin Rouge and the Eiffel Tower. RaDioAcTivE won after being brutally beaten and regain his strength in a anime-like/Dragon Ball-Z dramatic scene, and then using his Gama Punch to make Jean-Claude lose 234HP, thus rendering a K.O.. Jean-Claude, defeated, ran off not knowing that because of that fight he would had hand cancer.
A few years later, Marie died from radiation exposiure and this time RaDioAcTivE didn't give a fuck about it, even though, this time, it was entirely his fault, making him one of the greatest douchebags in the World. He was more interested in his new girlfriend, Jaqueline, that had big and tender breasts and a very generous arse. Her body was very good all around.
RaDioAcTivE only felt sad when he had to move from France after so many people died of radiation exposure.
Jaqueline left RaDioAcTivE, back in 1910, to pursue an even more strange fellow named Sigmund Freud, so now RaDioAcTivE is single (Go get him girls!!!). If RaDioAcTivE ever got to the 3rd base with her is not known, but he probably didn't...
Present[edit | edit source]
RaDioAcTivE is now thought to live in Portugal. It is known that he has an account in Uncyclopedia and several other sites that nobody cares and visits.
Not much more is known about RaDioAcTivE's whereabouts nowadays.
Aims[edit | edit source]
To some day become a respected Uncyclopedia editor. And have more quotes that an asshole that quotes a lot.
“You wish...”
Recent Successes[edit | edit source]
Some images in some articles, and some other stuff. Apparently it is the only thing where he's good at.
Current activities[edit | edit source]
For now RaDioAcTivE is busy monitoring and maintaining the article about Portugal a "decent" article so it doesn't get deleted. So far, it's going fine. His work would be eased up a little if an administrator would lock the page so that only registered Uncyclopedians could edit it. He applies the "Be funny and not just stupid" rule very strictly...most of the times.
And he is also jerking off to other various p0rn sites.
Notable Quotes[edit | edit source]
“No reason has to have a reason to exist, otherwise there would be no reason for that reason to exist”
“Let's have a ménage-à-trois, with me and your two holes...”
“I burp, therefore I exist.”
“Life's a bitch...so pimp her...”
“You are very good at speaking english, specially when you aren't talking at all.”
This is just a space filler[edit | edit source]
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And many more to come...
Please continue to read the page...
RaDioAcTivE's example on Global Warming[edit | edit source]
Gather round kids! Uncle RaDioAcTivE is going to tell a story!
Here it goes...It all starts...
*points at the sun*
kid: look mum the sun is really hot today!
mum: yes honey, now shut up, mommy is too hot to pay attention...
kid: i want ice cream
mum: fuck you
kid: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*mom throws kid into the asphalt*
*asphalt acts like frying pan and, well you know what...*
THE END!
Now wasn't that entertaining?! I hope you all had a good time and learned all about Global Warming and it's danger to us humans, so don't go pollutin' kids and have a jolly good day! AND GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HERE!! Brats...
Personal Nemesis[edit | edit source]
Just as many people, RaDioAcTivE also has enemies...I know, I know...it's almost unbelievable...what can we say...some people, dwarfs, grues, sites, and puppets just don't like him at all...and sometimes he doesn't like them...Here is a huge list:
People:
Every one!...nobody likes too much radiation...with all of that thing about being bad to people's health and all...
Sites:
HIFIVE!!
My gosh, have you seen the type of people there?!...
Still myspace.com doesn't stay far behind...
Also he was banned...
See Also[edit | edit source]
- World War II (video game)
- Bat Fuck Insane
- Kraftwerk
- P0rn
- Internet Explorer
- Kitten Huffing
- Portugal
- Grues
- Emo
 | This page is a work in progress |