Weed Glade

Weed Glade is located somewhere inside the circled sections

Weed Glade, North Carolina is a town located in North Carolina. Its specific location is hard to determine, but we know for sure that it is somewhere in the mountains, surrounded by impenetrable forests and rugged mountains. There are 84 residents as of 2021. It's mostly know for its associations with marijuana and the famous whorehouse called "The Chick Chick Farm".

Origins

Sabrina Spellman and Harvey Kinkle in 1964

Weed Glade was founded by a group of hippies led by Sabrina Spellman and Harvey Kinkle back in 1964. The exact day of its founding was not noted because Doris F., who was in charge of writing the town's chronicle, got high and forgot which day it was. Since others were also high, nobody really knows which day it was. They chose the town's location because it was near nature and isolated from civilization. According to the chronicle, back in the '60s, everyone was pretty lazy, spending all their time living in harmony with nature, foraging for magical herbs in forests, singing songs, participating in casual sex, and engaging in esoteric rituals. They also grew and consumed weed and other crops and raised animals in harmony with nature.

The chronicle also documents the origins of the wild chicken population living in the forests near Weed Glade. According to them, in 1966, a huge flock of chickens, which became the basis of today’s population, escaped from a local farm because a young hippie farmer named Justin J. T., who was supposed to take care of them, got high and spontaneously engaged in sexual activities with two of his friends, blonde twins Addison and Madison, who were also high.

Geography and Climate

There are many natural wonders near Weed Glade, such as a lake called Glory Hole, which has sandy beaches and electrically blue water. Due to its location, the town and its immediate surroundings have a specific microclimate, causing the summers to be pretty warm and long, with enough rain to keep the surrounding forests lush and impenetrable. On the other hand, during the winter season, there are always freezing temperatures, and a white powdery substance starts falling in early December. If you manage to visit Weed Glade during December, you will be greeted with the aesthetics of Santa’s village since all the local residents take both Christmas and Santa Claus very seriously, and the cold and snowy weather creates a true winter wonderland. Due to its remote location, cellular reception is still pretty poor.

The Present

The legacy of the town's origins can still be seen today. They are still pretty much isolated, living in harmony with nature. Local teenagers embrace the hippie legacy, and weed is the favorite crop in town. Over many years of inbreeding, the town's residents, including the youngest residents, have become very conservative. They still promote love and peace between all living creatures, with only two exceptions: Democrats and BLGT people. Nobody really knows how it all started, but the entire population of Weed Glade is biased against these people, on the grounds that the BLGT Community and the Democratic Party have become the primary hotbeds of dangerous ideologies created by psychologically deranged people. Unlike most conservatives, however, they promote a peaceful way of countering these ideologies.

Establishments

• Pines General Store: Owned by Cameron and Dorothy Pines, it sells everything local residents need
• Fortune Teller Attic: Owned by Cassandra Destiny Jackson, who shares her visions in her "office" located in the attic of the Pines General Store
• Telephone Booth: Located on Main Street, it serves as the sole means of communication between the town and the outside world
• Library: Provides books to citizens on a unique first-come-first-serve loan-out basis and serves as the main source of information
• Hilda's: A pub that sells food and beverages
• The Chick Chick Farm: Owned by Miss Nancy (formerly a chicken farm, now a whorehouse)

Politics

The town is led by Mayor Doris “Diamond” Fletcher, who was first elected to this position back in 1968 when she was just seventeen years old. She is beloved by everyone, and in the past few decades, she has received 101% of the votes in all elections. The town's council consists of Chase Anderson, Cameron and Dorothy Pines, and Mike Jackson, who were elected to their positions in 2016.

Decision making

In order to make a decision, the majority of the town's council must agree on it. The mayor is also part of the council and has three votes, while other two members have only one each. The process of decision-making usually involves smoking weed. Due to a law from 1966, a decision can come into force only if at least 3/4 of council members were high during the final voting. This, along with the fact that when the town was established, they copied the Lawbook of Javenlinn, which dates back to the Salem Witch Trials, contributes to a unique set of laws that are valid in the town.

Local youth

Local teenagers and young adults admire the legacy of the hippie community by spending their free time living in harmony with nature, foraging for magical herbs and wild weed in forests, singing old Beatles songs, and participating in casual sexual activities and esoteric rituals. Every evening, they sit by a campfire on the beach and talk with each other. Especially the girls periodically visit the library. According to the librarian, the most popular books among them are the Kama Sutra and J. F. Thatcher’s Bible of Esoterica, Fortune Telling, and Nonconventional Drugs. They have a truly free and somewhat rebellious spirit, but they share conservative opinions with their parents.

Connections with the Outside World

Due to its location and local mentality, Weed Glade is quite isolated, and local folks usually only leave the town for the annual farmer markets, which are held in Hill Valley, a relatively large town about an hour north of Weed Glade. When necessary, citizens can use the phone booth for long-distance calls. The town used to be periodically visited by door-to-door salespersons, but door-to-door selling was banned in 1984, punishable by three hours of public pillorying. Nowadays, most of the town's visitors are men who come to visit the Chick Chick Farm.

Notable Residents

Doris "Diamond" Fletcher

Doris "Diamond" Fletcher (R), born on May 5, 1951, is the current Mayor of Weed Glade. She has held this position since 1968, when Sabrina Spellman resigned from the position after it was revealed that she used $50 bills embezzled from the town's funds to roll joints. On May 5, 1981, Doris received her first Weed Glade "Annual Community Award for Economic Growth" Award for her economic contributions to the town. She has received this award every year since, with the sole exception of 2005, when it was given to Miss Nancy for the economic growth her business brought to the town. Doris earned her nickname "Diamond" in 1979 after she enacted a set of laws called "The Diamond '80s", which brought prosperity to the town for the next decade. Despite her age, she remains very active and vital in politics.

Miss Nancy Drew Humpcock (PhD, DBA, Th.D., ScD, DProf, DSocSci)

Miss Nancy Drew Humpcock (PhD, DBA, Th.D., ScD, DProf, DSocSci) (commonly known as Miss Nancy) was born on February 30, 1953, in Gilbert, Texas. She is by far the wealthiest resident of the town, a kindhearted philanthropist, and the owner of The Chick Chick Farm, a successful whorehouse located 0.02 miles west of the center of Weed Glade. She possesses an IQ of 7245, which enabled her to complete her studies at Harvard University when she was just 19 years old. Despite her intelligence and qualifications, she always fantasized about being the chief Madame of a whorehouse. So, when she had the opportunity to purchase a bankrupt poultry farm in Weed Glade, she obtained a $200,000 loan and transformed the farm into the best little whorehouse in North Carolina. She hired the finest girls from around the United States and paid for national TV adverts. After two weeks of service, she finally paid off the loan. In 2005, she received Weed Glade's "Annual Community Award for Economic Growth" for the economic growth her business brought to the town. Nowadays, she holds the position of Chick Chick Farm's chief Madame and usually does not engage in sexual activities with clients, with the only exception being famous celebrities like Donald Trump, Bill Gates, or Leonardo DiCaprio.

See also

• Hippies
• Weed