User:Fantastic Bastard

The Fantastic Bastard

Uncyclopedia:Babel

This user is a total UKer and knows how to spell but sounds funny on the telly. (British Uncyclopedians)

en-P This fucker speaks English heavily laced with profanity that would make a fucking asshole sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy. en-P

enl-X This user only speaks English, but Louder enough to seduce native English, but Louder speakers . enl-X

enr-E This user only speaks Engrish because it was a required course in school. enr-E

fh-4 This user speaks Fuckhead at a near-native level. fh-4

pe-0 This user does not understand Plain English (or understands it with considerable difficulties). pe-0

pika-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek Pikachu whif und estreemleh theuck akzent. pika-A

re-X This user only speaks Recondite English enough to seduce native Recondite English speakers . re-X

se-0 This user does not understand Simple English (or understands it with considerable difficulties). se-0

us-P This fucker speaks American English heavily laced with profanity that would make a fucking asshole sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy. us-P

uk-X This user only speaks Correct English enough to seduce native Correct English speakers . uk-X

vl-P This fucker speaks Valley girl heavily laced with profanity that would make a fucking asshole sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy. vl-P

ow-4 This user had once seen Oscar Wilde in a crowd from a distance and knows all his works and quotes by heart. ow-4

Please note the 'The' this is very important to your understanding of who The Fantastic Bastard is and why he is Infinitly important to you and your life.

The Fantastic Bastard (Sir The Fantastic Bastard) is from the Lake District, a small group of highly scenic planets in the British Isles Nebula. Located in a distant Galaxy just around the corner from the edge of the Universe.

Due to Increasing house prices and an influx of huge tourists from neighbouring star systems, many of the galaxies inhabitants decided to set up another nebula on the other side of the galaxy. The Fantastic Bastard led this glorious exodus.

The plan was to make a utopian society, one where intelligence, love and peace were valued above all things. Where great works of art, and glorious buildings would be erected. Unfortunately, as is the way with people from the British Isles Nebula, they lost interest halfway and landed on a little mudball rock of a planet and settled down.

The people decided that they would make the utopian society on this planet, and again The Fantastic Bastard led them in this endevour. Unfortunately this, again, seemed like too much bother. So instead they found a small Island on the planet and settled down there. For many years they tried to think about a name for their new home, but soon got bored and decided to name it after their old home. Again The Fantastic Bastard led them in this venture.

Eventually, after years of sitting around starting things then giving up, the people noticed other peoples popping up over the little blue planet (which they would name eventually, they meant to do it but forgot, the dog ate it, just leave us alone all right).

This was unacceptable, how dare they, we were here first, we've got pictures and everything. Finally the small nation decided to stamp out this problem and annihilate all other life on the planet, this they did for many hundreds of years. They had finally found something they were good at. And again The Fantastic Bastard was with them every step of the way.

Eventually however the old curse set in and they became bored and wandered home, they would frequently attempt to take over again but their hearts were never in it.

Now they mostly stay at home, eating pies and not finishing things.

The Fantastic Bastard has decided to spend the rest of his (so far suprisingly long) life telling the truth about the small island and the slightly bigger world.

If only he could get over the old curse and finally