Cheerios were invented by late scientist Heinrich Himmler in an attempt to create convienient pocket size warp holes. The result was a rather creative, and tasty snack. Unfortunately for Himmler, the experiment was a total failure, as the amount of energy required for the bite sized portal could only be produced when surrounded by an extreme amount of milk. As a result, Hitler dropped the project until the end of WWII. The name for Cheerios, is a fairly common misconception of the project's true name, Fearios.
In 1946, as part of a secret plan to suprise attack the American Government, Himmler calibrated the miniturized portals to bring in miniture bugs from the planet Htrae, who would ruin the internal organs of the American children. This plan ultimately failed, as a child named Little Jimmy brought a box of the little portals to the Hitler Youth, who were poisoned and promptly died. Upon hearing the news, Himmler, being the Emo that he was, slit his wrists.
(Read More...)
