User:Dark Paladin X/Dark Paladin's Sandbox 4
Pokémon is a very popular hit anime series for children and pedophiles. However, like all anime and all stuff from Japan, the FCC and the Republican party find some aspects of anime to be unacceptable. This is mostly due the fact that Pokémon promotes violence, blasphemy, Japanese tolerance to homosexuals, gang rape, rap and punk rock music, nudity, sex, masturbation, rape, more rape, cannibalism, decapitation, Chuck Norris's roundhouse kicks, use of heavy machine guns, references of death, swearing, and drugs. Of course, the Republican party hate us because we don't censor Pokémon enough (in addition to censoring the excessive use of the "n-word," which the Republican opposes any anti-discrimination laws, but we change the n-word to a friendlier version, "nincompoop.") As such, we, the FCC are here to make Pokémon "more child friendly" and we want children to enjoy the show and have many angry fans turn for conservative radio. In fact, Japan expect viewers to be the age of 18 to watch Pokémon and the show has lots of inappropriate things for children. Due to the child-friendly nature of Pokémon, we try make Pokémon just for and made for children and remove all adult themes (like Japanese tolerance to gay people). You may be mad right now, but don't worry, it's for your own good. But on the other, we made Pokémon much better with some very talented and horrible voice actors.
Banned episodes of Pokémon[edit | edit source]
Pokémon have at least over 500 episodes (where 99.99% of them are edited by us), however, there are some episodes that is very bad for you or the episode sucks in general due to homosexuals and could possibly kill you. Because of this, we, the FCC, remove these episodes out of rotations so you won't get really bad nightmares and have your eyes bleed out. Again, we are going to mention the banned episodes, and why we removed them. The FCC has recently been pressured by Christians to ban Pokémon and all anime other of America, or to the extent to heavier censorship and including voice actors who really suck.
This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Mr. Orange is the cop, Professor Xavier lives, the alien scum was distracting Duke Nukem all along while their real invasion force was moving in on Earth, Exdeath kills Galuf, Jesus comes back to life after three days, Captain America bequethed his shield to Stephen Colbert, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!
Beauty and the Beach[edit | edit source]
In this episode, Beauty and the Beach (アオプルコのきゅうじつ, Aopuruko no Kyūjitsu, known as Beauty and the Bitch), James wanted to imitate Britney Spears by putting on fake thingamajigs on his chest and boasted "OMG!! I'm Britney Spears and I'm sexier than you" to Misty and she cried. Later, thinking that James is Britney Spears, Ash comes out naked and have sex with him, only to find out that it's really James and had Pikachu electrocute him. We find this to be inappropriate and in response, we removed all pictures and references of James and all sexy appearance of girls , only to end up in a complete mess, so we decided to get rid of it (at least it's for your own good).
Another version of episode shows Brock revealing himself to be dumb and a bisexual and had sex with clones of Oprah and got himself drunk. Like Ash, he too had sex with James dressing up as Britney Spears (and we also deleted that as well). The purpose for all of this crazy is to make sure that hot people like Angelina Jolie, Paris Hilton, or the grossy Britney Spears appear in Pokemon and prevent them on making every girl into bitches.
On the other hand, we made sure that conservative parents don't sue us because of this episode. After all, we don't want people to embarrass themselves and run around naked.
The Legend of Dratini[edit | edit source]
"Miniryu no Densetsu" (ミニリュウのでんせつ or known as the Legend of the Blue Serpent of Doom) was on the most controversial episodes because lots of guns are used. Ash and his buddies went to the African Safari when the warden comes it and shot Pikachu with his Desert Eagle. In response, Brock punched the warden in the face and took the Desert Eagle for the keep. However, the warden brought an AK-47 and shot both Ash and Misty (luckily, ash, Pikachu, and Misty weren't killed there). Then Team Rocket (with Meowth dress up like Hitler) comes in and Meowth spammed his Glock pistol shouting "Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!!" Finally, Dratini came in and revived the warden and later arrested Ash and the gang for no reason.
We ban episode because the Columbine High School shooters watched this episode before going in the school and killed twelve random people and shot each other through the brains (as well posing naked with each other showing their penises). In order to ensure the safety, we simply removed it out of rotation so there won't be another school shooting again (although later the NRA, the National Rifle Association, a.k.a NAMBLA, or North American Man/Boy Love Association sued us afterwards). Sadly, even after the ban, some Canadian emo and Cho-sung guy watched this episode via YouTube and went on a rampage performing two more school shootings in Toronto and Virgina Tech respectively.
The ban, however, lead to storyline problems because this episode is where Ash captured 30 buffalos. Luckily, we a "child-friendly" episode on how Ash captured these buffalos, but we discontinued making the episode because it sucks are holding the episode on hitatus since 1999.
Pikachu Seizure[edit | edit source]
Apparently, this is one of the few infamous episodes that is banned worldwide. However, we did NOT, we repeat, did NOT ban this episode (In fact, we were never informed about this episode). Instead the Department of Health banned the episode mostly because reports of 700 seizures in Japan. Luckily, none of them died from the seizures, only ending up having brain damage because God is fucking pissed. Hopefully, you might able to understand that seizures can kill you completely and thus you won't able to watch new Pokemon episodes. Because of the seriousness of the Pikachu seizure, the episode is known as でんのうせんしポリゴン, or Pikachu seizure, in Japanese.
Remember kiddies, if you see flashing lights in your television screen, you would most likely to have brain damage. Please call 911 or die by flashing lights, Captain Obvious will say: "Seizures can kill you."
Holiday Hi-Jynx/The Ice Cave[edit | edit source]
The Christmas special "Holiday Hi-Jynx" (ルージュラのクリスマス or known as Santa's N*gger Bitches made itself to The Guinness Book of World Records for the "the highest number of N-words used in an anime episode." In this episode, Team Rocket attempts to destroy Christmas and give presents to bad children and active grenades to good children. This episode, however, was accidentally aired in the US and we never realize the excessive use of the N-word in the original Japanese version. We counted a total of over 65000 uses of the N-word. From all the characters in the episode: Brock used the n-word the most, at least 25,492 times (ironically, he's black), Misty used the word 666, Ash 4,823 times, Jesse 9,782 times, James 7,889 times, and Meowth used that word 5,555 times). Thus because of that, it entered the world records and we banned it completely. Another episode, "the Ice Cave" (氷の洞窟 or known as The Cave Where Sick People Go, also used the N-word a lot. Unlike Holiday Hi-Jynx, only one character used the new word 666 times, and that is Nurse Joy. And just to let you know, this episode have Pokemon and people getting AIDS and Brock was the first victim but he didn't die, just he has to force himself to virginity.
Reaction[edit | edit source]
Reaction to the Pokemon varies from different groups. The Jewish community found that Pokemon promotes Adolf Hitler because of a swastika in Holiday Hi-Hynx. Muslims highly enjoy this show. In fact, Saudi Arabia allow the Pokemon franchise to run, providing if you are dead already[1]. Christian people, particularly Jack Chick, Jack Thompson, and Ann Coulter, still find this show to be blasphemous even though the show is censored due to evolution.
The biggest reaction are from the fans of Pokemon and the cast themselves. Many fans find the disdain on the censorship , so the fans decided to play the Pokemon games and masturbate. When Ash this article, Ash (actually his clone, because he actually committed suicide) went crazy-go-nuts and attempted to rape his own Chimicar. Misty, a former cast member, was also mad, and attempted to sue us, even though it was an epic fail. Brock could care less ,since he already have sexy prostitutes in his own home. May, who already made her return as a special guest star, decided to become a communist because of the censorship. Dawn, was extremely pissed ticked off when her hotness was 100% censored when we added a wart into her face. As for the other cast members including the director, they committed seppeku.
To compensate with all the censorship, Chuck Norris will make his debut in the anime[2].