Forum:Decision time

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Uncyclopedia's traffic has gone down. This is a shame. So many people have put insane amounts of time into this site, and there's a massive amount of genuinely funny material among the shit.

The thing is, does it really matter? Do we want to attract more users to the site, make it grow, make it get more well-known? Or do we really mind if it carries on bobbling slowly downwards, losing more users than it attracts until it eventually dies? I guess what I'm saying is, do we want a site, or a community? Are we for the users or the readers? These aren't rhetorical questions, I'm genuinely asking.

There's got to be a reason why Uncyclopedia's failed. We used to be growing fast, hardly able to cope with the increasing traffic (read: spam), and now all that seems to stir up activity is when we fight each other. To be perfectly honest, we're stagnant.

Maybe there just aren't enough intelligent, funny satirists on the net for a project like this to work. Some of our best writers have left to go and work for pay, and that's fantastic. But that means the site will gradually lose its funniest people, and if we can't get more well-known, we're not going to be able to replenish them. Sure, we've got some funny people left, but you can't expect a few people to keep writing and writing and writing when they're not even sure it's going to go anywhere. If the site was growing, there'd be the excitement of that, but it's not. Like Famine said, the Titanic's sinking, and bailing it out feels hopeless.

I'm not saying there's nothing we can do; after all, every site starts from the ground up at one point, and there's no reason why we can't do that too. Kind of like going back to kindergarten after getting to high school and realising you can't read. But we have to want to do it, so I guess we need to make a decision. Do we want to grow? Or do we want to stay as we are?

There's all sorts of things we can do. We've still got enough users for a pretty aggressive dissemination campaign on forums people frequent, and places like that. We could even go offline - there's posters, stickers, all sorts of stuff. If we can each donate a dollar/pound/euro or two, we could probably even pay for banner ads on other sites.

But that's only if you want to. We can grow, or we can wither. Either could be fun - one will just be more high profile.

That's all. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 86.138.124.149 (talk • contribs)

Woo! Another quality control forum! Let's all argue and get nothing done again! Yay! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 10:54, Apr 28

We are going stagnant and, as I said before in my crappy topic, the only thing that can fix this is writing stuff. That is what the site is for, not maintenance or Pee Review - those are secondary and are done because of the writing - WRITING is what is paramount. It is sad that quite a few people don't realize this. We need an overhaul and someway to reverse such a slump. I suggest we have a minimum number of votes on VFH so only the very very best stuff gets on the front page, kinda like they had in 2006 I believe, very good articles would stay on VFH for a while before featuredom. We can either write really really good stuff and make the site (and ourselves) look good or stroke our collective egos and back slap each other into oblivion. Now there will be a whole bunch of people who will bag this with poor puns and parodies, which is fine and good, but nothing will really happen. Famine may have been hardassed but he is right on, we are very gradually devolving into a crappy forum like SomethingAwful with drama and junk but nothing really happening, only us inflating our egos with pointless awards, whoring our articles rather than perfecting them and getting one up on IPs. I would suggest we have a good looking over of the site and do something concrete, not guidelines and stuff but how we ran things in 2006 or 2007. Good writing breeds good writing so write good! --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 11:25, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

You might say I am being a dick but just a few months ago I would have killed for FAs but really they mean nothing. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 11:34, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

FYI we've never had a minimum score for featuring. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 13:10, 28 Apr 2008

Also FYI: If we're taking Famine's advice, we may as well pack up the site and go somewhere else; that was essentially it. Either that, or we beg and beg until he comes back and heroically saves us all again. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 18:57, Apr 28

Comrades! Comrades! Let's just draw the curtains, turn on the gramophone, and pretend like we're moving! ~

Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

28/04/2008 @ 11:33

What we actually need is less people talking about what should be done and more people out there doing it (whilst keeping quiet about it). I've been here a long time, seen people come and go, different styles arrive, changes to how we do things, remember the discussion about whether we should have a Forum or not as it might detract from the actual writing. If people aren't happy they should take a break, or otherwise do something to make themselves happy. The site will survive without you, and once you're refreshed you can come back and write again. There's no pressure on anyone here to do anything. You do it because you want to. For the love of it. Endless talking about stuff won't see change. Lead by example.

Today's motivational speach has been brought to you by Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

What Mhaille said. (/me goes off intending to write something but gets distracted by work and other frivolous stuff). --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:11, Apr 28

You guys know my answer, but I'll put in the cliff's notes version anyway. You want traffic, then let memes in. It's how I got here in 2005. True story.--<<>> 12:21, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

Wait wait wait wait wait. Wait.

Blimey. Did anyone even read this? This isn't a quality control topic. It's about traffic. Sure, traffic is largely affected by quality, but I didn't actually go into the quality of the content in my post up there. I thought about it, but I decided it would detract from what I was trying to say... though it looks like we didn't need any help there.

What I'm saying is we need more writers, and without traffic we're not getting them. I have a couple of ideas, but it'll involve a load of major changes for the site, and if people aren't happy with that then that's fine, I'll go back to not being here. I'm not interested in being part of a stagnated community, but if that's what makes people happy then there's nothing wrong with it. If we went back to being a dynamic, growing satirical encyclopedia, then I'd jump in with open arms (hmm, difficult maneuver). I'm just trying to figure out if people actually want that.

Oh crap, I can see this becoming one of those overlong, circular topics that no-one actually reads. Help. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 86.138.124.149 (talk • contribs)

You make good points, but have you got any ideas? Edit: Just noticed you did put ideas, that'll learn me to read! One of the reasons for putting a rating system in was to encourage people to participate and hopefully stick around longer. Dunno how successful that's been!

One of Uncyclopedia's worst problems is that people are all too willing to point out what's wrong with it, but when it comes to actually doing something about it, suddenly nobody wants to know. So let's brainstorm. It's a safe bet that most internet people know about Uncyclopedia by now, so if we want more people, we need to either get those people re-interested or get Uncyclopedia out where it hasn't been before. One way would be to actually get the store sorted out. People wearing uncyclopedia out and about is bound to draw in more people. Another thing would be to find some way to publish a book of our best stuff. That's been suggested a few times, and would be hella difficult, but if we managed a store, we could use profits from that to get it in motion. Although sorting out the whole "profit" thing is probably the most difficult part. That's all I can think of for now. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 13:10, 28 Apr 2008

Oh yeah, we could also actually get our wikipedia article featured, which would bring lots of people. Then again, that might bring the wrong kind of people, like totally unfunny serious wikipedia people. For example, that's how I found uncyclopedia. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 13:16, 28 Apr 2008

Weeeeelllll.... I was thinking something along the lines of:

1. Listen to Codeine. If we scare people off, the people we attract won't stay.
2. Major quality control drive. I know, I know, it's been tried over and over again so many times before, and every time it's been controversial and in the end failed, leaving the site cluttered with obsolete templates and a smattering of resentment. But it needs to happen, because if we get people to come here but the stuff they see when they arrive is rubbish, they're not going to stay. Complex stuff doesn't really seem to work, so perhaps we just need something short and sharp - maybe a month where we just have a total blitz on the site, removing the crap. This is going to be incredibly unpopular, I know, but we might even have to stop IP editing for that time so that it doesn't get replaced with more. Think Forest Fire Week, but multiplied, and successful this time. - Removed as per Modus's comment below.
3. Your (Spang's) idea of revitalising the shop sounds good, as that could get us the cash to fund a book, or maybe banner ads on a few sites. Donations would also be good, though we'd need a trusted person to run the bank account.
4. Banner ads, emailing internet-news sites to see if they'd like to run a feature on us (maybe even offline publications), getting people to put links in their sigs on other online communities, getting our Wikipedia article featured (thanks Spang), stickers (thanks Modus).
5. See what happens. If the combination of increased awareness and better quality doesn't help, then I don't know what will.

Any ideas, suggestions? This was knocked up quite quickly so the discussion wouldn't progress too much, so if I've missed out anything glaringly obvious, please shout at me. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 86.138.124.149 (talk • contribs)

Shop: good

Book: good (but potentially the most work ever)

Quality control: bad (picture it this way: n00b writes a page, goes to bed, comes back and it's been summarily deleted. No note on his user talkpage, no VFD, nuffin'.)

Bumperstickers: My page is on the honor roll at Uncyclopedia.org. It's worked for me. People keep writing "wash me" on the back window. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 14:31, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

On second thoughts, I think you might be right about the QC thing. As the site gets more well-known, people will be more motivated to do cleanup anyway, so if a major push is going to create more problems than it'll fix, it's probably not worth it. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 86.138.124.149 (talk • contribs)

Revitalize the store? Wouldn't that imply it had vitality to begin with? A problem with merchandising is that as far as I know, Uncyc is fully owned and semi-operated by Wikia. To make a book or bumper stickers would be cashing in on their brand, so I imagine we'd have to pay royalties to Jimbo and Angela for every t-shirt we sold. That seems like a messy ordeal. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 15:36, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

Don't you want a thong with a potato on the front? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 15:49, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

I'm wearing a burlap sack with potatoes on the front. I may get a thong to match, but I'd miss the feeling of burlap chafing my loins. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 16:39, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

/me throws tenderloin in garbage. Suddenly I've lost my appetite. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 16:41, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

I'd say more fully operates, semi-owns. And while the matter of whether wikia owns the uncyclopedia name or not could be debated, they definitely don't own the content, and even more definitely can't directly charge or make money from it without the authors' permission to do so. Though they never responded to our request for their official opinion on the matter, so if they're reminded and still don't reply, it can be assumed they don't care or don't want to help out. Last time I was voted to do something in relation to the store, so I might start planning some stuff if we're feeling like it now. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 16:54, 28 Apr 2008

So...my shipment of Today's featured article thongs is delayed, then? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc!

A whacking great list

Ack. I've taken far too long to write this, and as such it's a bit out of date, but I might as well put it here anyway. We can cross things out as they get decided.

Things we need:

• Someone to run the store. - Spang's doing this, as per above. We need someone who can be trusted to create a separate bank account and put all profits into running the store, at least at the start. Once we have enough, we can think about spending money on some banner ads or even getting this book together.
• Someone to run donations - this can probably be the same person as the store. The simplest way to do this would probably be through a site like Justgiving (wonder if we qualify as a charity?) or Paypal.
• It might be a good idea to have some kind of "How you can help Uncyc" page, to get it outside the forums. Not a lot of readers also read the forums, so if we could get them involved that would be great - say someone sees our page and thinks “Hey, my mate runs [insert site here], maybe he’d be interested”.
• Sticker designs. A lot of things are already designed in the shop, but as I remember there were some copyright problems with a lot of them because we weren’t sure how to contact the creators, so they might need redoing. On a solely stickerish note, it would be good if there were two ways of doing it - one where you can buy them ready-made from the shop, and one where you can print them off yourself, and maybe a link to a place for buying sticker paper.
• Some people to get that Wikipedia article featured. It got close last time, but didn’t quite make it for a number of reasons, mainly to do with Manual Of Style violations, and there are also a lot of useful points hidden in the nomination discussion itself. Reading through the nomination page, the person to talk to, if they have time, seems to be User:SandyGeorgia. Spang, you said you used to be from Wikipedia - if you have time, you’d probably be the most experienced one of us to do this.
• We also need to talk to Wikia about the copyright issues. Apparently that's already been done with the shop. As I understand it, the content is all under Creative Commons, which means it’s essentially owned by the people who created it, not Wikia, but we can’t use it for anything that would involve profit. Either way, we’ll need to contact both Wikia (to make sure) and also the creators of anything we want to include. That shouldn’t be too much of a problem, though, as many of our best articles are written by just a few people. Hey, cool it, I said many.
• In the long term, we'll need a publisher for the book and someone to compile it. The Friday Project might be good for this, the people who did the publishing for all those police and paramedic bloggers, as they seem to specialise in publishing from the web. There could be copyright problems with this for the same reasons as the store, though. Anyone know a lawyer we can ask?

Any volunteers for any of this stuff? I'll give you a tasty IP-flavoured cookie. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 86.138.124.149 (talk • contribs)

*time passes*

*wind blows across the prairie*

...Hey, you know what, fuck it. Let's be a little writing collective. It's nicer that way.  :) – Preceding unsigned comment added by 86.138.124.149 (talk • contribs)

Spang is on the Store, and the book is potentially doable if the task can be at least partly automated (there are Word to Wiki thingies, and PDF to Wiki thingies, but are there thingies to reversificate this process?). As for Wikipedia's page, no one on Wikipedia is funny. Not one! Screw them, and their "facts". Pbbt! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:36, 29 April 2008 (UTC)

On the subject of license and copywrite, does this mean I can't walk around with a Fisher Price t-shirt? Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 23:47, 29 April 2008 (UTC)

Sure you can, as long as you're not making money from it. And I'm working on the store thing, might take a while. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 07:41, 30 Apr 2008

I've done some hatchet work on the Wikipedia article. I'll do some more if I can be arsed. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 07:44, 30 April 2008 (UTC)

go eat shit, fucker. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:15, Apr 30

WOAH WHAT THE HELL

Stuff actually happening on Uncyclopedia? No. Way. I must be hallucinating. I'm going to prescribe myself slightly less strong medication from now on. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:42 Apr 29, 2008

Blame me.

Blame me. I haven't been getting on lately so traffic and the number of people who like Uncyclopedia has gone down. Gangsta rap made me do it. And cartoons. And video games. And whatever else the media likes to blame for no reason. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:21, 30 April 2008 (UTC)