Talk:Planned Parenthood

This page makes all of the fetii cry. --Monkeyfist FUN HTBFANJS sacksy | Talk 05:25, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

I'm confused. WTF? "Planned" Parenthood? Don't you end up there by not planning? --Mr. Evident 06:43, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

Check the oriental version to get the idea. One child per person! Preferably a boy. --Luubio 07:05, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

The sheer audacity of wearing this delectable two-peice swimsuit at my public swimming pool makes me worthy of all the attention I attract. Bravo, abortions and bikinis!--Slutz 07:18, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

This carp ain't the top quality carp I'm used to see in the fish market. I quote: "WFT?". Oh, this is an abortion clinic? --212.555.227.4299.1.900.8.5417 13:12, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

Wow. I guess the yay and nay voting system for egg insemination really is an ignorable policy. Always surprising me, Bethany. --JimmyCap 13:23, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

That's what I've been trying to say the whole time... Bethany is a tricky bitch. --User:Cuckold 16:53, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

Can I go there for abortions? Can I? Huh? -- Hmallet

Try it if you dare mate, but you're a man. Might be difficult. :) -- Tad Bryant 19:00, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

I have a feeling this isn't just indigestion. --User:That Fattie Who Went 8 Months Thinking She Was Just Bloated 18:57, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

WTF; this is awful. I mean, I've gotten pregnant, but I don't try to get it out until the good Lord says it's time. And God does not condone abortions. Miscarriage 20:16, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

I get the joke but it's very, very Lame... I mean like "Why wouldn't they let the fetus into the movie? HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY POCKETS!" more lame than that lame. User:Morest Lame 20:23, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

There was no yolk int he omelette. It's pure, unadulterated albumen as it originally was, and not the crappy zygote that someone made it into--Sir The King of All Comebacks FUN 21:38, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

Too stupid to be birthed. Chloroform 21:41, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

Maybe YOU'RE too stupid to be birthed. Ever think about that? Huh? Huh? --Sir The King of All Comebacks FUN 21:44, 2 Dec 2005 (UTC)

...Okay... you mean 27 years ago? Well then... just let me crawl back into your mother's womb. Penis first. Chloroform 21:49, 22 May 2011 (UTC)

Protect?

Why protect someone like an abortion doctor? Shouldn't they all be euthanized or something? BrianDonor 21:46, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

There's one over here and you're missing him.--Sir PointyFinger BUN 21:50, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

I don't see him. Point him out to me. --BlindManBluff 16:55, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

In the bushes! Quick, kill it!Sir PointyFinger BUN 21:50, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

Herpes?

So if I have herpes and my girlfriend has herpes, they cancel each other out, right? It like, makes us both immune? I think I can probably look on the Planned Parenthood website to find out, but my ignorance in the matter is much more comforting. Chlamydia! Huhman 19:50, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

Rationale

Okay, so there seems to be some dissension as to whether Planned Parenthood deserves to be government funded. I'm here to provide you with a well-researched and thought-out answer: No. That is all, go back to nation building. --ReddySteady 23:56, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

I'm here to provide you with a well-researched and thought-out reply to your answer:Pudding. Actually, I just thought of that.--User:o00.61.136.227 20:54, 26 May 2011 (UTC))

I just want the Middle East! (;_;) --ReddySteady 01:13, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

How?

Wait. Just wait. Before we all get caught up in some ridiculous debate over Planned Parenthood, I think perhaps somebody should explain how I would go about impregnating a lady. I'm unclear on a few steps. Now when they say, "bust a nut", do I need to be specific? Can I just smash a cashew? Or do I break the seal on a jar of peanut butter? Sex is confusing. --iCryBaby 01:40, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

This may explain it: "Use your tool, fool" If that doesn't do the trick, you should read some Lady Chatterley's Lover or Guns & Jugs. --Plotz 07:58, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

Oh, I see, that's no moon, it's just a humongous metal ovum. Gotcha. --Marty Muleman 13:51, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

I still don't know what to do with my balls. Do I shove those in, too?. --iCryBaby 18:10, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

To quote Oscar Mayer "Stick everything you can in there." I didn't say that Oscar Mayer did, and he's the king of making asses edible. --WienersForWinners 01:30, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

I was a skeptic as to weather or not abortion should be legal, at least at first. It pales in comparission to adoption, falling stomach-first down several flights of stairs, or keeping it, thereby inflicting severe emotional trauma due to your own parental inadequacies. I however, still haven't changed my mind. Maybe your baby would have discovered the cure for cancer or atheism. But no, because you just aborted it. Good job, you cancer-loving athiest. I am also heavily against cloning.--JimmyCap 05:32, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

I agree. You could abort the cure for cancer. But couldn't it also be said that you could abort the next Michael Bay? I bet that baby would go out the same way it came in - with a bang. --Plotz 22:58, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

Ok, this isn't funny, at all. Nobody has said a thing about which hole I'm supposed to use. By my count a woman has like seven or eight holes, and not one of them seems any more appealing than the others. So I went with her nostril. She seemed, umm, surprised. Should I have went ear? --iCryBaby 01:27, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

It IS funny (please note that, if nothing else, the fact that I red linkd the word "is" makes nasal sex funny). Since some (iCryBaby) have yet to figure out which hole to go for, I will provide the method of sexual intercourse; it is as follows: First, lightly grease a large cooking sheet and preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Now fashion brownie mix into the female form as best you can. Pop your brownie woman into the oven and watch her rise. When she is finished, this wonderful chocolate lady, pull her out and feed her to your dog. There... now you have a dead dog to practice your sex with.--JimmyCap 04:25, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

That... make a lot of sense... --iCryBaby 12:00, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

Just really quick I just wanted to note that I JUST NOW fucked a dead dog... boy am I stupid...--HoundPounder12 05:56, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, but you didn't get it pregnant, right?--JimmyCap 05:59 29 May 2011 (UTC)

Another thing that's funny about Planned Parenthood is the fact that this:

Planned Parenthood
A clinic giving away free abortions in return for
a) money b) reffering freinds to do the same 

managed to inspire an unending debate that continually shifts the focus of the political landscape from important issues like where the President was born and if we are being controlled by a race of camouflaged lizard men to that of a morally-ambiguous and uncertain grey area.--Plotz 08:34, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

Unfortunatly Planned Parenthood has a purpose, and that is producing biodiesel for the lizard men's ships so they can flee the planet after they have successfully depleted all our natural resources, like fossil fuels and aborted fetuses. Yes, their spacecraft run on baby juice. And the President was born in Islam, just to clear that up, too.--JimmyCap 16:24, 29 May 2011 (UTC)

Okay, here's the dealio. I want you to compile a list of things you think are more important uses of the government's time and funding.

Things that the government should fund instead of fetus farming

1.Not Planned Parenthood, which is most certainly a tool of Satan
2.
3.
4.
5.

Please sign your name so that I know who to pray for. --Boogitty 02:04, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

1. Not Planned Parenthood, which is most certainly a tool of Satan.

2. Things that my pastor says are okay, like outreach programs and singing in monotone.

3. The letter A, but not the other 25 letters, which are most certainly tools of Satan.

Seriously, all this baby murder is disgusting. God does not condone baby murder.

--ChristCraze99 3:16, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

*Points and laughs Have you ever read the Bible? Cuz Jehovah does quite a bit of baby killing, actually. A whole bunch, in fact. It's like his second favorite activity, after being praised and worshipped.--SkepticTank 04:04, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

1. Planned Parenthood, which performs a valuable service - reducing the number of screaming babies.

2. Everything else in the liberal agenda.

3. The first ten amendments of the Constitution (With the exeption of number two)--DrugsNotGuns 04:31, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

*Fingers and chortles --SkepticTank 05:04, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

Wait. Actually, that list is rad. --SkepticTank 05:18, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

You said rad? Really? In 2011?--DrugsNotGuns 16:26, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

1. Not Planned Parenthood, which reminds me I need condoms.

2. Buddhist Prayer Beads. To go in my asshole.

3. Beating my meat to polka music.

4. Hamsters. To get the prayer beads out.

--Not Banksy

1. Not Blahnned Blahrenthood, blahcause it is blahd and blahme.

2. Blahnned Blahrenthood fans blah are blahqually blahd and blahme.

--HoHumMan 19:16, 30 Blah 2011 (UTC)

BEST METHOD OF WATER TRAVEL

-thoughts?

Everyone knows the best way to travel in water is to row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily... oar not.--Row 19:27, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

I prefer to hike up my pants and follow the shoreline, knee-deep.--Wade 19:39, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

Fuck you!--Row 19:46, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

No, fuck you!--Wade 19:59, 30 May 2011 (UTC)

Seriously?

No Dying Fetus references?--69.208.71.111 21:38, March 1, 2012 (UTC)