Graphic Design

"I am so artistic that sometimes I don't understand a single stroke of what I am painting"

- Oscar Wilde, on stroking paintings

Graphic design is a form of art, a visual representation. In today's time, a graphic designer is a person who creates art digitally, and wanks off to it. It has a lot of applications, mainly advertising, film, television, animation and product design.

Tools

It wouldn't be wrong to say that anyone can do graphic design. The embarrassing drawings your grandmother hangs on the wall, the stain of shit that the toilet would not flush out and whatever they call abstract art are all simply graphic design, you just could have added them in your job interview before the cunnilingus ritual.

Give a man a pen, he draws bullshit for a day. Teach a man to draw, he draws bullshit for a lifetime.

So do not give a man a pen, when you can give him a graphics tablet, a stylus, a color chart and the right direction. To sound like your wife, give him the entire house as well.

Digitally, there are two sections of graphics design software, 2D and 3D.

For 2D, the industry standard are Adobe products. They are all part of a larger color chart. Photoshop (P block elements, image manipulation) is used to remove the unnecessary people in your life, just like a rubber contraption. Illustrator(P block elements, mind manipulation) is the same thing, just with direction (vector haha so funny). Lightroom (P-block elements, light manipulation) is based more on naturally changing color for light. Premiere Pro (D-block elements, video manipulation) is used by wannabe Steven Spielberg's who like to copy film gradients. Now enough of the thanking Beyoncé. The best open-source software used for 2D graphics are GIMP, Krita, Inkscape and Darktable. They are extremely branched out and you don't have to pay a fucking rent on them. Just because you don't have to worry about the landlord does not mean you are living in a one room apartment.

For 3D, the industry standard is Autodesk. Maya, 3Ds Max and AutoCAD are the ones torturing employees working under companies which have walking sex scandals as bosses. On the other side of the Silicon Curtain, we have Blender (not to be confused with the 3D software) which is excellent for performing a wide mix of workspaces. More focused towards animation and game development, there exists Unreal Engine, an excellent choice for looking directly at reality (You just copied and pasted from the asset library). Important asset libraries in question include applications like Quixel Megascans, Quixel Bridge and Quixel Mixer (Yeah that's a fucking kitchen kink) or websites like Sketchfab. The best part is, you can take any asset or model from these libraries, drop them in an institutionalized project and pretend you created the entire fucking result yourself. Reminds me of the adoption center.

Jobs & Occupations

There usually are a certain number of principles of graphics, which complement each other. Apart from the usual jiggle artists, most of the occupations of a graphic designer overlap. The main fields in 3D are modelling, rigging, animating, masturbating, rigging, crying and rendering. Those who can animate, can also model. Those who can model can also sculpt. Those who can sculpt can also fuck off (No one can sculpt). Anyone who can rig are usually friends without introduction. Usually, designers go into advertising, films (Not responsible for Michael Bay's explosions), or design studios as previously mentioned. Or they can freelance and selflessly design things that are of great service to public interest. Some graphics designers go for CAD (Computer Aided Engineering) for architecture, engineering and blueprint-accurate penile art. Some go into extremely hard fields, which require significant levels of education on the matter along with sufficient knowledge of theoretical physics like assisting in the design of nuclear weapons or making logos for the big corpos, same thing. Animations and graphics are everywhere, even as you are scrolling through this article.