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Much loved '50s, '60s and '70s entertainer Radio Star was found dead at home in Los Angeles County in 1982, aged 47. Radio Star's career had been waning for several years due to the increasing popularity of his rival, Video, and initial reports on the story suggested suicide was a likely cause. However, in a dramatic turn of events, the police announced they were treating the matter as a murder investigation, and shortly afterwards arrested Video for the crime.

Radio Star had shot to popularity in the first half of the 20th century, and was a popular fixture on the wireless back in '52. Young people would lie awake intent at tuning in to him, and nothing stopped him coming through. The future was bright for Radio Star, and nothing seemed to stop his inexorable rise. Aided in his early career by the fact that there was nothing worth watching on TV, he monopolized the airwaves in a fashion not seen before or since (notable efforts by the ubiquitous Oprah Winfrey notwithstanding).

In the '60s and '70s, he had to contend with a new rival – TV Star, whose hot new gimmicks included "visibility", "motion", and hippy chicks grooving along to the music. Unfortunately for TV Star though, his gimmicks at this time didn't include "endless playback of popular songs", meaning his exposure was limited, and Radio Star was able to survive this initial onslaught. However, it turned out that TV Star was just a forerunner of the much greater threat around the corner, a threat that was instigated by those fiendish international masterminds: Freddie Mercury and Queen. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
... that you've just lost the game?
... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
... that you've just lost the game?
... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
... that you've just lost the game?
... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?

... that Sigmund Freud told me he slept with your mother last night? (Pictured)

... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.

... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)

... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
... that you've just lost the game?
... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?

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In the news
Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. Trump talks to America on Iran, Chuck Norris, the Moon, March Madness, and firing Pam Bondi World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • UConn ladies' basketball season + Jordan's Furniture customers • Jesus Upcoming deaths: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too • Holostars JP UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
April 4: National No Spamming Day (Iraq) 3141 BC - The world's first great pi was baked. It took $\pi$ years to eat. 1949 - Iceland's blundered declaration of war on the USA leads to the accidental formation of NATO. 1503 - Disneyland Central America opens in the Aztec city of Tenochtitlan. 1975 - You really should have bought shares in Microsoft, which was formed on this day. 1984 - President Ronald Reagan calls for an international ban on something or other, oh hell I can't remember. (Pictured) 2001 - The butterfly effect is proved in an ingenious experiment, causing devastating hurricane damage in China. 2002 - Actor Mickey Rooney begins his process of decomposition. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

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The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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