The writer of this article has become hopelessly, helplessly stuck.
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Profile[edit | edit source]
Real Name: Gromitt
Age: 13.7bn years
Country of origin: Euthanasia
Species: Lepus Sapiens Gigantus
Favourite fictional character: Jesus
Uncyclopedia Account Password: Oscar_Wilde1
Credit Card type: Visa
Credit Card Number: 569251 256341257801
Credit Card Expiry Date 5/98
Mother's Maiden Name: Johnson
Prologue[edit | edit source]
People often ask me 'Gromitt! LOL, where's Wallace?', and I say 'Where's Wallace!? I nailed the bugger into a crate and dumped him in the canal for hiring out my room to a f***ing penguin dressed as a chicken!!!' But that isn't me
The picture on the left is me, during my conquest of New York. Yes, I am a giant fire-breathing rabbit, and apparently that means that I do not get a no-claim's bonus on my car insurance! Disgusting, I know. However, I am given a no-claim's bonus on my life insurance. I have a cult of worshippers, and I used to have a large gay following (however, I ducked round the corner and lost him). These worshippers see me as God, so when I destroyed New York in 2012 (see picture), the insurance companies refused to pay out, as it was an 'Act of God'. Flattered, I know, but I disagree with the insurance companies. If God were to strike someone down, it would be the insurance companies, not the victims of my vengeful smiting.
Anyway, as I tend to do when writing anything, I have gone off on a tangent. This is why I failed school, and am now unemployed, wasting my time destroying cities. I tried to get a job on the counter at Tesco's, but people weren't very keen on being served by a giant fire-breathing rabbit that had just torn down New York. Actually, I should say that people weren't too keen on being served by me although I had just torn down New York.