Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/That time I was nearly raped by the power rangers during my sojourn to the 90's
That time I was nearly raped by the power rangers during my sojourn to the 90's[edit source]
I'll get this to you in 24 hours. Unless sooner. Leutnant Herr Thatdamnedfollowspot 03:28 Tuesday, September 14, 2010
| Humour: | 5 | This article isn't chock-full of humor, it follows the style of the other Sojourn articles, and I think you could be a bit more flexible in that regard. I'll go into that more in depth later.
The bit about Elton John and The Jonas Brothers doesn't really fit with the Power Rangers theme, and it doesn't make much sense for that reason. What do Elton John and The Jonas Brothers have to do with the Power Rangers? Perhaps you could replace the two with characters from the Power Rangers universe? Also, I feel as though you just copied another Sojourn article and replaced the words a few times. Repetition, although funny at times, gets dull and annoying to the reader if they read more than, say, three or four. "Oh, look at this one. It's about the Power Rangers. I know how this will go. Something about the narrator being almost raped, and a yak might get thrown in there for good measure" may be what the reader thinks. You don't want that! You want yours to stand out among the other Sojourn articles! So get in there and be creative! |
| Concept: | 6 | Originality? Who needs originality? This has been done many, many times before, and in different ways. Needless to say, the concept has been done, but if creative enough, it can appear amusing and encouraging to the reader. |
| Prose and formatting: | 4 | Your grammar, punctuation, capitalization, and form are off a bit. The correct grammar should be "these fucking rangers burst," not "these fucking rangers bursts." L.A. should have correct punctuation, and the beginning of each section (including headings) should be capitalized. The link to Power Rangers isn't capitalized and you misspelled horny. It's little things like these that can catch the reader's attention and detract from the article.
The layout of the article is too short for a standard article, and this remains with Sojourn articles. Perhaps the sections should be subsections under one section? For example, "So there I was," "and these fucking rangers," and "so I pulled out my" could all just be subsections of the article; it would make the overall look of the article better. |
| Images: | 4 | There is only one picture, and rightly so. An article of this length doesn't need more than one image, in fact, it might not need one at all. Almost everyone knows who the Power Rangers are, so perhaps an image profiling them wouldn't be necessary. The caption is funny, and makes up for the relatively normal picture. |
| Miscellaneous: | 4.8 | Averaged your score, and I remembered the significant digits. |
| Final Score: | 23.8 | Hopefully, with this review, you'll be able to make a good start of an article better. Use what you have now as a springboard into better rewrites. |
| Reviewer: | Leutnant Herr Thatdamnedfollowspot 03:18 Wednesday, September 15, 2010 | |