Kadıköy Anadolu Lisesi

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WARNING!

This article violates Article 301 of the KAL Penal Code for "insulting Seagull Spirit" and making fun of the Sultanate of Dormitory.


Kadıköy Anadolu Lisesi
The Great Dormitory Republic of Kadıköy Anadolu Lisesi
Kal logo.jpg Kal arma.jpeg
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "Yatılı siqer aq"
Anthem: Fidayda
Kadikoy map.PNG
Capital Buliding of administration and The Great Student Council
Largest city Main building (Population around 1300)
Official language(s) Kadıköy Accent of Turkish
Government Democratic Socialist State
National Hero(es) Macit Kılıçeri
Declaration
 of Independence

1955 (establishment and gaining independence from Saint Joseph)

2017 (gaining independence from Halit Cittır)
Currency Cigarette Interchange
Religion Holy Seagull
Population 1298
Area Bigger than Saint Joseph
Population density OVER 9000
Ethnic groups 70 percent Gündüzlü (Normals), 15 percent Yatılı (Anormals), 10 percent Fahri Yatılı (CBTers), 5 percent who doesn't give a shit about anything
Major exports College students to Canada and Bogazici University
Major imports English Teachers
National animal Seagull
Internet TLD .marti
Calling code +90

Kadıköy Anadolu Lisesi is a dormitory building which gained its independence from Halit Cittır (c.c) in 14 April 2017 by his escape from the school. It's located near Istanbul, far far away from the civilization. It has been established in 1955 by Macit Kılıçeri, the first troll of the school. The building has five buildings connected into each other via deep underground tunnels and cosmic highways called "polen".

History[edit]

Kadıköy Anadolu Lisesi was a church for the Muslims before 1800s. After the "Great Expansion of Kadıköy Municipality" and the establishment of Saint Joseph, Kadıköy Anadolu Lisesi became the social drama of Joseph. Following the death of Saint Joseph in 1901, a group called "Sulh-i Mukal-ül Dehşet" opened a war against the Saint Joseph Highschool. The war nearly obliterated the attackers, leaving almost no one behind, leader Macun Kılıçeri committed sudoku. With this defeat, Saint Joseph took the advantage and conquered Çamlık in 1902. The hatred against Saint Joseph started to rise, with major rebellions in 1904, 1905 and 1907.

Saint Joseph was used as a redoubt by the French soldiers for storing baguettes in the Troll War 1, while Kadıköy Municipality was strongly against this act, saying "this is an act of war" and attacking with full men-power of about 4 female and 5 dogs against them. The French soldiers had no chance against such an invasion, and left the redoubt with nearly 150 loss of men. It was such a shame for them, even Mecnun Kılıçeri, the son of Macun Kılıçeri had a facepalm.

With the defeat of the French soldiers in Saint Joseph and the loss of the Troll War 1 ignited the nationalist movements in the region. Under the leadershipment of Mecnun Kılıçeri, locals started the second major greatest war in history has ever seen: The Troll War 2. With the help of the Alduin, they managed to break the defenses of Saint Joseph, even claimed the area for 2 months, but later abandoned it for the summer break. While all those things are happening, Saint Joseph built the Great Wall of Kekoslovakya between the two territories. The wall goes up to 3 meters tall and barbed up all the way down to sea from the main road.

After the war is over in 1945, Mecnun Kılıçeri was abducted by the Canadians. His elder son Macit Kılıçeri started building defensive buildings in the territory, eventually claiming the area "Kadıköy Anadolu Lisesi". While nobody accepted this, The Great Offensive led by Giorno Josephana started against Macit Kılıçeri in 1954. Macit and his army of 1000 men power summoned the Wrath and attacked the Josephian army in an epic war. Josephian army couldn't survived the attack and exterminated, but everything comes at a great cost: Since then, every single Kadıköy Anadolu principle has the Wrath and Greed in it, and is corrupt af. In 1955, Macit Kılıçeri established the Kadıköy Anadolu Lisesi and become the Fuhrer of it. Since that day, many sagas have been written about the war, but the best one was about the dragon that helped Anatolians exterminate the Josephians. It is called "Dragonporn".

Dragonporn[edit]

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin
naal ok zin los vahriin
wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
Ahrk fin norok paal graan
fod nust hon zindro zaan
Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!

Huzrah nu, kul do od, wah aan bok lingrah vod
Ahrk fin tey, boziik fun, do fin gein!
Wo lost fron wah ney dov
ahrk fin reyliik do jul
voth aan suleyk wah ronit faal krein

Ahrk fin kel lost prodah,
Do ved viing ko fin krah,
Tol fod zeymah win kein meyz fundein!
Alduin, feyn do jun,
kruziik vokun staadnau,
voth aan bahlok wah diivon fin lein!

Nuz aan sul, fent alok,
fod fin vul dovah nok,
fen kos nahlot mahfaeraak ahrk ruz!
Paaz Keizaal fen kos stin nol bein Alduin jot!

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin
naal ok zin los vahriin
wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
Ahrk fin norok paal graan
fod nust hon zindro zaan
Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!

National Anthem[edit]

National Anthem of Kadıköy Anadolu is "Fidayda", a song by Le-Man, the 2nd music teacher of the school in 1961. It is still unknown whether he was gay or not, but people claimed that they seen him once doing weird things with dead little animals. Fidayda here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zg-vD0QRiJQ

Eras[edit]

Kadıköy Anadolu Lisesi has gone past a lot of eras - called "dönem" - in which its population survived major nuclear attacks by the MEB forces. After getting stoned by Halit Cittır in late-2015, the school has gone into the Cittır era. Gaining independence from Halit Cittır, the era ended and the oedipus complex has started: a period where everyone wants to fuck eachother. During this ambiguity of power, assistant chair president Zakire "The Yatılı Slayer" Blondie has made a coup and ruled with an iron fist. This dönem is called "Don't touch my dormitory but you can touch me anywhere". After the oedipus complex is completed using space technology called "change of principals" this era ended as well. MEB forces used a secret technique that not even a single soul has yet to understood the power of it: Disguise as a Kemalist. With this, the "Selman Era" has started. With the change of elder seagulls called "teachers" the motto of the school republic changed from "yatılı siqer aq" to "öm exists just to lick the feet of principle". After the pankart olayı, Selman Kılıç removed its disguise and started the third major war "Psychic Dominator Disaster[1]" using a "Psychic Amplifier[2]". With every single soul has turned against the core of the martı spirit, the third independence war has begun. Tâ'âşuk has created the the guerilla forces "KAL Armed Forces (Kal Silahlı Kuvvetleri)" in order to fight against the dominator. During this war, Prep Building (Hazırlık Binası) was almost razed and the need for a new dormitory building has emerged. Asylum seekers scrambled into the Kadıköy and lived poverty of a life. İKL has accepted most of the asylum seekers during this war. With the defeat of Selman the Dominator, the "Selman era" has ended and the betrayal act has started. With the betrayal of vice executive officers, the school was in a dire need of principle. The help signal was heard from Kabataş Deniz Kenarı Lisesi and they sent a commander that is capable of opening a prep school. With this, the darkest era has started in the Maarif history: "Ali Fuat the Last Kulüp Bender" era. During this era, kal.memes has been martyred and the school has gone into the "Lament Era".