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Foreign accent syndrome is a rare psychiatric disorder that, in its milder form, causes people it affects to pronounce words in a foreign accent. The disorder usually follows a brain injury caused by non-perforating head trauma, as perforating head trauma is much too gory for a proper mental illness. In extreme cases, victims of FAS can actually acquire knowledge of the foreign language associated with their new accent, slang terms and humorous exaggerated versions of national stereotypes included. A victim who develops a Lithuanian accent might acquire the Lithuanian language, tell other people to "Laizhyk asilo shikna", piss on bottles of Švyturys Ekstra, and date his sister.
As of the present, there is no known cure or treatment for FAS, and scientists have yet to completely unravel how the disorder works. People afflicted with the disorder are usually shunned within their community and turned into social pariahs. Fortunately, there are government sponsored programs that let victims of FAS assimilate in foreign countries where their accents are accepted. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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- ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
- ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
- ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
- ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
- ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
- ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)
- ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
- …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?
- ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
 - ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
- ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
- ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
- ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
- ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
- ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)
- ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
- …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?
- ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
- ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
- ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
- ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
- ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
- ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
- ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)
- ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
- …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?
- ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
- ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
- ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
- ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
- ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
- ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
- ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
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In the news
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On this day...
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March 1: International Grue Day
- 1950 - Grues are first discovered living under couch cushions and inside tumble dryers.
- 1964 - Grue farmers release a whole colony of Grues into the wild, to hunt them for their silky and fragrant hide.
- 1972 - Louisiana Grue hunter and businessman Phil Robertson invents the Grue Call a whistle which imitates the dulcet mating call of the Grue.
- 1974 - While protesting the selling of Grue hide, one hippie is accidentally eaten by a Grue. It was a one time thing, they only do that when they're hungry.
- 1981 - The Grue population enters a rapid decline due to overhunting and a government campaign to vilify the grue.
- 1999 - The Grue Relations through Understanding and Empathy (GRUE) organization is formed to combat harmful memes about Grues and their supposed danger to society.
- 2001 - GRUE are all eaten by grues.
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