Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Europe to play "The Final Countdown" indefinitely (RESUBMIT TO DA MAX!)
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UnNews:Europe to play "The Final Countdown" indefinitely[edit source]
This is my one article that failed VFH. I plan to fix it up. I need a shiny review so I know where to start! - UnIdiot | 
| Talk | Contribs - 02:20, Dec 20
| Humour: | 6 | Some funny jokes here and there, I would cut down on the whining. We all know that eighties hair metal sucked. No need to repeat it, and in so blatant a manner. |
| Concept: | 8 | Very clever. The title has zing. It certainly drew me in. A clever fate for a terrible band. Can't offer you any advice here. |
| Prose and formatting: | 4 | For the love of God, break up that opening paragraph! It's a behemoth! And for something that's pretty much devoid of humor, it's quite dry. Major turnoff for what is otherwise a pretty funny article. The tone is off, you need to make this sound more professional. Phrases like "You see," and "It's really quite simple!" simply don't belong in UnNews articles outside of quotes. NEVER address the reader directly (using the word "you"), that's just common writing sense. This thing needs some serious formatting. Break out that grammarsteeq! |
| Images: | 7 | You got the necessities, and so a 7 is like a C: average. You can get away with it, or you can go ahead and get some better images in here. Even just a more recent photo of these gross motherfuckers would hit it home. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.3 | Avg'd via {{Pee}}. |
| Final Score: | 31.3 | The prose is really where you need work. Make it sound professional, god dammit! I might come by later once my grammarsteeq is back from the shop and give this article a thorough beatdown. Otherwise, this is a great idea that had less-than-ideal execution. Rewrite, plox? Maybe just an extreme overhaul. |
| Reviewer: | ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF (@ 02:45 21 Dec, 2007) | |
