UnNews:Trump and Harris tied at exactly 50% in poll of 1,076 pledged Electoral College nominees

02:20, 27 October 2024 (UTC)

UNNEWS NEWSDESK: In a stunning development demonstrating exactly how close the 2024 US Presidential election has gotten with little more than a week to go, both President‑appointee Kamala Harris (D-CA), for whom we threw away all journalistic integrity to endorse (hey, we're fake news anyways), and former ex‑president Donald Trump (TMAGA-FL) are running absolutely dead neck‑and‑neck even, at 538 to 538, amongst all potential major‑party Electoral College electors who have willingly pledged their Lives, their Fortunes, and their sacred Honor to either Harris or Trump.

UnNews, in close collaboration with nobody else, conducted this opinion poll using the most scientific method at their disposal: namely, reading about it on the Internet. The poll's error of margin is 0%, with a theoretical margin of error of at most one in a million.

Democrats have been pinning their hopes and dreams of successfully swaying a substantial portion of rabid Trump electors, both real and fake, to repent of their sins and join their side of joy and love. However, the prospects for that do not look very good at the moment. Meanwhile, Elon Musk has generously offered $1 billion dollars each to any of Harris's pledged electoral nominees for saying something nice about Trump for a change. None so far have taken Musk up on his generous offer, needless to say; and even if any of them did, Kamala has vowed to replace each and every traitorous defector with yet another hand-picked hardcore liberal socialist sycophant before the sacred College meets in person.

Under our completely undemocratic and unfair Electoral College system, as few as 270 electoral votes (from a paltry 25.1% of those original 1,076 persons we interviewed looked up on the Internet) could ultimately decide the fate of this year's 2024 presidential election. This sort of massive disenfranchisement is one of the primary reasons that Republicans in general believe that the current unfair system should be scrapped in favor of allowing every single one of their 538 Republican electors to vote, regardless of how much money they have donated.

UnNews reporters failed to locate any third-party Electoral College nominees for this exclusive poll, perhaps because they don't exist and, more likely, never even existed in the first place. The third-party presidential candidates themselves (whoever they are) also seem to be nowhere in sight.