User:ArrowFlint22/HowTo:Be a Nazi
Do you love walking like a goose? Do you find it a great hobby to commit mass genocide or invade Poland? Do you love playing dress-up 1984 edition? Well there are tons of like-minded people out there that share your interests! They are in a group called the Nazi Party! This guide will teach you how to be a NAZI!! Don't be stupid, be a smartie! Come and join the Nazi Party!
Look like a Nazi[edit | edit source]
You can't just say your a Nazi! You got to look like one too! One must wear the proper attire. Try wearing early to mid 20th Century military wear like trench coats, funny looking police hats, weird ammo pouch belts, and helmets that make your head look like a cooking pot. Be sure to wear anything with the swastika inscribed on it like arm bands! Gay looking tall, black boots also go great!
Talk like a Nazi[edit | edit source]
Now you need a German accent! Talk really high pitch and pronounce words with a W with a V instead of a W and words that start with a T with a Z instead! Say und instead of and and make sure your voice sounds scratchy as fuck!
EXAMPLE: "Hello zere, untermensch! I vill send jou to der gas chamber und jou vill svim vith ze feeshiez!"
Then say things like:
"Heil Hitler!"
"I did nat zee that coming!"
"Would you mind walking into my oven to clean it?"
Have you mastered it? I will assume you did after making a complete fucking fool out of yourself trying to "impress" German tourists and that one German exchange student in your high school. Now on to the next part...
Walk like a Nazi[edit | edit source]
Now you need to know how to walk like a Nazi! That's right! Nazis have they're own walk like ancient Egyptians! They love to walk like geese! This is how to do it:
- Lift your legs REALLY HIGH! One foot in front of the other.
- Lift your arm diagonally and put your hand out flat.
- March to a cute little song called "Erika"
Act like a Nazi[edit | edit source]
Now you have to actually do Nazi things! That's why you signed up right? Right?? Okay. You know what to do! Gas jewish people (Gassing Jews is a popular Nazi pass-time), do awesome marches and parades, invade Poland, claim your the master race, etc.
Nazi Salute[edit | edit source]
One of the most important things that every Nazi must know how to do is salute Hitler! The Nazi Salute or "Heil Hitler" salute is the iconic Nazi greeting. It can either be used to Salute der Fuhrer, as an alternative to waving and saying hello, and pointing people in the right direction. Yes there is more than one use for this gesture. You can point people in the proper direction if they wish to know where to go if they are lost as a nice gesture!
NOW YOUR A NAZI! YAY![edit | edit source]
Here is a fun little song by Robbie Rotten to congratulate you!
Do what you want 'cause bein' a Nazi is fun!
You are a Nazi!
HEIL HEIL, Hitler is great!
Being a Nazi is alright to be!
Do what you want 'cause bein' a Nazi is great!
You are a Nazi!
You are a Nazi! Yay!
We've got us a map (a map!)
To lead us to another country!
That's all defended with emplacements (with emplacements!)
And protected far away
We'll invade the country! (the country!)
We know it's full of stinky Jews!
Burst open the attic doors!
And then we'll say, "Go in the oven!"
HEIL HEIL, Hitler is awesome!
If you love to kill jews...
You are a Nazi!!
SEIG HEIL!!!
HEIL HEIL, HITLER IS GOD!
Being a Nazi is alright with me!
Do what you want 'cause bein' a Nazi is cool!
You are a Nazi!
HEIL HITLER!
Rise the red flag with the funny cross on it over this conquered land!
You are a Nazi!
Hahahahaha! death to gypsies and homos!
We're attacking FRANCE (ATTACK FRANCE!)
Victory awaits on EVERY FRONT!
We attack and kill (SEIG HEIL!)
every single untermensch (yay!)
We'll attack Russia! (RUSSIA!)
Until we fail miserably!
Then we'll be forced to be on the offensive! (aw shit!)
Until we fall to Russia!
HEIL HEIL! Hitler is cool!
If you love to invade the sudentenland...
You are a Nazi!!
SEIG HEIL!