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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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- ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia?
- ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
 - ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
- ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
- ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
- ... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
 - ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia?
- ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
- ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
- ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
- ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
- ... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
- ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia?
- ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
- ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
- ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
- ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
- ... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
- ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
- ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia?
- ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
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In the news
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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On this day...
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