Land of Nod

Z'zzz'zzz The Democratic Republic of Nod and Allied States of Sleep Nod
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: '"Do not disturb"'
Anthem: Dawn Chorus
Capital	Nodtopia
Largest city	Nightmaron
Official language(s)	English, French, German, Spanish, Chinese... in fact all the languages in the world
Government	Fascist autocracy
‑ Emperor	Leopold Sandman X
‑ Chief Sandman	General Xavier Z'nod
National Hero(es)	you, this guy
Established	Renamed in 1936, formally Empire of Unwaking, formed by forced unification of peaceful nomadic tribes under Leopold Sandman I.
Currency	Sleep Sand (Zz)
Religion	none

The Land of Nod is a Sleeper State believed to be situated in another dimension (either that or Hounslow). It is officially the world's number one tourist destination, with literally billions of people visiting it every day. In fact, most people have holiday homes there. The only way to enter the country is by falling asleep. For this reason, Nod has booming immigration, but few airlines.

History and Subjugation

For millions of years, the Land of Nod was not unified, a collection of nomadic tribes who periodically visited the lands. They had no currency, government or civilisation and it is believed they spent most of their waking hours outside of the land commonly described as Nod. Little is therefore known of these peoples and they are generally regared by historians as a waste of time.

Then, in 1853, a visitor to Nod decided to usurp control of all the tribes and bring them together under the so-called Empire of Unwaking, with a newly formed capital city, Nightmaron. His name was Leopold Sandman and became the first Emperor of what is now Nod. People lived under constant fear and nightmare during this time. The sleeping minds of the masses would enter the land only to be plagued by terrible nightmares caused by so-called Sandman Raiders.

Life continued in this fashion until 1936, when the current Emperor Leopold Sandman X took over. Fearing that his empire had gained a negative reputation of late, he renamed it The Democratic Republic of Nod and Allied States of Sleep. This was, of course, a lie, and the fascist autocracy continued under this more UN-friendly guise. He transferred the capitol building to the newly formed Nodopolis and so the new Land of Nod was formed.

Despite such seemingly peaceful gestures from the head of state, the Sandman Raiders pillaging of the subconscious masses continued, but they were now forced to act in secret, only attacking a few sleepers.

Culture and Society

Upon entering the Land of Nod, most visitors are instantly captured and enslaved, forced to work in the sand mines or Imperial Palace in Nodtopia for their entire sleeping life. The streets of its many cities are full of people busily toiling away. The inhabitants, are, however, oblivious to their imprisonment, as their minds are fed with strange, often pleasant images known as Dreams. These often contain subliminal propaganda to convice their slaves to return. Sometimes the images of these dreams are so shocking, they can stimulate embarrassing behaviours in sleeping humans (e.g. sweating and urination). These signs are especially visible in children.

The main province of Nod is Slumberland, an area that contains the original capital city , Snoozechester. To its north lies the valley known as Deep Sleep which culminates in the Yawning Chasm, a famous tourist destination where the shrine to Rip Van Winkle, the first president of the Land of Nod, is reputedly situated. No images of that shrine are available, probably because none of those who have seen it have ever woken-up.

Most meals in the Land of Nod are served on a bed of pillow rice.

Economy

There was formerly a roaring trade in Sleep Sand, the country's only commodity, so much that it became the official currency of Nod. This, however, left the denizens with nothing to buy, so the economy crumbled in 1989. With an excess of useless product, the government took to smuggling the Sleep Sand out of their country in the eyes of the unconscious inhabitants, to avoid further deteriotation of their finances.

There is no official religion, and inhabitants are free to speak whatever language they choose. As long as it isn't Pig Latin or Scientology. His Imperial Majesty hates those.

Visiting

Holidays to the Land of Nod require no booking and are absolutely free of charge (provided you don't mind being enslaved in another dimension for a few hours each night). Journeys are usually made by bed, but a person is free to sleep in any of these places in order to get there:-

• The floor
• A gutter
• A bar
• The bed of a stranger
• Albania
• With fish

In fact, the Nod Tourism Office is so keen for you to visit their humble land that you don't need to find them, they'll find you.

To beat seasonal rushes, it is advisable to visit during the day.

The Tiberium Wars

The word Nod can also refer to a terrorist/religious group believed to originate from these lands. They were involved in a series of bloody wars with the Global Defense Initiative over an ownership dispute over Tiberium, another name for Crack Sleep Sand, a powerful hallucinogen and mutagen. The underground group Nod first converted pure Sleep Sand into this highly valuable illegal form and began selling it on eBay in 2004. After much of the United States got hooked on the substance, Nod rose their minimum starting bid, prompting the US to form the GDI in order to secure a lasting source of the drug. Chaos ensued, as did the wars, which lasted until 2108. Information on the wars is collected in the historical documentary Command and Conquer.

See Also

• Sleep
• France
• Kane

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This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.