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Welcome To Vogonopedia,

40,979 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

Beginner's Guide to the Galaxy · Contents · Style · ??? · Poem Help · Help Save Earth

Vogon Categories · Poems! · A–Z index

Featured Vogon Poem

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Gashee morphousite

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More...

Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada

Yesterday's featured poem

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Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly,

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More...

Vogon Trivia

  • ...That you should share and enjoy?
  • ...That you should share and enjoy?
  • ...That you should share and enjoy?

Constructor Fleet Headlines

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Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Saturn AwardsChucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports

Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston, not the city, but the band, from the city • Chuck Norris doesn't die, he goes to Hell to regroup • BuffyXander HarrisRobert Mueller

Upcoming deaths: Dancin' MaduroIranMahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity

On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

Ah shit where'd I put that screwdriver?

March 24: International Do-It-Yourself Day

  • 1857 - Oscar Wilde pens his story The Soul of Man under Socialism while under something else.
  • 1943 - Jackson Pollock unveils his long-awaited third exhibition, featuring the classic Angsty Orange Tiger.
  • 1964 - The ping pong incident occurs at my high school, and will torment me for over forty years until my son avenges me.
  • 1991 - The first child is admitted to the hospital for Phonics addiction in the beginning of a nation-wide pandemic, resulting in thousands of kids becoming 'hooked'.
  • 1994 - Kitty porn makes its first appearance on the primitive internet.
  • 2007 - The first human trials of Neuroipods suffer drawbacks when a vast majority of test subjects contract iEllepsy.
  • 2010 - Sarah Palin kicks off the first annual Alaskan Sasquatch Appreciation Day.

Today's featured picture

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The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair

Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
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Recent Poems


More recent poems | Most wanted poems | Requested poems | Add to stubs | Lonely poems | Poetry Review | Try writing a poem about... | Stuck stanzas

Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month

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A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.


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This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.


Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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