Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnTunes:Stalker
UnTunes:Stalker[edit source]
I put this on UnTunes about two weeks ago. I was waiting for my other article to be reviewed before I put anything else up for review. But I'm impatient so suck it. Also please review and let me know what works and what didn't. --—John Lydon 22:20, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
I'll take this one. I know how to listen. -- Pastafarian Ape (zap) (Riot Porn) 04:23, June 4, 2010 (UTC)
Review booking cleared, anyone can do this now. --ChiefjusticeXBox 14:57, June 15, 2010 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | Typical, the song (particularly, the lyrics) itself work pretty well and doesn’t need much change except for punctuation as I said above. However, its other parts of the article that I would like to point out. First would be the intro. It’s really short and only has one sentence. That is usually a major turn off as the reader might think this article might be something a noob would write and may find something else to read. I don’t know who reads intros without reading the entire thing, but let’s not take any chances. Instead, you should come up with an intro that can tell some details of the song, who wrote the song, what’s the story behind the song, what’s the song based off, etc.
And second, would be the part where it says Instrumental Break; you used words with strikethrough. Thing is, is’ that it rarely provides any humor, and here it’s not the case. You should get rid of the strike through words and stick with Instrumental Break |
| Concept: | 7 | This is my first review on an UnTunes, and I’ll be as in-depth as possible, but looking at the article and going through it, I think this will be a piece of cake.
The concept of the article is really interesting, and pretty much I like it. A song about the life of a stalker stalking a woman is a great concept for humor is what this site needs. Despite this, however, there are a few flaws with the article. Not many, but it’ll be better to know them and fix them up. One thing I will point would be the title; it just seems dull. Nothing wrong with the title as it goes along with the article; I think it should be spice up just to make it cooler and more interesting for the reader to click on the link to see for himself. Examples include, but not limited to,”My Life As A Stalker”, “I’m A Stalker”, and “Stalker (I’ve Been watching You)”. But whether you want to do that or not is up to you. |
| Prose and formatting: | 8 | No spelling errors, but it does lack punctuation. Although not totally required but it should have some just to give it more flavor and avoid criticism people who think spelling is more important that saving the environment. For example, when a sentence of the song ends, put a period at the end of that sentence. Also commas should be included when the sentence keeps going. When something excitable appears, put an exclamation point at the end, and put a question mark at the end of things like “Why does stalking have to be a crime.” I hope I’m making it clear, and if you don’t really understand, just ask on my talk page, but I think you’ll get what I mean |
| Images: | 8 | You got one image, but that’s what you would expect in something like a Untunes article would have. And I think the image fits well, but you should add a caption to it to make it more humorous. Also you should put a picture of a stalker or a guy who almost looks like a stalker. That’s up to you, but it’s a great idea |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | My overall grade of this article |
| Final Score: | 36 | Not too bad, you have few things that need work on, but otherwise a pretty good song article. I hope to see this on VFH pretty soon, so I can vote for it ;). If you have any questions/comments, just go to my talk page and I’ll be happy to answer them. Good Luck! Cheers! |
| Reviewer: | -- Director WILL YOU 333 22:00, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
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