User:Otako

Otako is an 18 year old cockasian caucasian male in the strange region of New Mexico, where we stole land from the Mexicans where it never rains. He enjoys long walks on the barren miles of sand. He once found a beautiful oasis in the middle of nowhere, but he was tripping so bad that he's not sure it exists, let alone where it is.

Otako

Otako's Home

This blows

Otako lives in a small, adobe-covered building called a pueblow. This device was invented by the Indians because those damn teepeas kept tearing in the wind. Otako loves the desert, as cool temperatures, trees, and animals other than rattlesnakes scare him. He was once bitten by a rattlesnake, but sucked the poison out of his veins and killed the snake by tying it into a bow tie around his neck. Unfortunately, he was an idiot, and left it there when he went to bed, and its friend tried to kill him with a coat hangar.

Otako's Favorite Movies

Otako likes extremely old movies, as there are no DVD players or movie theaters in New Mexico. He has never seen a movie newer than 1974,when some poor soul got lost trying to get from California to Florida. This is strange, as there are many HDTVs in New Mexico, and they all have Direct TV connections that have HBO. Thus, this sad excuse for a human has never seen the matrix, or even star whores.His actual favorite movie is Fiddler on the Roof, as he has always wanted a fiddle.

Otako's Favorite Shows

Stupid whore

Otako likes anime of all ways, shapes, and forms. He was once shown an episode of Yu Yu Hakusho and liked it. He also likes Code Geass, because he does not require a good plot to like a show. He likes Lie to Me, because he wants to learn how to lie, and he likes Oprah, because he likes making racial slurrs at the TV. He thinks that Oprah is a fat, ugly whore. He hates her mostly because she does not cover her face. Where he lives, women are not allowed to show their face, or even go to town on their own. Or at all.

Otako's Death

Otako will die in February of 2019, due to it raining on his birthday, the 7th. When the first drop of rain hits him, he will melt due to the fact that he thinks that rain is acid sent by god to punish infidels.

Core Beliefs

Sorry, the funny stopped, and it's time to be serious now.

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

This user has found Jesus, and is therefore no longer a threat to society.

4:20

This user likes to smoke cannabis .

4:20

Typo G

This user does not speak Typo and furthermore believes it to be an embarassment to language. This user desires the genocide of all Typo speakers.

Typo G

Oh, wait, FUCK THAT.

This user rejects the theory of global warming , or at least thinks it's someone else's problem.

This user is fascinated by chaos theory. They probably don't realize how apocalyptic the word 'chaos' sounds: bring on the carnage!

BS

This userpage is bullshit.

BS

usbx

This user likes to use userboxes.

usbx

This user is a bit of a pyromaniac.

MS-P

This ****ing ****er ****ing well speaks their ****ing mind all the g*******d time, ya j******.

MS-P

This user reserves the right to completely screw up their edits life by spending too much time on Uncyclopedia.

LENT

This user would give up Uncyclopedia for Lent if they weren't a serial rapist.

LENT

MEH

This user redefines lazy!

MEH

This user has no featured articles. They are a failure. Feel free to point and laugh.

This user's IQ is over 132.

This user is a paladin . Hide your demons and undead.

This user needs a steady supply of Caffeine. So hand it over . . . NOW. (List of users who NEED caffeine)

BK

This user is a Black Knight!!

BK

\m/

I am a metalhead; I wear offensive shirts, I headbang to really loud music. I have long hair, but am not a hippie.

\m/

This user surfs the interweb with Opera , but is above petty musicals. Crack on.

sa-N

This user is a native speaker of Sarcasm.

sa-N

al-G

This user does not speak the Ancient Language and believes it to be an embarrassment to language. Furthermore, this user desires the genocide of all the Ancient Language speakers.

al-G

bl-X

This user only speaks Blasphemy enough to seduce native Blasphemy speakers .

bl-X

wr-N

This user is a native speaker of Write-only.

wr-N

This user is a member of the Anti Kitten Huffing Movement.