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Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.
Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.
Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!
Hold on...
Why is my hair roller in here?
Wait...
This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?
Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.
Just a minute...
WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
- ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
- ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
- ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
- ... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
- ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
- ... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)
- ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
- ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
- ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
- ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
- ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
- ... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
- ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
- ... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)
- ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
- ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
- ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
- ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
- ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
- ... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
- ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
- ... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)
- ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
- ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
- ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
- ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
- ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
- ... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
- ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
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In the news
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On this day...
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