User:Krukclipsxcom/Apollo Justice
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“...Who?”
Apollo Justice, yet one more tool of the Capcom franchise, is a defense attorney based off of the Phoenix Wright series. He is characterized as being a slim, yet wimpy, 22 year old waste of space, who likes to reference his hair during his trials. Though he sucks at life itself, he cannot help but try to defend clients (very poorly). His trials always wind up going in his favor at the last second. He uses the powers of his "Chords of Steel" to scare his clients, the Prosecution, the Judge, the witnesses, his neighbors, and those people who rape Japanese schoolgirls in the back of alleyways, and his mom's bracelet, instead of doing drugs, in order to win his cases by traping his victims in a dysfunctional "universe," where the background is colorful, moving tyedye, and all you can notice is what kind of movement someone does during a testimony. Whether it be flipping through the pages of a book, moving your fingers in an awkward position, or jerking off, Justice will find what makes you tick and fuck you up. Literally.
Apollo Justice[edit | edit source]
Apollo Justice is a new attorney set as the main character of Phoenix Wright's new game Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney. His first case involves actually defending Phoenix Wright (oh how lucky) and proving his own boss's guilt. After these turn of events, Justice is basically Wright's bitch for the rest of the game. And "why is Apollo Justice defending Phoenix Wright" in this case?" you ask. Well, Phoenix Wright has lost his job to illegal immigrants. Why do you think Kristoph Gavin has such a funny accent? I rest my case.
A Basket Case of Characters[edit | edit source]
Phoenix Wright[edit | edit source]
One of the main characters, but finally not completely as relevant to the story! He serves as an under-cover poker maniac for the Borsche Bowle Club, a restaurant that is sure to remind all of the Soviets of home. He pretends to be able to play piano, so that he will be able to get a few dates since his main career went down the toilet.
Trucy Wright[edit | edit source]
Phoenix Wright's daughter, or so you thought. That's right, if you are surprised by this, then that means you just got the game. Congratulations, you lose. She is a magician, and can pull anything out of her panties. Wow, just think of what comes out of her vagina. What does she eat??
Kristoph Gavin[edit | edit source]
The best character of them all, Gavin is just one of many clones for a new Star Wars movie. He appears to have been the good guy from the start, but wait! Apollo Justice's supreme bracelet has discovered that he is actually bad! Uh-oh! Kristoph Gavin represents all of those fat, hairy and ugly guys you see in those new Japanese animes who wind up raping the school girls, though he is nothing of the sort. I must say, he is quite charming.
Klavier Gavin[edit | edit source]
Another clone, Klavier appears to be evil, but turns out good in the end. Wow, that hasn't been done before....at all....ever... Not only is he a prosecutor, but he is also the lead guitarist in his own band, The Gavineers. Not only that, but every one of the band members is actually some part of law enforcement. And if you think that isn't enough, they have a whole mess of security there. If that isn't some type of evil I don't know what is.
</Input_Other_Character%20s_Name_Here>[edit | edit source]
Look, it doesn't matter how much characters in this game there are. In fact, if you're so picky about this article not having any more characters listed, why don't you just add 'em in...
Yeah, that's right, I thought so...