User:Bradaphraser/draft

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...and so shall it be that every Admin is presented with Shit-Wading Galoshes, a Banhammer, and an Industrial Strength HuffMaster 2000 upon inception to the order.

Bradaphraser is an uncyclopedia admin known for his run in with the Nazis, his time spent on IRC, and his extensive voting record at VFH.

Early Uncyclopedia days[edit | edit source]

In August of 2005, Bradaphraser came on to the scene with a dozen new articles that he'd written in an attempt to make a splash at the new satirical encyclopedia he'd found, Uncyclopedia. While over half of which would qualify for NRV Today, no such system was in place at that time, and thus a good many of his crappy articles survived admin deletion to this day. Probably his greatest work from this time period is his list of precious bodily fluids, which says a lot. He often contributed to in the news, his favorite feature of Uncyclopedia (the ability to edit the front page has since gone for the normal user :( ).

The "Red Shirt" Incident[edit | edit source]

In early December, 2005, Bradaphraser was disappointed in what he found to be an unnecessarily political featured article, Red Shirts. He found it hilarious until it decended into sharp poltical commentary, and wanted the article to be able to be found funny by people regardless of their politics. As the page was protected (which, at the time meants that only administrators could edit it), Bradaphraser left a message on the talk page trying to suggest how the ending could be softened a bit on its political criticism without removing the humor content. When the page was unprotected, he applied the changes, only to have them reverted. Bradaphraser left a message on the talk page wondering (as many n00b contributors do) why an article's original author has veto rights over any subsequent edits, even if they could, potentially, broaden the joke's appeal. The author (established administrator and multi-featured author KP), stated that the author of an article has creative control over their work. While Bradaphraser didn't see how that was congruous with a wiki editing spirit, it did make a lot of sense to him that, ultimately, the author controls his/her own work. Bradaphraser then accepted this explanation and allowed the work to stand.

Not content to let the issue drop entirely, however, Bradaphraser expressed his frustration over what he thought was an improvement over the featured article by writing "bitterness", an article in the style of subject and with intentionally exaggerated bitterness and whining. Within a day, the article had been found by administrators (specifically, KP, Famine, and Mhaille), and Bradaphraser had had his own work protected and his false, created persona mocked mercilessly for being so bitter. Bradaphraser took this as a significant compliment, as it meant he had succeeded in emulating the bitter, emo attitude that so many on the internet have, and laughed with the admins even as they attempted to drag his name through the mud. It was because they were, after all, not only acknowledging that his joke was funny, but also applying it further that he found so flattering. He had been roasted by the admins who, up to that point, had ignored his work except to delete the worst of it without review. This was the moment when Bradaphraser first felt that his work was being acknowledged, in a wierd way, and started the next phase of his contributions to Uncyclopedia, where he went from predominantly being a viewer to being a contributor.

The Crusade to get on VFH[edit | edit source]

On December 31, 2005, the Uncyclopedia world was still embroiled in the euroipods debate. The talk page had gotten so inflammatory on both sides that it had been nominated for featuring just on sheer humor content. Users were complaining that a tlk page should not be featured, and Bradaphraser had his idea. Why not repackage the talk page into an article, re-writing it so that it would be acceptable for everyone at VFH? It was, after all, great comedy material and should be on the front page, just to show how serous people can get over humor, which is a rather humorous contradiction. Well, he started with an introduction and some quotes from famous wars to put the rediculousness of the whole thing into perspective. This poorly repackaging of the euroipods talkpage was nommed to VFH by the time he'd woken up the next day. Unsure if it was good enough for VFH (which, apparently, someone thought that it was), Bradaphraser left it as is with a note on the talk page encouraging others to improve it as they deemed necessary. Unfortunately, the only feedback he recieved was in the form of against votes, some even saying they were voting against simply because it was a repackaged version of the Euroipods talk page, which discouraged Bradaphraser so much that he had difficulty improving it afterwards, as his entire goal from the start had been dismissed as a fool's errand.

While this effort failed on many levels, several important precedents were set. First, it was the start of Brad's significant contributions to VFH (where he made an effort to either give a thumbs-up or thumbs-down to every article there). Secondly, in searching for help editing his article, he stumbled into the IRC room, where he unwittingly became a part of the Cabal by freely giving his opinion on any and every subject. Finally, stumbling into the IRC room made him a greater part of the community by putting him in close contact with some of the important people at Uncyclopedia, including (and this is a VERY limited list) KT, RC, DG, Tompkins, and many, many others.

The Comedy of Errors[edit | edit source]

March 3, 2006, Bradaphraser entered the IRC chatroom and discovered several admins discussing a racist wiki, a concept that, to this day, he finds absolutely hilarious (how exactly do you spread a minority belief against the prevailing opinion of society if you let ANYONE edit your wiki?). Upon seeing this, Bradaphraser suggested that this wiki deserved vandalism more than any wiki he'd ever seen. At this point, he was pointed toward the wiki itself to see what vandalism had already taken place. He went there, found a link, and clicked on it, at which point several dozen pictures of goatse, along with an extremely loud wav proclaiming "Hey everyone! I'm looking at gay porn!" The fact that this was all over the Nazis' site would have amused Brad greatly if it wasn't happening to him at this very moment. Talking to others in the IRC room, it was suggested that Brad may have contracted a virus, at which point he ran virusscan which found nothing. Still unsure of his computers' well-being, he restored his hard drive to an earlier setting. THEN, he posted all the mistakes he'd made into QDb in an attempt to give SOMEONE some enjoyment out of his misery, with the exception of the one he was making at that moment. Unfortunately, QDb is on the internet, and, well, Nazis have a penchant for overreacting...

When it was all said and done, Bradaphraser had a special page (and even his own category, at the time) at the WNwiki, a new-found paranoia about being online, and his first featured article. In a way, it was ironic that his first featured article was created completely by accident, but in another way, it made a lot of sense. By this time, Bradaphraser's Uncyclopedia reputation was built on self-mortification and the human condition of acting much more stupid than he actually is.

Adminship, the reskin, and beyond[edit | edit source]

Quite by accident, Bradaphraser was made admin (mainly through my amiability over IRC, I think), and has used his power to (hopefully) make Uncyclopedia more user-friendly, especially at UnNews. For Poo Lit surprise, Bradaphraser wrote Yahoo!, which made reskin. Brad hopes to continue to be a major player at Uncyclopedia for years to come.

Notable works[edit | edit source]

italic articles were quasi-featured, bold articles were featured.

Less Notable works[edit | edit source]

See also[edit | edit source]