User:Jordanus

Commander of the Order

Hello, fellow Uncyclopedians! I don't have a lot of time to do a fancy user page with pictures and stuff, so I'll be brief.

JORDANUS'S STATS:

• Humor level: average
• English standards: high
• Writing style: mock serious/satirical, wordy
• Uncyclo. usage: casual
• Inspirations: The Onion, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

I'm from Alabama (no, I'm not a redneck). I left Wikipedia and came here after I became disillusioned by the fact that there is almost nothing important left to add. We are still casual friends, though.

I do my share of work here in Uncyclopedia. Mostly I just play around with rewrites and stubs, but occasionally I'll have the time and the inspiration to compose a complete article. A partial resume:

Awards

Featured Article: Africa

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

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Featured Image: Africamapclear.PNG

This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia.

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Featured Article: Hammer

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

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My Contributions

This user is American …and unabashedly proud of it! (List of American Uncyclopedians) This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint. This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla. The Black Knight has never been punished by UnBestiary. Learn from their actions and act like them. … This user would be a professional procrastinator, but they can't be bothered. …

Full Articles & Major Rewrites

• Teddy Roosevelt
• Pollytheism
• Every Child Left Behind Act
• Bullshit
• Forum
• Airbag
• Tomorrowland
• Allah and Allah: The Annotated Version
• Ghost in the Shell
• Cat Juggling
• Hammer
• Africa
• Fatties
• The Gay Credenza

Smaller Rewrites

• Godel's Incompleteness Theorem
• Sliders
• Teddy Bear
• Coruscant
• Borophyll
• Bonzai Buddy

UnNews Stories

• Tenth Planet Identified as 10th Least Cared-About Topic in Nation
• Irish Republican Army to Ascend Into Heaven
• Rove: "Please Stop Criticizing the Government"
• Spectre Backs U.S. Chief Justice Nominee Roberts
• Plague-infected Mice Escape from Newark Lab

Cleanups

• The Great Conflict
• RC Cola

Original Images

Wow, this section is old. I made most all of these in the bad old days of MS Paint, before becoming proficient with Photoshop and Paint.NET. I'll leave it up, though, for posterity.

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  Polly Pocket, charismatic leader of Pollytheism

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  The illegible napkin that started it all...
  From Every Child Left Behind Act

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  Another unwary tourist is misled by a wait time sign, becoming the Space Mountain Line's newest victim
  From Tomorrowland

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  The infamous Space Mountain Line.
  From Tomorrowland

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  Fear the colorful plastic egg!
  From Ghost-in-the-shell

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  A sheller enjoys a laugh of trumph after terrifying a small child.
  From Ghost-in-the-shell

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  No prankster can resist the allure of the ghost-in-the-shell. [Note: this is not a picture of me.]

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  The ghastly ghoul explains its political views.
  From Spectre Backs U.S. Chief Justice Nominee Roberts

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  The leaders of W.E.I.R.D. assemble.

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  A cat juggler in action

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  Catch the Feral Cat: If there's one game you don't want to lose, it's this one
  From Cat Juggling

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  A professional cat juggler demonstrates the proper way to receive a cat
  From Cat Juggling

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  Anatomy of the common hammer

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  Yes, Token Black Guy, there's a whole world of hammer bliss just waiting to be explored.

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  Africa sad.

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  An American's conception of Africa (Featured)