User talk:Nickwalnut

Welcome!

Hello, Nickwalnut, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome!  --~ sin($) ^tan(€) 07:20, 25 July 2006 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

Your first article was a good start. thanks for your contribution, and I don't mean that sperm sample you're holding there either. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:57, 9 January 2007 (UTC)

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Nickwalnut, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

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You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

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If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

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If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

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At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Gut Check!

Bile Sluggish? Can't Fight the Feelin' Anymore? Prettiestpretty thanks for your vote on VFH UnNews:Homeland Security administration declares new "Gut Feeling" threat level

Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:31, 22 July 2007 (UTC)

NickWalnut

Is that really you? -- Mr. Lavrenti "Digits" Hex 11:13, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

It is I.
Nickwalnut you greek fool! welcome! I promise to stop huffing glass soon. I'll see you tomorrow!-- Mr. Lavrenti "Digits" Hex 11:24, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

Trent! Have you replaced the lightbulb yet? PS - How are you really?

Yes I replaced the bulb, and I'm much better. This is probably the last day off coughing up weird mucus for a while... Didn't want to share the AIDS/Whatever this is so I thought I'd Play it safe.

As For Uncyc

1. Go on the IRC channel [1]
2. Read All the stuff from MoneySign's Welcome
3. Don't Piss of admins
4. get a sig and sign EVERYTHING
5. Don't be a Dick (It's one of the rules)
6. Get someone to show you the ropes of the cool WikiShit they got here
7. Don't be afraid t bother me or other people for help
8. Actually right funny shit
9. Don't use heaps of lists (Yes Yes I know the irony of telling you that in a list)

And vote for this, RAHB made it, and he's an awesome guy (also an admin). Mr. Lavrenti "Digits" Hex 02:29, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

Yes, I went through all that initiation crap a long while ago...

VOTE FOR THE DAMN IMAGE
And I was still coughing up black stuff today -- Mr. Lavrenti "Digits" Hex 09:56, 14 August 2008 (UTC)