Fantard
| Fantard | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Scientific classification | |
| Kingdom | Animalia |
| Phylum | Chordata |
| Class | Mammalia |
| Order | Primates |
| Family | Hominidae |
| Genus | Homo |
| Species | Homo sapiens |
| Binomial name | |
| Homo sapiens tardus | |
| Specifications | |
| Primary armament | Swarming |
| Secondary armament | Whining |
| Power supply | Red Bull, white knight journals |
| Health | Sickly |
| Mana | deviantart |
| Strength | low - high |
| Intelligence | low - high |
| Weight | 70-1000 |
| Length | 50-100 |
| Special attack | Whiny Swarm with art and media |
| Conservation status | |
| invasive, destruct | |
The Fantard (Homo sapiens tardus) is an human subspieces who lives in the evil zone known as Fandom and are more dangerous than Grues, due to they swarm people in massive numbers such as 20 to 30, and will viciously attack any person that stands on their path, like killer bees. If You ever see one, RUN AWAY AT SIGHT! They can be male or female, and can range from 11 years old to 100 years old. The most vicious can be seen at deviantART, LiveJournal, Gaia Online. EXTREME caution should be taken when wandering these sites.
Overview[edit | edit source]
Should not be mistaken to a normal fan, due to fantards are extremely obessive to the fandom they like, in fact they are too obessive to their franchise they ruin it, like a 4 year old child who ends up hugging her pet cat to death. They spend their free day going to websites like deviantART and LiveJournal, making porn and fanfics of their favourite characters, which will inevitably ruin the hell of it; They will also spend the other times looking for critics, trolls and anti-fantards; if they found one, they will appear in masses (about 20-30) and stab them until their kingdom come. So don't ever try to touch, critize their artworks or fanfics, or attack their fandom, or you got what you deserve. They will also whine about that new things suck everyday, such as pokémon should be ended after gen 2, or Sonic have no green eyes. So, what they see about new things is a fly ruined their congee. Overall, fantards kill every franchise.
Habits[edit | edit source]
Fantards are extremely nightmarish creatures for every franchise. They create slash pairings (a fandom pairing that inloves the same sex, such as men X men or women X women) that no sane people can stand, such as Gaara X Naruto. What's more, in order to add for more gruesome effects, they even draw creative slash pairings which are beyond the normal immagniation, such as Yugi X Atem which are obviously the same person doing their yaoi act.
If these are not insane enough, they will usually spawn an abomination known as a Original character, or simply called as OC. It is basically a horribliy mutilated canon character such as a green Sonic or a ninja that looked like Naruto, on a execptionally stupid plot made by the fantard. What's worse, is if the OC gains much popularity, the fantard who spawned it will do a collaboration or simply called collab, with other fantard's OC, which is usually an OC having gay/lesbian sex with another OC.
Society[edit | edit source]
Fantards usually live in societies called "fanclubs", in which is leaded type 3 fantards, which is an extremely popluar fantard which orders other fantards to flame other fantards of other fanclubs, critics who give Constructive Criticism or trolls who invade their fanclub. It also seems to be the fantards who posts the most original character/non-canon slash porn, and might be the big reason behind its popluarity. Under the Type 3 fantard are type 2 fantard, which are also called "asskissers" or "white knights" Because of their tendency to attack other personnel. According to French poet Anonymous, They are extremely dangerous, but he is able to handle them, but, according to Encyclopedia Dramatica, says an average person is not able to handle one swarm of them. Also, a variant of the type 2 is the zombie fantard, Which will ovbiously think Naruto X Gaara is the most KAWAII DESU NE couple, and are the true real dangerous ones. Because of this, they are the most primary forces of fanclubs.
A Fantard of the My Little Pony franchise is called a Brony. Above ranking systems do apply. There is also a force called white knights, which follow the type 3 fantard for the sole purpose of sex, which will obviously fail.
Interaction to sensible personnel[edit | edit source]
Attacks[edit | edit source]
“once, I found somebody who drew a sick yaoi picture of Gaara having sex with Naruto in deviantART, then i called them sick which is truth. The next day, I found my deviantART homepage coated with goatse and tubgirls.”
Fantards are known for their foul moods, and have extremely short tempers and will lass out against Critics, Trolls, other fanclubs, or people who insulted their magificent Gaara; therefore making them extremely dangerous to encounter. They also have an extreme rivalry to the common mind, so they always bring trouble to art or fanfic critics. Given they always swarm the victim, if the person is not ready for that(critics,again), an angry swarm of fantard is able to totally destroy a homepage and overwhelm an person. Also, the first sign of a angry fantard mass blasting you is you see a "white knight journal/notice/whatever" against you. But however, trolls, especially Internet hate machines, are immune to such swarming, and will almost always sucessfully raid the fantard. One report of a fantard attack in deviantART against an unknown user (due to the deviant having a slight arguement to the type 3 fantard of the fanclub) caused the deviant's webpage to be hacked with harlequin fetus and lemonparty, and the admins banned him within 3 seconds (reason:Trolling).
Yugi X Atem yaoi, deviantART, anime section
Sensible personnel: Oh my god, you losers don't get a life. Do you guys know that Yugi and Atem are the same person? If you dont know, it's normal, since you guys know little about Yu-Gi-Oh!. Sick Fucks.
Fantard1:UGI AND ATEM IZ @ S00000 KWA11 DEZU N3 COUPLE^0^!!!DE@TH T0 A11 Wh0 0PPOSE THIS C0up1e>_<!!!11
Fantard2:I agr33 with fantard 1 !!!THEY R S0000 NEK0-DEZU T0GETHER!YO How RuD3 >O<!!!11
Fantard3:0H Y3AH!!!111YU WI11 PAY!!!!>:(
Sensible personnel went back to his hompage next day, only to be found that his homepage get attacked by goatse and meatspin.
pwnd
Fantard glossary[edit | edit source]
- Brony; A fantard of my little pony, known for his Friendship and magic.
- Twitard; Not to be confused with faggots who blindly worship Twitter, It's a fantard who lives in the Twilight fandom.
- Tourneyfag: A gamer fanboy who engages in Fair and competitive battling.
- Sonicfag: a fantard of the sconic franchise. One of the most dangerous fantards that you will ever come across.
- Yaoi Fangirl; A rabid creature that will actually kill your family if you troll their Sacred couple. As of one of these rabid plagues, "WE DO ANYTHING TO DEFEND THE ONE TRUE COUPLE!!!!!111"
Common reaction to fantards[edit | edit source]
“Oh my god! They ruined Pokémon, Harry Potter and Naruto, by making sick couples of our normally fantastic characters!”
“Even I don't take my productions that seriously. Once I encountered a fanturd that said she had a boyfriend called Malfoy at Hogwarts. Of course I bitchslapped her, due to her giga-stupidity.”
“One should not engage a fight against fantards; doing so will only cause your demise, unless you are a troll like me.”
“The nethermost fanart are not for the fathoming of eyes that see; for their badness is strange and terrific. Cursed the yaoi where weird gay couples live new and oddly bodied, and evil the crap that is ranted by no fantard. Wisely did Ibn Schacabao say, that happy is the fanart website where no fantard hath registered, and happy the town at night whose fantards are all banned. For it is of old rumour that the soul of the devil-bought hastes not from this fanart website, but fats and instructs the very user that draws; till out of corruption horrid fanart springs, and the dull Fantards of deviantART wax crafty to vex it and draws weird fetishes to plague it. Great dung secretly is featured where pokemon ought to suffice, and fanart have been praised that ought to be ranted.”
fantard syndrome[edit | edit source]
Fantard syndrome is the colletive term of you turning into a fantard, and it is first discovered by deviantart admins, when they noticed that normal personnel turn into type 2 fantards because they interact with zombie fantards. They also discovered that zombie fantards always carry the virus, and type 2s and type 3s will sometimes carry it. It can potentially infect you via Contact:
Symptoms of when you are turning into one[edit | edit source]
First, the victim will start to obess a kind of fandom, starting to wander and have an urge to join deviantART, LiveJournal and Gaia Online. After then, about 3 hours later, they will start to join said sites and starts to speak English combined with Japanese, usually in leetspeak. One week later the victim will start to masturbate to (then create) non-canon Yaoi/yuri, and starts to defend the fantastic Deja vu of the fandom a lot. (Such as thinking Gen1 and Gen2 is the best). Asspatting should occur after one week, after that the victim will join at least 3 Original character groups/clubs/Fanclubs. The worst symptoms is the victim starting to join attacks against critics, trolls and anti-fans, using troll like ways, the learning of spamming and hacking, and finally 4Chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica starting to have an interest against you, signaling the victim turning into a type II, if he/she is not destroyed he/she will even turn into a zombie fantard. If the type II fantard haven't turned a zombie fantard and drew over 20 pieces of shitty fanart, he/she will turn into a Type III fantard, and possibly opening more fanclubs and producing more shitty fanart.
Cure of fantard syndrome[edit | edit source]
There is no cure for fantard syndrome, but there is a belived cure which is the reverse of fantard fandom, known as real fandom. It is composed of canon couples, reality and subtle humor, and also there are no original characters. But however, there is a debate of wherever these things exist.
See also[edit | edit source]
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This article is part of UnbestiarY |