Gundam
The following is a series of tapes from the Principality of Zeon, archived. These tapes were found by professional Lost media searcher and former speedrunner, xX_EvanescenceFan13_Xx. It is most commonly believed that this user found these tapes sitting around in the Second page of Google, hidden in a website named “zeonneedsabetterfactionflag.co”. The tapes are only accessible if you type “L IS REAL” 5 times, which is when Tape 1 starts playing.
TAPE 1[edit | edit source]
Hey there soldier, and welcome to the Principality of Zeon's brand new Zaku piloting training video series! My name is [REDACTED], recording live from the cockpit! Now, you may be asking yourself, "wow that sure is a lot of buttons!", and in this video I will NOT be telling you how to use them. Read the damn manual under the seat. This video will mostly be for "how to not blow yourself up". You may also be saying "but, Sergeant [REDACTED], aren't the zakus indestructible like zabi said?" and you would be correct to think that. However, there are a few things capable of destroying out beautiful machines, mostly from handling issues, such as reactor meltdown, as these machines are powered by an on board nuclear reactor. Now, for starters, see that big red button on the ceiling above your head? Don't press it. That makes you explode. Now, after you have hopefully read your instruction manual by now, go ahead and start walking forward around the training area. Make sure to not trip on anything! These things are expensive. The unit you are currently in is called the Zaku I, which was our first model. After this, if you don't explode, you may get the chance to pilot one of our premier Zaku II's, which are quite a bit faster with higher performance. After you've got walking down, feel free to take a few pot shots with your machine gun at those 17 meter cardboard cutouts over there. This concludes the ground training section of this series of videos.
END OF TAPE 1
TAPE 2[edit | edit source]
Ah, space, the Final Frontier, or, to us, home. You have now taken your zaku out of the station out into the empty void of space, into our space training section. Now, as I'm sure you're accustomed to, you are now in zero gravity. hopefully you've read the space section of the training manual by now, because if you didn't you're kind of screwed. assuming you did, try doing a few small loops around the station using the RCS thrusters that can be found all over the suit. try doing a few rolls perhaps. Now that you've got that down, that's literally it. yes, that's all there is to space movement. This concludes the space section of this series.
END OF TAPE 2
TAPE 3[edit | edit source]
(WARNING: this tape was recovered from Sergeant [REDACTED]'s ruined mobile suit, found nearly obliterated not far from where you are now. the contents of this tape are not to be spoken about outside of training, and is not to be used for anything besides training purposes. Contents may be disturbing. Zieg Zeon.)
Now, for the third and final tape, we will be talking about, you guessed it, safety! Be sure to be on the lookout for enemy mobile suits, if they do indeed exist like the rumors say. As for what they allegedly look like, reports say it's a "white, skinny thing, with a shield". If you see it, don't panic, as folks have indeed survived encounters with it (if said encounters did indeed occur), but our best guess is that was simply a glitch with the reactor, causing some mobile suits to explode randomly. Do not fear, however, as this has been fixed! Now- what was that? [AUDIO DESCRIPTION: a white blur is spotted in the corner of [REDACTED]'s monitor] I swear I just saw something. is it gone? maybe it's a new prototype? perhap- (tape abruptly cuts)
what follows is the transcript from [REDACTED]'s damage log.
- 12:03:39: FUNCTIONAL
- 12:05:45: DAMAGE TO RIGHT LEG UNIT
- 12:05:47: DAMAGE TO LEFT ARM UNIT
- 12:05:50: DAMAGE TO HEAD UNIT: RETREAT
- 12:06:00: CONTACT LOST
- 12:06:02: CONTACT LOST
[REDACTED]'s MS was found nearly destroyed, with not much besides the black box intact. This tape is for training purposes only and is not to be shared. Zieg Zeon.
