User:מה שתגיד/Nail Clippers

Typical nail clippers

Nail Clippers (in Latin: digitus Conscidisti) is a chinese torture device apparently invented in the 14th century in Mongolia by Genghis Khan's son, Genghis James Junior. The nail clipper works so that one person puts his nails bitween two large metal vessels while the other person, which will be most of the time the executioner (reverse cases are extremely rare), will cruelly crush his fingers by attach the two metal rods. Then, most of the time the tortured will be thrown into a bathtub of boiling oil, for refreshment.

History of the Nail Clippers

Invention

the Nail Clippers has been created in Mongolia, somewhen bitween the 14th century to the Star Wars time line. As we know today thank's to deep researches made by complaining Wikipedians, the Nail Clippers has invented by Genghis Khan's son, Genghis James Junior. When young Genghis was just a little boy his father used to take him to his workplace once a week, according to Mr. and Mrs. Khan's divorce agreement.

One day, Genghis Khan the Elder took his son to the workplace, which was the torture cellar that day. As the ruler of the empire, Genghis Khan wanted to advance towards Western countries, and transmitted many pro-Western messages. Because at that time the West was deeply immersed in the Middle Age, "advancing to the West" meant literelly torturing people in the name of religion.

At the torture cellar, Genghis Jr. saw how people are just thrown into a bath full of boiling oil, without any prior preparation. So, he came up with one of the smartest ideas ever - why not tortur the people more before throwing them into the boiling oil bath? Genghis Jr. ran to his father and told him about the idea. the elder got exited about having another way to tortur people then just throwing them into boiling oil, and called immediately to the Pope and told him about the new discovery. The pope was fascinated by the idea of ​​the young Genghis, and immediately suggested to Genghis Khan the father to invent another torture device, which he would sell to him in exchange for donkey dung (coins of the time).

The initial version of the Nail Clipper

The most common version of Nail Clippers in Japan

Therefore, Genghis the elder took his young son and together the two went out to a dinner at the nearby McDonald's branch, where they discussed the possibilities of inventing additional torture devices.

After some torture ideas that did not generate much enthusiasm (but were adopted years later by the UK government, such as raising taxes, abolishing the regulated price and more), little Genghis suggested the best idea: to crush things. It is well known that when something is crushed, especially if it's connected to the body, it creates a lot of pain.

So the father and son decided that it would be worthwhile to crush something that exists significantly in the body - something that has a lot of it. It took no more than seven minutes of awkward silence until the two unanimously decided on the organ to be crushed: fingers. why? Because there are ten of them - nine more than the hearts or brains that humans have. Predictably, Gings Khan immediately opened with a short TED Lecture in which he explained to all of the most important leaders in the world how effective his method of torture would be, a system who could hurt the same person ten different times - as opposed to eye-popping, which could only take place twice per person.

Patent registration, distribution and initial development

In less then one year a government company of the Communist Republic of China has been established (like any other company in China) whose new CEO is none other than Genghis Khan Jr., the son of Genghis Khan the father, who totally coincidentally is the King of China At the time (Crony capitalism?).