UnDebate:Is "Monkey Wrench" better than "Everlong"?

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Ajay VS Ozzy.jpg

Background information[edit]

"Everlong" is considered, for many years, the best love song in history and the best Foo Fighters song in general. "Monkey Wrench" is another successful FF Hit, taken from the same album, which is often considered another possible candidate for the best FF song eva. But no formal decision has been made, until right now. Two wonderful lifelong FFF's (Foo Fighters fans), Ozzy Osbourne and Ajay Bhatt (the Indian tool who invented USB), will try to decide in this matter. And not a word about "Walking After You", which is only good in the MTV/YouTube/X-Files version. The album version sucks ass.

So, how are you guys doing?[edit]

Ozzy[edit]

Heya! What the hell is this? Why am I debating the guy who invented blimey USB? This guy should be sent to the afterlife, and face Kirk Douglas in a bloody gladiator fight. Everytime I try to plug in the blimey USB, I have to debate for at least 10 blimey minutes with the blimey plug and the blimey socket. Socket, Ajay! I mean, the only thing worse than trying to plug in a blimey USB, is trying to remember how to spell blimey "blimey".

Ajay[edit]

Dude. You invented COVID-19. You are much worse than me. Try to not eat bats next time.

So, which is the best song in your opinion?[edit]

Ozzy[edit]

BLEIMY! Of course it's "Everlong"! Best love song eva! Wait, I misspelled "blimey". Everything I say in this section is not true. Let me try to rephrase that. Wait, did that bleimy Indian say that I invented the bleimy corona virus? BLEIMY! BLEIMY! BLEIMY! BLEIMY! BLEIMY! BLEIMY! BLEIMY! BLEIMY! BLEIMY! BLEIMY! BLEIMY! BLEIMY! Wait, let me relax for a second here. Bleimy! I hate debating stupid people. Everybody knows who invented blimey corona. It was the Mexican government. Or the Jew government. But it sure as hell wasn't me.

BLEIMY! BLEIMY! BLEIMY! BLEIMY! I did it again! What the fuck is wrong with Asian people??? First you invent bleimy USB, then you invent bleimy coronavirus, then you accuse ME of inventin' the bleimy thing? Fuck off!

Ajay[edit]

YOU fuck right off, Sir. And you misspelled bleimy again.

Wait, I misspelled it too...

Man, this USB sucks ass. It's almost as bad as the album version of "Walking After You".

USB should be changed.

It should be called like, USU or BSB. And it should always fit the socket, from ANY direction.

Blimey... We are trying to decide which is the best song, remember guys?[edit]

Ozzy[edit]

Right. So tell the Asian dude to stop blimey calling me the bleimy inventor of the blimey... FUCK!!! I can't take this anymore! Everlong is better, but the bleimy Asians invented the bleimy USB and I cannot make any bleimy argument because the bleimy sentence will be incorrect! This is hopeless!

Ajay[edit]

Are you talking about Coronavirus again? I could read between your lines. You are saying China invented COVID-19, and so it should be nuked by America. Do you really want a second Hiroshima? A third Nagasaki? A fourth Godfather?

What the fuck are you even talking about? WHICH IS THE BETTER SONG?[edit]

Ozzy[edit]

I already told you I'm not telling you anything until the bleimy blimey problem is fixed.

Ajay[edit]

I totally agree about "Walking After You". It sucks and should be surgically removed from the album. And also the U in the word "colour" in the title The Colour and the Shape.

Now on to the actual songs we are talking about...[edit]

Ozzy[edit]

Bleimy Everlong. Ever bleimy long. That is my bleimy answer. Go fuck yourself.

Ajay[edit]

Pass.

So... Which is the gayest song in your opinion?[edit]

Ozzy[edit]

The one which is not bleimy called bleimy "Everlong".

Ajay[edit]

Pass.

Let's put it that way, for how long do you think Coronavirus will last?[edit]

Ozzy[edit]

Ever bleimy long.

Ajay[edit]

Until America bombs China, apparently.

So... The other song is the better one?[edit]

Ozzy[edit]

He will never blimey answer you. He did not come here to debate in any civil way. He just wants you to think that I was the one who invented the disease. He's afraid that Trump's nuke will hit his bleimy house by mistake.

Ajay[edit]

That is not true. Ozzy did COVID-19. Everyone knows that. Are you kidding me? Who else would eat a belimy bat? I mean, a blimeyeiey bat.... Bleymey.

Alright, then. So final question: Biological warfare. China. What's the deal with that?[edit]

Ozzy[edit]

China just wants to be the new USSR. And so does Russia. And Donald Trump. Everyone are just hippies who listen to "Back in the U.S.S.R." and the album version of "Walking After You". They should listen to MY bleimy band... Oh, fuck it. I'm starting to lose it. Someone get me a bliemy bat.

Ajay[edit]

OMG, he's about to have an outbreak. "Breakout" is a great song, BTW. Did you forget all about it?

Let's just move on with the closing arguments before I lose what's left of my sanity.[edit]

Ozzy[edit]

There is nothing left to say. I'm not typing that word again and I am not able to make up any sentence without it. So fuck off.

Ajay[edit]

I'm trying to, but they keep asking me the same question.

Ozzy[edit]

What was the bleimy question?

Ajay[edit]

Which song did you like most.

Ozzy[edit]

What were the bleimy options?

Ajay[edit]

I think it was "Macarena" against "Walking After You", the album version.

Ozzy[edit]

What the Bleimey are you talking about?

Ajay[edit]

Just answering your blimey question...but fuck it. I deserve a drink.

Verdict[edit]

The winner of the 2020 Foo Fighters Best Song Debate is...Monkey Wrench!

Tool logo first.jpg YES! Could I crack Ajay's head open now?

No, you cannot.

Tool logo first.jpg Bleimy!