User:Orangutang94/sandbox

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You are in Heaven

Ideas for Patrick Mahomes' page

• Kermit voice
• Ketchup
• Anything else?
• State Farm
• Normal prose for "article"... or... write from the POV of his crazy brother Jackson (we can also list him and Pat's wife Brittany as the KC Chiefs' "cheerleaders")
• Pulling out bullshit from thin air. Might also be appropriate for Josh Allen, Aaron Rodgers, Russell Wilson

Ideas for a potential Jon Gruden page

• Get that red-faced/sunburnt picture from Deadspin as his infobox picture.
• Lampoon Spider 2 Y Banana somehow
• Lol Petermeme
• Monday Night Football?
• His getting cancelled after they found his meany mcpoopy pants emails.

Ideas for Ryan Fitzpatrick's page

• He's a conman alright. An experienced, professional thief and sneaky conman
• Harvard guy... so anything to do with the movie 21?
• Find a way to incorporate his sunglasses pic from Tampa Bay and/or his shirtless in Buffalo at -10 degrees picture
• Fitzmagic, Fitztragic, Fitzception

Ideas for Joe Burrow's page

• Joe Brrr/Joe Cool 2.0 is so emotionless and deadly he might be a Replicant.
• Tom Brady, in his retirement, thinks so and has become a blade runner in his retirement. (He's just really jealous of Mahomes, Allen, and Burrow)
  • Plot twist - Burrow is a replicant (inspired by Ryan Gosling's character from Blade Runner 2049), but the NFL doesn't care. Brady, however, is a obsolete replicant that should have been "retired" a long time ago.

Ideas for Raiders page

• JaFatasss Russell
• Fast receivers
  • Fast breakaway criminals
• Vegas, baby!

DC Comics

• Make a page on DCEU versions of characters such as Superman (Cavill's version), Batfleck, WonderGal, and Jason Momoa's Aquaman?
• Or maybe just one DCEU page with those characters? Also reinforce the public's stereotypes about them. (done. brief paragraphs on the characters above)
• Josstice vs Snyder (done)

Halo TV Series

• Angry German Kid reviews the show:
  • Flips out when Chief takes off helmet, armor, and then becomes "Master Cheeks"
  • Flips out at Kwan's character
  • Flips out at Cortana's promo, then cheers
  • Cheers at episode 5's action
  • Flips out and breaks TV, keyboard, screen when Chief shows emotion
  • Interrupted by a "unbiased" reviewer, who says it's okay.
  • Dies when Master Cheeks bangs the Covenant girl, then switch over to non-biased reviewer

Keep in mind

• How to be funny and not just stupid

TESTING GROUNDS

Orangutang94 was here

Franklin Delano Roosevelt
No image
Personal info
Nationality	Mythological Figure/Demigod
Date of birth	Murica
Place of birth	Murica
Date of death	Never!
Place of death	Upstate New York (purportedly)
First Lady	Elanor
Political career
Order	33rd President of United States
Vice President	6 guys not named Harry Truman, then Truman
Prime Minister	n/a
Term of office	14 January, 1933–9 April, 1945, actually forever
Preceded by	Herbert the Hoover
Succeeded by	Bomb man
Political party	Commy party when it was cool
Penis nickname	Willy on Wheels

Part III: scamming the NFL

With Allen firmly taking the NFL by storm, other teams have attempted to mimic the Bills' luck by finding their "own Josh Allens", or rather big beefy quarterbacks with rocket arms, the ability to run over defenders, and deficiencies such as terrible accuracy and bone-headed decision-making. Former NFL coach Jon Gruden has observed that each of these teams have taken these "project quarterbacks" with the mindset that "just because Allen overcame his accuracy issues and intrusive thoughts, they think their guy can too!" In fact, some teams from the past have secretly visited the year 2020 after time travel was invented in 1982, observed Josh Allen, and gone back to their time in history to draft the guy who looked the most like Josh Allen.

Here's how each "Josh Allen clone" has panned out in the NFL thus far:

Year	Team	Quarterback selected	Verdict	Notes
1983	Denver Broncos	John Elway	SUCCESS: Elway is the true embodiment of Josh Allen. But then Allen is also the true embodiment of John Elway	The Broncos time-travelled from the year 1982 to 2020, took notes on Allen, went back in time, and correctly drafted Elway. Elway's college stats were terrible, like Allen Time paradox created from being the first instance of time-travel in the NFL, and also the "chicken-and-egg" question: "Did Elway copy Allen or did Allen copy Elway?"
1991	Indianapolis Colts	Jeff George	Modest failure: Jeff George is a failed second prototype of Josh Allen	Another time-travel instance in which the Colts travelled from the year 1990 to 2020, taking notes to be "ahead of their time". Despite having a physique similar to Allen, George failed in the NFL due to having a mentality similar to Jay Cutler but somehow dicked around in the league for a decade.
1992	Atlanta Falcons	Brett Favre	SUCCESS: Brett Favre is a successful third prototype of Josh Allen	The Falcons time-travelled from the year 1991 to 2020 After one year, they gave up on their experiment on Favre due to him sucking ass. Their loss, as the Packers claimed him. The rest is history. Brett Favre truly embodies Allen's "fuck it and chuck it" attitude, interceptions be damned, and vice versa. Favre won a Super Bowl though!
2003	Chicago Bears	Rex Grossman	Modest failure: Rex Grossman is a failed fourth prototype of Josh Allen
2004	Buffalo Bills	J. P. Losman	Failure: J. P. Losman is a misused Josh Allen prototype that was tried once, forgotten about, then left to rot in the refrigerator.	Bills owner Ralph Wilson time-travelled from the year 2003 to 2020 after witnessing the suckass horrors of Drew Bledsoe. Seeing a successful quarterback on the future version of his team, he considered kidnapping Allen and bringing him back to the year 2004, but due to being a cheapskate, returned home and drafted the guy who looked like Allen in the draft. Due to his dementia and cheap attitude, Wilson missed out on Ben Roethlisberger took the second-best guy that fit the criteria. Losman failed in the NFL due to his jabroni-ass coaches having no idea how to play him.
2007	Oakland Raiders	JaMarcus Russell	Epic failure: JaMarcus Russell is a street knockoff Josh Allen prototype laced with fentanyl and codeine syrup	Prior to the 2007 NFL season, Raiders owner Al Davis time-travelled to 2020, took notes on Allen, and went back to find the guy who looked the most like him. Davis actually tried to kidnap Allen and bring him back to the year 2007, but due to his hired guns blowing their cover, Davis was forced to abort the mission. Aside from the big arm and big body, Russell is nothing like Allen. He embodied Allen's fattest receiver, Kelvin Benjamin, instead.
2019	New York Giants	Daniel Jones	Modest failure: Daniel Jones is Dollar Tree-brand Josh Allen	First post-Allen draft pick on this list without the use of time travel Also known as "Danny Derps" Automatic tripping hazard after running for 80 yards. Don't ever call a QB Power from your own 10-yard line. Jones will trip well short of the goal line. Allen's former offensive coordinator Brian Daboll tried to run with Jones at QB after becoming the Giants' head coach. However, switching from Allen to Danny Derps is the equivalent of getting "buffalo wings" from a 1-star rated Buffalo Wild Wings after eating them at Gabriel's Gate your entire life. Or switching from Joe's Pizza in Brooklyn to Sbarro's or Little Caesars.
2021	San Francisco 49ers	Trey Lance	Epic failure: Trey Lance is Temu-knockoff Josh Allen. In fact, the package doesn't even read "Josh Allen", but rather "Jockstrap Allin"	Drafted after only one year of Division III football simply because he looked like a "black Josh Allen" and had godly stats against said DIII competition. Lance was so bad in the pros he was benched after two games in favor of Brock Purdy, AKA "I can't believe it's not Tom Brady"
2023	Indianapolis Colts	Anthony Richardson	Too early:	Richardson is essentially Trey Lance if he went to an SEC school. An athlete with a rating of "over 9000"
2023	Tennessee Titans	Will Levis	Epic failure: Will Levis is Bizarro-world-knockoff Josh Allen	Puts mayo in his coffee. Gross.. Tries to play hero-ball like Allen, but every time he does so, it's an epic, meme-worthy failure. Levis is essentially the embodiment of all of rookie Josh Allen's intrusive thoughts and none of the dumb luck.
2024	New England Patriots	Drake Maye	Too early/modest success: From early indications, Drake Maye is Amazon-brand Josh Allen. Not quite as good as the original, but serviceable.	Unable to beat Allen, the Patriots got their own version of him.

Ultimate verdict: your quarterback prospect is NOT Josh Allen, and will never be! Josh Allen is a once-in-a-lifetime prospect, your knockoff is most likely a jabroni, and YOU are a jabroni for thinking your jabroni is the "next Josh Allen". Stop trying to copy Josh Allen!