Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews: Aliens invade UK Woman
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
UnNews: Aliens invade UK Woman[edit source]
I need this one pissed on. Can't upload pixes, due to copyright concerns. Alien Hunter 23:09, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
- Sorry Alien Hunter, I'm not going to be able to review this for about another two weeks, because something's come up in real life. I'm removing my pee template so that someone else will step in and take the review. I wish you good luck with the article, though! - [15:48 12 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise
- 'Tis mine. Back off! BlueYonder 20:07, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 2 | Sorry, mate, but...no. The whole thing seems to be based on one huge sexual joke about a woman having something in her clit. Honestly, man, even if you couldn't find that sort of joke at every other corner of the internet, it still wouldn't be funny. The article, very short even for an UnNews, seems to consist of three paragraphs repeating the same joke over and over. Come on, that's funny to no one. You can't expect an article to be of any sort of success unless you've based it around a set of original, thought-out, varying, intelligent jokes-which, in turn, should revolve around a solid subject. Hope I don't sound too harsh...just being honest. |
| Concept: | 3 | Uh...no, I'm sorry, but here, you've missed the mark too. A good UnNews-hell, any good Uncyclopedia article-is based around a solid and original subject (not a completely unoriginal one involving ancient jokes about sex and aliens that you pull out of the air at a random moment) that is properly thought out and developed (i.e. does not consist of three paragraphs centred around the same joke). In the case of UnNews, it needs to be a subject that reflects what might appear on a real news sight-and while aliens might fit into that category, they're completely overdone by now-besides which, you really haven't utilised even that idea very well (turning it into a repetetive sex joke). Sorry, but the concept also needs some serious work. |
| Prose and formatting: | 3 | Oh...come on, man! Look, one of the greater points of UnNews is that we try and make it look and sound like a real news site. The article doesn't match the layout for an UnNews report (see other reports for examples how it should be layed out), and the tone and prose doesn't match that of any sort of news or actuality report-it's just far too informal and conversational. To your credit, I can't find many spelling mistakes or grammar, but you really have to watch things like formality of tone even when it's not an UnNews report-nine times out of ten, a humourous article is much more pleasing to read when it has a formal and engaging tone. |
| Images: | 0 | I know you said you can't load them, but...what else can I do? It would make the article a fair bit more attractive (see above), and perhaps make it look a bit longer-and considering this is about aliens, I'm sure there must be plenty of appropriate images out there that aren't copyright protected, if that's the issue you're having. Sorry, but this is just the sort of UnNews that needs images, especially considering its current state. |
| Miscellaneous: | 2 | Averaged, as usual. |
| Final Score: | 10 | Please don't think me harsh, mate, I'm just doing my job. There really isn't a nice way to tell you that this is a bad job. Look, if you want to have a career here, you'll need to realise that you have to put a lot more work and thought into humour, subject and prose-articles shouldn't just be little things you dash off in five minutes without any real thought...you have to have put work into them before they have any actual hope of being successful. |
| Reviewer: | BlueYonder 21:05, 12 June 2008 (UTC) | |