User:Acrolo/robotics
Robotics[edit | edit source]
Robotics from the old english words Rob "Robber" and Otics "Narcotics" refers to the study of the synchronicity of traffic lights. Until recent times people who sat in traffic on the way to work, simply used a common method for maintaining a calm balance and optimistic outlook on life at intersections reffered to as "dealing with it". The method includes swearing at anyone who pushes in, blowing on the hooter/horn and sometimes even ramming the culprit off the road. Special training software for this method is available for purchase called "Grand theft auto 4". Those few who choose not to use the common method are familiar with the study of robotics which was first discovered by Bonnie and Clyde after their fifth McDonalds robbery while evading the cops in 1934.
History[edit | edit source]
In whatever year long ago when inventors and stuff were all inventing stuff for other stuff, Dr I. M. Cruel invented the traffic lights in order to take over the world, please read the article on traffic lights for more information. In the years leading up to the estimated time when Bonnie and Clyde were robbing McDonalds, people simply followed the common method of "dealing with it" which also involves "getoutofmywayasshole" which was introduced by Dr I. M. Cruel's third cousin's, nephew's, uncle's, aunts, cousin's, brother's son, Bobicity Blowhole the current CEO of Rockstar Games, the software company who have been creating software training programs for the common method for better traffic and training young kids to develop their emotional intelligence through reasoning with gangsters, drug dealers and bad drivers and improving their eyesight and co-ordination through target and aiming practices for many years excluding easter and the pagan spring holiday, vernal equinox.
Bonnie and Clyde[edit | edit source]
In 1934ish or something, Bonnie and Clyde had just robbed their fifth Mcdonalds of all their Coca Cola when they were persued by the cops. They had just consumed alot of the coke, which is still mass-produced by Mcdonalds, when they were rudely stopped by red traffic lights. They managed to get away from the intersection without breaking the law, but were stopped once again at the following intersection by another set of red traffic lights. This carried on all the way down the road until the cops finally cought them and air-lifted them to a rehabilitation centre on a farm in Texas.
Rehab[edit | edit source]
While in rehab, Bonnie and Clyde met up with Soviet fighter pilot/ European pornstar, Lindsay Lohan who inspired them to become philosophers through her speeches given to young teenage girls about the properties of cocaine and how it can be used to remove unwanted nose cartilage without any surgery.
Inspired by her logic and creativity, Clyde recalled the traffic light event and after sharing a prescribed marijuana cigarette with Bob Marley which Bob had to recieve as treatment for his bipolar disorder, Clyde suggested that traffic lights had been programmed in order to stop cops at times when they are chasing robbers while allowing robbers to pass by making sure that each set of traffic lights turn either green/yellow while passing through them successively or ensuring that cops are stopped successively by red lights as they approach intersections with the exception that robbers yield to South African minibuses that have the right to pass through red traffic lights at any given time. Bonnie proved Clyde's robotics theory at an offroad derby in Mexico in 1999 when she beat Vin Deisel by driving through all the green traffic lights without stopping causing Vin Deisel to be stopped by traffic officials and pay a bribe of seven bumper stickers after driving through a red light to try and catch up.
Aftermath[edit | edit source]
After his evolutionary discovery, Clyde was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize after he named his theory "Robotics" which is a combination of his job title "Robber on Narcotics", but died a week later of a Coca Cola overdose. Bonnie died a year later in an accident involving a rusty butter knife and two water balloons.
Since then Rockstar Games has developed new training software which teaches people how to time traffic lights to ensure that they maintain their high speed and make it to the next traffic light on time. It is reported that this has caused an increase of 14% in minibus accidents globally, but an increase of 95% in Africa which has caused quite some stir because it's unfair that minibuses now have to sometimes stop at intersections, but everyone else is happy because theyre getting to work at least six minutes earlier than before in most countries which makes everything ok statistically.