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Welcome To Vogonopedia,

41,102 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

Beginner's Guide to the Galaxy · Contents · Style · ??? · Poem Help · Help Save Earth

Vogon Categories · Poems! · A–Z index

Featured Vogon Poem

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Gashee morphousite

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More...

Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada

Yesterday's featured poem

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Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly,

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More...

Vogon Trivia

  • ...That mattresses can be harvested all the year long except during their mating season?
  • ...That the spice will flow ONLY if form as/psd45/434/ will be filled thrice, sent, lost, buried, burned, found again and lost once more?
  • ...That mattresses can be harvested all the year long except during their mating season?
  • ...That the spice will flow ONLY if form as/psd45/434/ will be filled thrice, sent, lost, buried, burned, found again and lost once more?
  • ...That mattresses can be harvested all the year long except during their mating season?
  • ...That the spice will flow ONLY if form as/psd45/434/ will be filled thrice, sent, lost, buried, burned, found again and lost once more?

Constructor Fleet Headlines

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Too bad you can't customize this in the original.

Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein Files

Recent deaths: The MetroCardStranger Thingsthe other Black guy from John Carpenter's The ThingBob WeirScott AdamsKianna UnderwoodBuffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenureDenver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons • UncyclopediaCatherine O'HaraLamont

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton)

On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

Imma fish bitch blub blub motherfucker.

February 4: Nobody Does Anything Interesting Day

  • 220 AD - Emperor Cao Cao of the Han Dynasty, knowing the end is near, has the imperial chef make him his favorite sandwich.
  • 1142 - Starving peasants in medieval Germany continue to starve.
  • 1877 - Charles Dickens has severe constipation, contemplates going to the doctor.
  • 1943 - Hitler finds some time out of his day to play with his dog Blondi.
  • 1968 - Lyndon B. Johnson drinks some really bad coffee, tells his wife.
  • 1977 - Eric Clapton orders a tuna sandwich from the deli but is given egg salad instead, doesn't notice until he gets home.
  • 2004 - Mark Zuckerberg invents the Facebook status, now people can be uninteresting whenever they want.
  • 2008 - Parliament forces non-electric cars to drive in a place that is not in London.
  • 2017 - Mike in HR spreads butter on a burnt piece of toast on purpose. Many speculate him to be completely batshit insane.

Today's featured picture

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The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair

Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
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Recent Poems


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Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month

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A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.


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This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.


Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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