The Schnappian-Bavarian War

The Schnappian-Bavarian war is an ongoing and protracted confict that started in February 2022, primarily involving Schnappian and pro-Schnappian forces on one hand, and Bavarian on the other. The war is centered on the controversial pretzel embargo and the way the citizens of Bavaria speak.

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Conflict: Schnappian-Bavarian War
Date: 09.02.2022
Place: Bavaria; Lower Franconia, Upper Palatinate and Swabia
Outcome: Undecisive; war ongoing
Combatants
Schnappian Armed Forces Supported by: Ghana People's Republic of China	Bavarian Home Guard Supported by: Liechtenstein
Commanders
Schnappi himself Josep Broz Tito	Hans Klein Richard Big Bird
Strength
45 Blackbelts 154 Mechanized Crocodiles	16.7 million
Casualties
1 jar of vegemite	1.4 million killed 2.7 million injured 6 POWs

According to the General Secretary of the Schnappian Party, and President of the Schnappian Democractic Republic, the Bavarian people speak like "silly buggers", which is a very justified reason to go to war with Bavaria. In addition, the Bavarian issued an illegal pretzel embargo which blocked the Schnappian Democratic Republic from receiving any high-qualitiy pretzels, which initself is an act of war, according to the Schnappian president. To add salt to the wound, the A.S.S, which is the secret service of the Schnappian state, found out that the Bavarian government was funding Liechtenstein, an archenemy of the Schnappian Democratic Republic, which in return aggrovated the Schnappian state even more.

The Schnappian government has marched into a part of Bavaria. Schnappian officials claim that the war is not about gaining territory for the Schnappian state, however they clearly exclaimed that they won't be doing any promises. In addition, they also said they will not be holding to rules set by the Geneva convention, and only possibly burn down Bavarian orphanages while doing conquest in Bavarian territory.

So far, the regions which are affected by the war are Lower Franconia, Upper Palatinate and Swabia. However, the war is getting closer to the Bavarian capital Munich day by day.

History

The conflict itself, has a long root in history and culture. The first instance of agression is in the year 1806, during the Napoleonic Wars. The incident, also known as the Moe Lester incident, was a massacre, where the Bavarian General Richard von Moe Lester ordered Bavarian soldiers of the Erste Bavarische Garde to destroy Schnappian buisnisses and properties, after the Bavarians illegally occupied land of the Austrian Empire. Damage reaches from 69 cents to 42069 million billion bazillion dollers. In addition to that, they released all the prisoners of the area, whom got convicted of mass child homocide. Those prisoners escaped and later formed the country of Liechtenstein.

The second incident of such agressions occuring was on November 7th 1918, after the German Reich lost the First World War. Bavaria gained independence and formed the Bavarian Soviet Republic. During that time they destroyed all Schnappian pretzel production factories. Without those factories to supply billions of children, they all died. The Bavarian state also assassinated the current head of the Schnappian at the time, General Secretary Großer Dickman. He was slapped to death by a Weißwurst.

Terrorism

The Schnappian government threatened Bavaria to fund terrorist organizations like Al Yourmoma and ISUS. They publically announced they would 9/11 the Business Tower Nürnberg and at the same time reverse the Nuremberg trials. In addition, they said the also would completely annihilate the city of Munich by stealing Sadam Hussain's nuclear weapons which are hidden under these coordinates: 31.96731055105753, 42.90861990006852 19 meters underground.

Aids pandemic

The Aids pandemic has been really profiting the Schnappian combatants recently. This is due to the A.S.S sending agents with aids to screw Bavarian commanders and soldiers so that they die of aids (also known as Operation Doctoritburns). Aids started to surge in large metropolitan areas in Bavaria, like in Munich where supposedly every second person might have aids. Since 12/02/2022 a study revealed that aids has been causing major industrial complexes to lose credibility in Bavaria, which is causing a new economical depression compared to the great depression post World War 3.

Poop overload

The NEUTRALITY and FACTUAL ACCURACY of this article (but not the undisputable usefulness of this tag) may be disputed!!!
Please don't trust anybody anymore! Everyone may be a LIAR and a PSYCHO KILLER!!

Schnappian armed forces have plugged the central defication system of the Bavarian city munich on the 11/02/2021. That caused the city to experience a humungus poop overload killing 39 hobos. The streets of Munich were filled to the brim with shit. A local woman told us, at Uncyclopedia that she saw the Bavarian president try to drink up all the poo. How disgusting! It is unknown for how long the piss and poo will remain. Currently the piss poo solution is rising about 8 metres a day, according to the World Heath Organization. The Bavarian President issued the Schnappian government to 'please stop', which the General Secretary responded with "suck my balls".

List of War Crime Allegations against the Schnappian State

1. None, all of the allegations you heard about are all fake

List of War Cime Allegations against Bavaria

Company named Bavaria, but not actually from Bavaria?!

1. Torturing Schnappian commander Bratwurst using a pair of Lederhosen
2. Commiting tax evasion
3. Funding Big Bird to commit a massacre
4. Creating big chungus and using him to terrorise the United State of Arson
5. Existing
6. Inventing football boots; they made soccer uncool
7. Creating a company named Bavaria but not having it centered from Bavaria
8. Lederhosen and beer
9. and many many many many many many many many many many more

Foreign Intervention

Both sides of the conflict received foreign aid in fighting the war. On the Bavarian side; Liechtenstein, Thailand and Arnold Schwarzenegger. On the Schnappian side; Ghana, the PRC, North Korea, Egypt, South Korea, the German Democratic Republic, Steve Irwin and Steve Carell.

List of foreign support received by Bavaria

1 - Liechtenstein - 650 000 Euros to bulid Bavarias war industry

3 nuclear warheads, 350 Umpa Lumpas.

2 - Thailand - 16 tripe A bateries to charge miscelaneous electrical appliances.

3 - Arnold Schwarznegger - A working T2.

List of foreign support recieved by the Schnappi party

1 - Ghana - 1297.6 bowls of Ghanese rice.

2 - PRC (People's Republic of China) - Skis for guerillas fighting in the Bavarian mountans, Karate lessons.

3 - North Korea - A strand of Kim Jeong Un's hair, werewolf urine.
4 - Egypt - 154 Mechanized crocodiles.

5 - South Korea - All 3 Lord of the Rings movies.

6 - the GDR - 556 Lederhosen for Ministery Of Information and News (M.O.I.N) agents, to blend in as Bavarians.

7 - Steve Irwin - Trained the crocodiles.

8 - Steve Carell - Dwight Schrute from the TV series "The Office".