UnNews:Fatah, Hamas agree to withdraw grues from conflict

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

19 December 2006

Young man about to learn the futility of shooting at a grue.

GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip - A top Palestinian security official said Tuesday that Hamas and Fatah officials have agreed to pull their grue forces off the streets of Gaza after more than a week of rampant street violence there.

The two sides also agreed to form a joint operations room with the Fatah-led security forces to respond quickly to any outbreaks of violence and to round up stray grues, the official said, speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the media.

Earlier Tuesday, a fierce battle between rival Fatah and Hamas forces and hordes of grues erupted outside Gaza's main hospital, sparking a day of factional violence that resulted in dozens of unarmed civilians being eaten alive.

Approximately 38 people were killed and at least 18 were wounded in the violence, which swept away the remains of a tattered truce meant to end a week of fighting.

Grue howls, gunfire, and tortured screams of people being eaten echoed throughout the nearly empty streets of Gaza City, and a Fatah security installation was attacked by a grue pod. Terrified residents shut themselves indoors.

"Grues don't care which side you're on, or if you're a civilian or soldier," said Suleiman Tuman, a 53-year-old shopkeeper who was trapped in his Gaza City grocery store by the fighting. "They are a terrible, uncontrollable weapon. Worse maybe than gas."

Sources

• Abdul Alhazered "Was that a machine gun, or did you Fatah?" Smegheads Daily, December 19, 2006