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Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.
Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.
Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!
Hold on...
Why is my hair roller in here?
Wait...
This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?
Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.
Just a minute...
WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured)
- ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
- ... that your fly is unzipped?
- ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high?
- ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
- ... that women get periods, but men get commas?
- ... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured)
- ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
- ... that your fly is unzipped?
- ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high?
- ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
- ... that women get periods, but men get commas?
- ... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured)
- ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
- ... that your fly is unzipped?
- ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high?
- ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
- ... that women get periods, but men get commas?
- ... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured)
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In the news
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On this day...
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