User:Demonbob

This user is American …and unabashedly proud of it! (List of American Uncyclopedians) bu-3 This user speaks advanced Bullet and can fire rounds in short bursts.

ETP Help end hunger! Eat the poor! ETP This user fights against the squirrels and sporks conspiring to enslave the human species.

This user is a Mercenary, and chooses their own wars to fight in. This user is an evil clone of Emmzee.

♂ This user is a boy and is made of trucks, trains, and airplanes. ♂ This user is a paladin. Hide your demons and undead.

... This user would be a professional procrastinator, but they can't be bothered. ... This user is from Camelot, and eats ham and jam and spamalot!

This user plays bass, because it attracts groupies without the need for excessive rehearsal time. Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow meow meow! MEOW! Meow!

.sdrawkcab si resu sihT !degnellahc-yllatnoziroh TON si resu sihT :etoN This user uses Uncyclopedia as their primary point of reference.

usbx This user likes to use userboxes. usbx BS This userpage is bullshit. BS

This user fights against the squirrels and sporks conspiring to enslave the human species. This user is not and has never been Napoleon.

:o Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean? :o 1337 This user is elite. 1337

This user has attained a plane of asshattery previously thought unreachable and needs to be cockpunched immediately. This user is a jackass.

Certificate of Respiration is hereby granted to: Demonbob for his/her ability to breathe. --Uncyclopedia HowTo

Dem Articels

Portrait of a messiah

Jesus de Christo (pronounced Hey-Zeus), or, as his crew acknoledges him, Captain Jesus, is the leader of the pirate vessel, The Ark. Many pirates hail him as the High Seas Messiah, although most just go 'arr!' and get back to whatever they were doing before he happened to walk up to them.

Jesus de Christo was born to a poor Mexican family in Cuba. His mother, whose name was Mary Lopez was a virgin at the moment of birth. This fact has been disputed and proven wrong, as it turns out that Mary was a cheap drunk, and that she only believed herself a virgin. The bar that she often worked at believed otherwise.
One fateful night in a drunken stupor, she shacked up with a man named Gabriel. Nine months later, she took her leave from Cuba, shortly after being fired from the bar for gaining a distinctly noticable amount of weight. There, in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico, Jesus was born upon a deflated plastic raft.
When they landed in Florida, Mary met up with Gabriel, who had discovered that he had a son via Professor X's Cerebro technology. They moved to California, where Gabriel became a tire salesman and Mary, an erotic dancer. They were married and lived happily. (Read More...)

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Contributions

Old Page is here. I think this is much more prettiful. Construction Page is here.