User:Maniac1075/RoboCop
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| Real Name | "Super Fly" Alex Skeet Murphy |
| D.O.B | 06/06/1966 |
| Origins | Bastard child of Shaft and Herbie The Robot, that robot from the 1970s Fantastic Four cartoon by lithuanian writer Zemaite. |
| Prime Directives | 1. "Serve the public trust" 2. "Protect the innocent" 3. "Uphold the law" 4. "Pound ass and chew bubble gum" |
| Profession | Part Time Cop, Full Time Blue Light Disco Dancer |
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Robocop; Who is he? What is he? Where does he poop from? He's OCD's crime fighting cybernetic organism orgasm. Designed to protect the streets of Old Detroit from The Police Academy making more sequels. Designed to punish the evil and murder minorities (Jews, Jo ho's etc), Robocop rose to eminence in the 1980s after being spotted playing jazz trumpet in a ZZ Top tribute band called "Beardy McBeard and the Beards"
“We invented the evil robot thing, and the Robocop ripped us off, dammit!”
“It was like: DUN DUN DUN DUUUN DUUUUN, DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN.”
“Robocop... you will become my pleasure robot.”
“Robocop... I'd buy that for a dollar!”
Robocop[edit | edit source]
In 1985 some of LAPD's finest enlisted her aid and she was soon grafted with a gun, a gun holster, a view-finder and a warped sense of justice downloaded to her brain. She was soon franchised (some even say pimped) out in a series of three films designed to show her technical prowess, her love of small orphaned black children and his deep hatred for Asian companies that had samurai-sword-wielding robots.
Disgruntled that she had made no money off of these ventures, she soon went postal and shot up the 45th prescient police headquarters, killing 43 police officers and maiming six hobos & stole their doughnuts. The media soon dubbed the event "That Time Robocop Shot Up A Bunch Of Police Officers, Maimed 6 hobos & stole Their Doughnuts". Grievers now mourn on November 11th, sharing an occasion on that particular date with both the Shriners and the Special Olympics.
Robocop did this because she felt that it was time something made the headlines that didn't involve stories about how many ho's Tiger Woods has slept with.
Robocop 2[edit | edit source]
It is now commonly known that Robocop had a son. This son was deranged from birth, suffering from the severe effects that was carried on genetically from the parent. These effects are such that they relate to wanting money and wanting to kill All Charm Quarks in existence.
How Does He Poop?[edit | edit source]
Robocop must consume large quantities of baby food and pussy in order to stay alive. This raises the highly debatable question which is: "Does Robocop, in fact, poop?" Robocop does not have a robotic anus, and therefor, some theorize that his fecal matter is actually turned into depleted uranium and loaded into the bullets of his gun. This may be why he has infinite ammo.
Where Does an Ex-Police Cybernetic Organism Go After Going Postal & Being Fired[edit | edit source]
In 1993 Robocop joined the WCW (World Championshit Wrestling). He entered the competition coming to the aid of Sting who was being locked in a Go-Go dancers cage by an evil terrorist group called The Four Whoresmen. Robocop would not stand for the Whoremen forcing Sting to dance for them while they threw 1 dollar bills at him. Robocop made his impact as a baby-face, but was soon fired when he refused to job to Hulk Hogan and the nWo as a blow-job to Robocop as a bribe is insignificant to a being with no penis.
Robocop The Musical Machine[edit | edit source]
After losing his position as a really, really, REALLY fucking heavy-weight contender, he made the decision to go into music and make a name for himself as a rock star.
Robocop formed a heavy-metal band named "Robo & The Rockers" and soon released his first album, "Steel Magnolias" in 1995. The album was said to be like listening to a lawnmower whine while you shove your dick into the rotating blades. However it did not stop Robo from promoting the album on a world tour as a support act for the "Hulk Hogan Wrestling Boot Band".
Soon Robo would hang up the guitar when the Nirvana phase was over and kids wanted to hear musicians who could actually play again.
Short-Lived Porno Career[edit | edit source]
Robo would venture into the 21st century with a return to the small screen. Robo was a little embarrassed about being seen as a porno-star, so he used the stage name, Robocock.
In his first role as an undercover milkman making rounds to cheating horny house wives, he soon got the nickname from his male co-stars as, "Dickless". But Dickless won the respect and attention of his female co-workers for being able to go for hours on end without climaxing. This was achieved because Robo doesn't have a dick. Instead he had a metallic dildo that could vibrate at speeds of up to 100 jiggle watts per second that he called "Head 209".
Robo was dubbed "The Sex Machine" by all the females he worked with. He enjoyed his small time success for the duration it lasted for, but it all came to a messy end when Robo was making his next fuck-motion picture, and squashed his co-star in a mounting scene because Robo weighed as much as a truck with a semi-trailer attached hauling 20 forklifts all being driven by guys the size of the "fat guy" from Lost.
Rob was forced out of the porno business for this, but a successful sequel was made when they found the perfect candidate for Robocock II, and has since continued to be a success as a mini-series on the Disney Channel called.
Hard Times[edit | edit source]
Robocop hit hard times and turned to the bottle. Robo's house and possessions where repossessed after he failed to pay his 35 cents in taxes for 1996. Robocop was forced to live in the streets of L.A where he would give any one, willing to let him, a blow job. Robo was forced to do this in order to survive, as he had no money left and it was the only way he could have something warm in his stomach.
Whatever Happened To Robocop?[edit | edit source]
No one can say for sure. Some believe he is still blowing for a hot meal on the streets, others say he found a job as a sex slave android at the Lucas Ranch. Some various internet sources suggest Robocop is planning to take over the world as the brains of Skynet, where he will build a million other cybernetic robots and send them back in time to prevent Police Academy movies from being made at all.
