User talk:BobNewbie/Archive 1

THE AWFUL!

Archive A

Welcome!

Hello, BobNewbie, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

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At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:BobNewbie/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  --~  15:04, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Lesson One

Read all the links in the welcome thing I left on your talk page. --~  20:53, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

You did? That's good. When I came here I didn't read any of these links but reading them is not a waste of time. Anyway, lesson two. Write an article or help me with this but don't put any slut jokes. Or write an UnNews. --~  14:02, March 11, 2011 (UTC)

He did; see below. Mimo: Beanie Baby is on VFD. I've rewritten the intro and Section 1--You'll recognize the photo. The rest is for you to fix. Spıke ¬ 14:33 11-Mar-11

So....done with that. On to lesson 3 now? ---I have a talking zombie 13:10, March 13, 2011 (UTC)

Ask SPIKE about the lesson three. --~  16:00, March 13, 2011 (UTC)

SPIKE.....? ---I have a talking zombie 16:29, March 13, 2011 (UTC)

The UnNews guy? With the blue box in his sig? --~  16:46, March 13, 2011 (UTC)

1. I happen to be watching this page, as our recent conversations weren't long ago; I will not always be doing so, so a better way to contact me than put a comment on your page, EVEN WITH CAPITAL LETTERS IN THE CHANGE SUMMARY, is to click on the squiggle in my signature and use my talk page.
2. To answer the question apparently at hand: Mimo doesn't know what the Hell he's talking about. The lessons aren't numbered. Spıke ¬ 16:50 13-Mar-11

Are they ever numbered? Also, okay. But I was sure you'll see this. Apparently, I was right. \:D/ ---I have a talking zombie 17:00, March 13, 2011 (UTC)

You were right. But you were not right to be sure. (I sound like Donald Rumsfeld.) Separately, I'm not into the infinite indent thing because I have a relatively small PC screen. Spıke ¬ 17:10 13-Mar-11

Me neither, actually. ---I have a talking zombie 17:17, March 13, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Kim Kardashian and George Lucas reveal plans for new sitcom

Thank you for your UnNews. It is not so bad as to be returned to your userspace for rework, but not so good as to be featured on the Front Page. The only humor I can see is to call Kardashian a slut, which is pretty trite. (Also to call Lucas a slut, which is bizarre.) It mostly drops famous names, like Tiger Woods--that is, memes--in place of joking. It is not based on current news, doesn't especially read like news, and what happens in the story doesn't relate to anything that's happening in real life. In technical terms, the dateline is not the way we do them, and the Sources section is missing. These fine points are in our brilliant Style Guide. I hope you will read it, cover to cover, and come back soon. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 20:53 8-Mar-11

Don't be

discouraged. I think my first three pages actually got deleted. I didn't come back for 6 months and then Romartus said kind things about something I knocked up in fifteen minutes, since when I've wasted countless days inventing streams of bullshit for my own entertainment. And there are generally people around who'll look over an article if you ask. --Sog1970 21:50, March 9, 2011 (UTC)

A buck

Because I Give a Buck

This token of appreciation has been given to
BobNewbie
for
Voting Local grandmother finally uses printer for VFH

That Bucker ~ 04:25, March 11, 2011 (UTC)

---

And don't forget to send me the link to that article when you're finished with it ~  Talk 04:25, March 11, 2011 (UTC)

Hey

Here's the Copypasta in all it's glory:

---

ONCE A YOUNG BOY WAS WITH A FRIEND WHEN THE PHONE RANG THE VOICE SEZ IT WAS FRIENDS FATHER AND SEZ TO MEE HIM IN TEH FOREST THE BOY AGREES THEN HE TELLS FRIEND AND FREND SEZ MY DAD IS DED, THEN WHO WAS PHONE!!! LATER HE GO 2 FOREST TO MEET DAD AND WAIT FOR HOURS WHEN SUDDENLY A SKELETON POPPED OUT, HE RAN SCREAMING AND THEN HE SAW ZALGO ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉ ҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ZA ~ L G ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Z̙̜̝̞̟̠# O҉ AND THEN HE SAW SMILE DOG, AND THEN HE WAS HOME

THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT BOY IS YOU!!!(OR HE WAS A GIRL IF YOU ARE A GIRL) AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED.

AND THEN HE WAS WITNESS TO LA MUERTA BLANCA AND SAID CANDLEJACK AND WAS KIDNAADFO899

WITNE

---

I hope you enjoy the lulz! - LOL vandalz

I enjoyed that so much! I'm lolling like crazy! That completely changed my sexuality and perspective on comedy. OMG I CAN WALK! ---I have a talking zombie 13:09, March 14, 2011 (UTC)

HAHA

There's a tomato in your talk page! --~  19:15, March 14, 2011 (UTC)

Really? Get it off! Get it off! =P ---I have a talking zombie 19:19, March 14, 2011 (UTC)

I CAN'T! IT GOT STUCK!!!! OMG!!! --~  19:25, March 14, 2011 (UTC)

Pop the little bugger and run! ---I have a talking zombie 19:26, March 14, 2011 (UTC)

Is this any good?

Hello, BobNewbie. I have recently created an article called "LOLcode". Could you please pee review it or suggest improvements? It's probably bog-standard but I would like help on where I can make it more humerus. Thanks. - LOL vandalz 13:32, March 19, 2011 (UTC)

Hey! Look what you got!

Another n00b has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

- LOL vandalz 17:00, March 19, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks du...*car runs over Bob* ---I have a talking zombie 17:00, March 19, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the piss

I just read your pee review, and it helped. I'll see what I can do with it and all. When I'm done editing it I'll drop you a line and see what you think. Again, thanks. -- 17:20, March 19, 2011 (UTC)