UnNews:Clinton doesn't want Coulter's endorsement

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

4 February 2008

NEW YORK CITY, New York - Anne Coulter revealed today that she supports Hillary Clinton for president in 2008.

Hillary was quoted as saying, "AAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

She insists that John McCain is the "devil incarnate" because, "He isn't a bigoted asshole like every good Republican should be. He just isn't a conservative." She added later that "I would vote for the Devil over John McCain."

What did McCain do to earn Anne's ire you might ask? We wanted to know. Past tense. When we asked, Anne flew into a rage saying, "Can you believe he rejected my policy to shoot illegal immigrants on sight? The simple fact of the matter is that my policy is the simplest and most effective. We could just dump their bodies into the Rio Grande afterwards. No fuss, no muss. He doesn't even want to deport them and maybe break their kneecaps or something. He's such a softie on immigration."

We then asked her if she wished to endorse a candidate, and she confirmed controversial rumors that she would be campaigning this year for Satan Himself, which is her nickname for Hillary Clinton.

"Hillary Clinton has a conservative stance on many issues. Many issues. Many bills she has... and things she has supported, you know... and ummm. Err. Yeah..."

Needless to say, we're totally convinced. This journalist thought that maybe Coulter would say the most controversial thing that she could possibly say just to get attention but she has proved to us that she has changed. Yes sir.

When we contacted the Clinton campaign about this issue all we received as a reply was hysterical, incredulous laughter.

Sources

• Christopher Beam "Coulter for Hillary?" Slate, February 1, 2008