1983

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This page is a member of the Uncyclopedia Timeline. If an event isn't listed in the timeline, it most likely happened.

Represented here are the time periods from January to December 1983.



The year of our lord 1983 served as a prequel to the well known Nineteen Eighty-Four and sequel to the obscure 1982. Starting on a Saturday, many children began the year watching Saturday morning cartoons and many Jews began the year resting; things did not get much better for 1983 after that.

1983 in the World[edit | edit source]

1983 is when the Apple computer was released.

February[edit | edit source]

March[edit | edit source]

April[edit | edit source]

May[edit | edit source]

  • May 4 - The Hitler Diaries are published, revealing the late dictator's "totally huge crush" on Heinrich Himmler

June[edit | edit source]

  • June 13 - Pioneer 10 leaves the solar system, transmitting its final message, "So long, suckers!"
  • June 18 - Sally Ride becomes the first American Woman in space; men around the world collectively decry the end of the last place they had left to get away from their wives.

July[edit | edit source]

  • July 15 - The Nintendo Entertainment System goes on sale in Japan and the world is never the same again.
  • July 21 - The lowest temperature on earth is recorded in Vostok Station, Antarctica with −89.2 °C (−128.6 °F), dry ice forms spontaneously and scientists refer to the measurement as, "Really God-damned, fucking cold! I mean, seriously, for fuck's sake it's cold!"

August[edit | edit source]

  • August 30 - Guion Bluford becomes the first African-American in space; white men, still reeling from having lost space to women, throw up their arms in defeat before going to their rooms to sulk.

September[edit | edit source]

  • September 5 - NBC appoints Tom Brokaw King of Television.
  • September 27 - GNU Project founded; Richard Stallman appoints self God-emperor of free software but everyone continues to think of him as a pudgy nerd with poor hygiene.

October[edit | edit source]

  • October 21 - At the 17th General Conference on Weights and Measures, scientists finally figure out how long a meter is; the metric system is no longer complete bunk.
  • October 25 - Microsoft releases the Word; having regained the Logos, God is able to return to work.

November[edit | edit source]

December[edit | edit source]

Undated[edit | edit source]

  • The D.A.R.E. program begins teaching students how to responsibly identify which drugs they will most enjoy.
  • Due to an ongoing DEA investigation, Doc Brown is forced to shut down production of his time machine.