Schnappian Party
The Schnappian Party (also known as the Schnappian Workers Party) is a Conservative-Liberal Radical Anarchist Communist Socialist Libertarian Authoritarian Communitarian Corporatist Democratic-Fascist Enviromentalist Nationalistic-Progressive Populist Religio-political Statirical and Anti-political Social-Democratic Syndicalist Transhumanistic party, focused on uniting the entire political spectrum into one badass onmiparty. Their overlord, Schnappi, who's authority may never be disputed, is the best thing to ever exist. It has the best manifesto to ever be made and does not aspire to world domination. The party was founded a really long time ago and no one can remember when. They are currently the ruling party in the Schnappian Democratic Republic with 99.999999% of the seats in the Schnappian Parliament.
Platform[edit | edit source]
The Schnappian Party refers to itself as "the best party" since it is the only one. Anyone contradicting this state of affairs will be forced to watch all 100 episodes of the child-favorite TV show My Little Pony.
The Schnappian Party centers on:
- "Schnappi the Undersized Crocodile" should become the national anthem of the world
- The king of Liechtenstein should abolish the monarchy
- All of the rice-like packets in corona test should be filled with rice and not poison
- The Iron Curtain should be re-activated and electrified
- The French national football team should give the 2018 FIFA world cup win to Croatia, as the referee made bad decisions
The Schnappian Party also campaigns on annihilating the country of Liechtenstein and completely destroying coal-powered power plants for the good of the world.
Early history[edit | edit source]
Background[edit | edit source]
The Schnappian Party was founded in the year -9999 AD to defend against Bavarian aggression at the time. It has been so far successful in defending its population and even waged war against Bavaria. The Schnappian Party would also like to arrest every Liechtensteinian since they're all mass homicidal killers, which got released by Bavaria in the year 1808 during the Napoleonic Wars. The party so far has been able to successfully accomplish zero (0) of their goals, which is a really high number for them.
Founding[edit | edit source]
Legend says that the Schnappian Party was founded in a CIA drone station basement in Antarctica. Of course, that legend is a blatant lie. It was actually founded by two individuals, ██████ and ████████, both of whom were prostitutes before their names were deliberately erased from all historical records by a rogue Wikipedia editor.
Participation in Schnappian politics[edit | edit source]
The Schnappian Party participates yearly in every Schnappian election since the dawn of time.
Schnappian Federal Election (1800)[edit | edit source]
In those early years, the Schnappian Party was beginning to gain huge support for their proposed initiative to annihilate Bavaria for destroying many Schnappian-owned shops and various other properties (known as the Moe Lester incident). In 1800, they won so many seats in Parliament that they had to order more chairs. They also campaigned in destroying Liechtenstein because they're all homicidal mass killers who escaped Schnappian prisons thanks to the Bavarians freeing them.
Schnappian Federal Elections (1801-1900)[edit | edit source]
Voting was suspended during the entire 19th century by the Schnappian Party due to the following reasons:
- Bavarians might rig it.
Schnappian Federal Elections (1901-2020)[edit | edit source]
The agenda of the Schnappian Party heavily concentrated on the aggressions of the Bavarian state against the Schnappian Democratic Republic. The Bavarians in that time period disabled Schnappian pretzel factories, which made billions of children who completely relied on pretzels in order to live go to bed without their suppers. In 2020, the Schnappian Party gained 127% of the vote, prompting unfounded allegations of voter fraud from absolutely nobody.