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New York hobos is the name given to an enigmatic, feral colony of bipedal mammals that can be found loitering about in the slums of the mighty metropolis of New York. While it is not yet definitively known how they came into existence, or the reason for their odd congregations in already densely-populated urban areas, there exists a widely-accepted theory that their demeaning lifestyle of fetid fornication and bathtub gin is at the root. As of the 2010 census, there are an estimated 37,000 New York hobos, the majority of which are of the seemingly-lower caste, distinguished by their darker complexion. New York hobos are considered to be a true omnivore, much like the common brown rat, and one will consume almost anything, but alcoholic beverages form a substantial part of its diet. A study conducted during the Reagan administration on the diets of the New York hobos came to the conclusion that the most-liked foods of New York hobos were (in order) alcohol, fast food, pizza, macaroni and cheese, rat feces, human feces, and cooked corn kernels. The study also concluded the least-liked foods were apples, raw beets, peaches, and raw celery. (Full article...) Recently featured: UnNews:Trump awarded another Nobel Peace Prize for ending war in Venezuela he started three hours ago Frodo Baggins I love you brah Holmium Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now? ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say? ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now? ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say? ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now? ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say? ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?	In the news Downing Street denies this image. Starmer announces plans to make tweeting illegal in the UK (Pictured) Trump given yet another Nobel Peace Prize for ending war he started 3 hours ago Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches! ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Non-playoff NFL teams firing their coaches • Jim and John Harbaugh family vacation in Cancun Recent deaths: Animal Farm • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • New York Rangers' fans livers and kidneys • Green Bay Packers', Carolina Panthers', Jacksonville Jaguars', Los Angeles Chargers', Philadelphia Eagles', and Pittsburgh Steelers' seasons • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • The Buffalo Bills' season. Not dead: Eleven Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • The Sabres actually being good? • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs" • Aaron Rodgers' career, maybe On this day... January 18: French Armed Forces Day (France) 1778 - James Cook discovers the islands of Hawaii, names them the "Sandwich Islands": Cook is later killed by Natives after he declares the Taco to be a folded sandwich. 1886 - Field hockey is invented by hypermasculine men who feel that gliding on ice is like, "totally gay." 1919 - During the Paris Peace Conference, the French Army give themselves the "Winner-est Winners" award, for having won the most in the conflict they have won. 1943 - The Polish city of Kraków is liberated by the Red Army, the Poles are surprisingly ungrateful for some reason. 1990 - Digital Underground's Humpty Dance becomes the No.1 song in America, listeners kill themselves in droves, having heard the voice of God. 2013 - To curb certain "unfounded" stereotypes of French people, France invades Northern Mali: troops immediately go on strike due to lack of hazard pay. 2024 - France surrenders. Though it is unclear who they surrendered to.
Featured picture On September 11, 2001, international celebrity Santa Claus shocked the world by first firing a missile at one World Trade Center tower, and then flying into the other tower at top speed, killing thousands. Santa survived using his famous magical powers. Image credit: Zombiebaron View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners