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Crash merge.jpg The contents of Texus were merged into Texas and they now redirect here. For the contribution history and old versions of the merged article please see its history.


It's snowing right now in texas!--Ytidiputs 02:13, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

lol so funny[edit]

lol texass such a funny joke, your the funniest ==

Um, lame[edit]

Facts are forbidden in Uncyclopedia... too many facts that's it's dull. I almost thought this wikipedia. I escaped Texas for a reason, ask any hispanic man why. --Mad Maddox Madigan 20:41, 1 January 2008 (UTC)

I tend to base my articles on facts. Like this one. And this one. --thematrixeætsyou, the psycho (talk) (flames) 22:13, 1 January 2008 (UTC)

Oh my God, those are all informative... Learning must stop... head exploding..--Mad Hatter Madigan 01:45, 2 January 2008 (UTC)

I also found this article somewhat lame with too many facts. I did, however, like the picture of Sam Houston with the caption about him awakening to rule over Texas in its darkest hour. Perhaps the article could be rewritten into a big sleeping hero/king in the mountain parody in which Houston is a giant who beats up Paul Bunyan and discovers the Spindletop oil field while digging the hole for an outhouse. 16:22, 17 August 2008 (UTC)


"Actually, that's a big lie. Most Texans are redneck white trash that are full of themselves, and type stuff like the above cos they have to make their sorry state look good. Texas in the summer is where daemons go to get heat stroke, as it is hotter than Hell." Submitted by ignorant fool


I'm a Houstonian...sorta. I live in a suburb. This page ain't isn't as funny as my teacher saying "tampon" (he's an idiot). --Clorox 00:45, 22 Oct 2005 (UTC)

I thought this page was pretty good, laughed out loud a few times. I live in Houston (Bunker Hill Village actually, but close enough) and I liked it enough to send to my friends. PsychoMedic 02:56, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

I'm a Houstonian... and I officially declare this article 100% true!-- 13:29, 10 April 2007 (UTC)

Ignorant fool is a dumbass, he obviously has never been to Austin and we are one of the few states that can sustain itself. And say all you want but at least we aren't a bankrupt state, no one has ever beaten Texas in a fair fight, and most of our universities are in the top 20 in regards to good looking women; we also know how to treat them better to because cowboys are gentlemen you guido fags. - Justin

How about...[edit]

Adding something about Newton and Jasper counties not being part of Texas?

Like this:

==Newton and Jasper counties==

Because of a six-year war, Newton and Jasper counties are autonomous collectives of Texas who remain loyal to the communist state Louisiana. Many people who live there are outraged by this, as even though they are west of the Sabine River, they have more cultural ties to Shreveport than Houston.

An apple fell on Isaac's head in Newton County.

--Clorox Yes, I'm American. No, I don't like George W. Bush. Please don't shoot. MUN ONS (diskussion) 20:53, 17 February 2006 (UTC)

The "I tell you what" stuff is just annoying, not funny

I respond with "I tell what, learn how to sig-in datdereedittalkem discussion page man" --Mad Hatter Madigan 00:35, 12 January 2008 (UTC)

Reworking the Texas Article Project[edit]

I've been reworking the Texas article for it being full of random stuff that isn't funny. Seriously, some parts look like a 3 year old wrote it. I think the administrators took notice and condemned the article because of that. I'll be working offline on a revised article that would be a lot better and actually funny. Remember that random humor is not really funny, so look to add or edit stuff by using a parody, such as a strange or cool custom or sight in Texas. Yet please don't take it too far. There is also satire. You may want to add your own opinions in the article in dependant phrases. I'm hoping that most of dedicated writers will help in stopping abuse in the article. Please when you edit or post your idea, be courteous by adding your thought below with your signature. --ImmortalAlien 00:32, 23 January 2007 (UTC)

  • I agree with much of your feelings on the randomness, but I also reverted a few of the changes you made. Here are some I feel need defended:

1) Took out "Oklahomo" and some of the pro-Houston propaganda in the beginning. With single-city propaganda, I think we already have that in the Geography section ("The most exciting city in Texas is...). If we use it in other parts of the article without coordinating, it'll just be constantly reverted by each city's defenders.
2) I wrote the skeletal outline for the current "History" section, meaning for it to be ridiculously pro-Texas... you know, the sort of things we get in our Texas Indoctrination Camps History textbooks, and most edits have stayed admirably faithful to this model. While many of the changes others made were obvious improvements, I've reverted some of the more random ones. My changes included:
a) Re-added the part sarcastically emphasizing that the Texas revolutionaries were "native", accusing the reader of racism if he/she disagreed. If no one else finds this politically humorous, then I guess I'm just off current events.
b) Reverting Godzilla back into Big Tex. For those who don't know, Big Tex is a real thing, and it is more appropriate for him to be included than Godzilla.
c) Reverting the "Russo-Japanese" war section. I mean, why parody World War II when you can parody a lesser-known war using retarded clever correlations? -BaronGrackle 17:12, 23 January 2007 (UTC)

New Beginning[edit]

It saddens me to see that the Texas page was just annihilated...well, sort of. I'm considering the idea of rebuilding the entire thing sometime this millennium very soon. I have some ideas, and the fact that I'm a native Texan should be useful...(evil laugh).

Edit: I see it was just un-annihilated. Ah well, I still have plans.

Edit again: I also just realized that I posted this comment on the top of the page rather than the bottom. Oops...

Nuclear cookout 04:45, 9 September 2007 (UTC)

Nuclear cookout 04:19, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

Funny? Uh.. you choose.[edit]

Born and raised here. Not really a funny article. The funniest part is the geography section.... which is totally true. PLEASE re-write this article. I have a few ideas but I am not funny :/ Big texas lump 22:16, 9 September 2007 (UTC)

In the works[edit]

Just wanted to let y'all know that I am currently working on a brand new Texas article. It is long, so it may take a few more days or a year week to finish, but I think it'll be worth it. NUCLEAR COOKOUT HAS SPOKEN.

Nuclear cookout 07:31, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

UPDATE: I'm over halfway done, so it shouldn't take too much longer; maybe 2 or 3 days. This is looking good.

Nuclear cookout 17:53, 14 September 2007 (UTC)


New article's up. Hope everyone likes it!

Nuclear cookout 20:26, 17 September 2007 (UTC)

Very nice PsychoMedic 23:40, 17 September 2007 (UTC)


This page isn't funny or mocking at all. It's a travel brochure written by a Texan with no sense of humor and a gushing man-crush on his own state. Look at the page for California and get some real ideas, dammit. Every other state with a page has a sense of humor, but of course some Texan has to make theirs serious, and only joke about things that reflect their bloated self-importance. Get over yourself and make it what it's supposed to be before I get angry.


(BTW, how do I do that timestamp thingee? I'd look it up, but...y'know...)

 Don't want the man crush on texas then ban texans from editing it.

Whoa, there[edit]

Calm down, man. This page is funny because it's a blatant exaggeration of facts; it overemphasizes existing things and real history. It's SUPPOSED to appear to be "bloated self-importance". That's hyperbole for ya.

Btw, you add four tildes for a timestamp (~)

--Nuclear cookout 20:04, 25 October 2007 (UTC)


Your article ain't funny. It's horrifyingly unfunny. Lemme ask you something - what planet are you on where the geographic size of Texas is the biggest joke about it? Your "jokes" wouldn't offend an evangelical. It's a state full of rednecks, religious fundamentalists, gun nuts, people who get sexual pleasure fantasizing about war and capital punishment, millions of people living in their own little batshit psycho Dick Cheney universe where the laws of physics don't apply, and you're talking about land area and flora...I think you drank a little too much of the local "water" (aka mercury). Now goddammit, I don't care how long you have to spend studying the other state pages before you figure out what a sense of humor is and how to pretend to have one - just do it. Do it before I send over my German aunt to spank you. Wercloud 08:56, 31 October 2007 (UTC)


Kid, this is hyperbole. It is a blatant exaggeration of facts. The whole point of this article is to make Texas look like the best, most glorious place in the history of civiliation. That's where it's funny. It's not supposed to offend, it's supposed to bring about a few laughs, especially to someone who knows a little bit about Texas. If anything, it would irritate someone from another state, which is also entertaining. Your vituperative, cantankerous tirade is unneeded.

Btw, you are mistaken about "religious fundamentalists" and "people who get sexual pleasure fantasizing about war and capital punishment", although I'll agree with the redneck thing. Don't believe every little biased rumor you hear.

Whining is very puerile, so I suggest you stop doing it.

--Nuclear cookout 19:19, 1 November 2007 (UTC)

Well, I've learned people from Texas have poor sense of humor.-- 11:42, 8 January 2008 (UTC)


Okay. Somebody has a problem with Texas. They probably got their ass handed to them in a contest of ANY sort with a Texan and decided to blast Texas for being too LEET for them. Go let off steam elsewhere, cause Texas is the greatest state in the country. Go screw yourself and come back when you've gotten over your 5-year-old I-don't-want-to-lose-so-I'll-blast-the-person-who-did-it attitude. Retard. -Velosi-T 02:57, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

We DO Execute the Retarded[edit]

Not to mention Yankees, Okies, minorities, majorities, and anyone who had the audacity to die of natural causes (you won't escape Justice THAT easily, my friends..we're watching you). So be careful what y'all say about us!

--Elmyr 01:02, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

FUCK YA!!![edit]

Texas, the land of real ass niggas n' g's !!!!

A note to the editors[edit]

There indicates location. Their is a possessive pronoun. They're is equivalent to "they are."

Hooked on Phonics worked for me! Grassi 18:52, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

Thank you for your suggestion! When you feel an article needs fixin', please feel obligated to make whatever changes you feel are needed, (even though they'll probably be reverted 5 seconds later). Uncyclopedia is a wiki, so almost anyone can edit almost any article by almost simply following the edit link almost at the top. You don't even need to log in in most cases! (Although there are some reasons why you might like to...) The Uncyclopedia Cabal encourages you to be italic. Don't worry too much about making honest mistakes—they're likely to be found and corrected quickly, and your 6 month ban will fly by faster than you think. If you're not sure how editing works, check out proper wiki formatting, or use the sandbox to try out your vandalizing skills. MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 18:53, Aug 16

Texans' view of Texas[edit]

South Texans think north texans are rednecks, north texans think south texans are illegal immigrants, and everyone thinks austin is full of hippies. that's just the way it goes.

Very well put. DJ Mixerr 19:14, January 9, 2011 (UTC) {User:DJ Mixerr/sig

Not good.[edit]

God, this is the most unfunny page I've read on Unencyclopedia. It's like reading a travel brochure written by Walt Disney.

"The mission of Uncyclopedia is to provide the world's misinformation in the least redeeming and most searingly sarcastic and humourous way possible."

Least redeeming. That means you can say bad things about it and the people who live there. Where are the negative stereotypes? Have you actually read any other article here? Seriously, if "Mein Kampf" was written by Rainman then edited, for language, by a CPA, it would be funnier. This is the kind of humor you only use around your in-laws.

--Ynpragne 03:24, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

Added some stuff: Lone Star State, lots of inbreeding and man-sex references. Filled out the demographics. Reworked education to more accurately reflect Texans emphasis on higher learning, but it might need to scrapped all together. This article is truly a bohemith of non-funny. – Preceding unsigned comment added by (talk • contribs)

Spiced up fun facts. Started on changing all references regarding Chuck Norris and George W. Bush.


gonna use some work... i fixed the history part--Cubby100 14:49, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Wrong jokes for the Wrong State--A Yank wrote this article[edit]

you can tell a Yankee wrote this page right away just from reading the "motto". Did you know 239 different languages are spoken in north Texas? It's like super immigrant discount warehouse over here! this article is being confused for the South east, more specifically Alabama and Arkansas. It's the kind of fact misplacement that ruins the jokes all together. I do like "ya'll" and "get'ur'done" even though "get'ur'done" is a little out-dated for Texas. And we have no French people. I found "French" being listed under the languages to also be way to far out there. German is a better choice because it goes along side the coat of arms. And we have German people here too. Some of this is funny, but I bet you could make 3 Articles with the jokes in here and they'd be funnier because they'd be true. For real stop thinking of Texas as "the only southern state" or as "the representative for all southern states" because Arkansas is a completely different place. fo' real. and you forgot all the black people who moved here from New Orleans!! HELLOO!??!!! Katrina?? yeah... they all came here. lul i didn't bother revising a comment. --WidowDude 16:42, October 23, 2010 (UTC)



I'm from Texas and I don't do any of that because I have intelligence[edit]

Your argument is invalid

--I don't do anything unless I have to, but you better hope I don't. 19:06, June 9, 2012 (UTC)

interwiki - czech[edit]

You can add there cs:Texas into interwiki section as well. Thank you. --Jitrnitz (talk) 09:02, 6 October 2019 (UTC)