-Maniac1075Complain Here 13:19, June 28, 2010 (UTC)
| Humour:
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3
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Taking notes here by section.
- Intro: Bleh. Emo-bashing is old, and I say this as a brightly dressed classical music and geek rock aficionado. I guess this is just a straight set-up for the rest of the article, but you could have a one-liner or two in there.
- NBA Jam: There's a problem with this section, and it's very simple. It's not satirical. It's completely factual, because I once paid £15000 at the arcade to see Michael Jordan. (Turned out to be a reskin of Shaq. Those Shaq-eared villains!) OK, I guess the real problem is that you don't get that much for the relatively extensive buildup, so a bit more satirical exposition might do the trick.
- Daytona: OK, I smiled. The OJ thing's getting a little old as fodder, but I'll pretend it isn't.
- Street Fighter II (because nobody knows where to buy the original anyway): Ewww... I'm not sure if that was funny or just shocking. I'm siding towards the latter, but you might want a second opinion since I'm not only a brightly dressed classical music and geek rock aficionado, I'm a stuck-up brightly dressed classical music and geek rock aficionado.
- WWF: Some nice subversions in here: a colloquial chant, an offering that does nothing but subscribe you to a magazine, etc. Made me smile, but not laugh because I didn't know whether I should be laughing. Darkly comedic.
- Zynga: ZYNGA IS THE MOST EVIL GAME COMPANY IN THE WORLD. Phew. OK, that's out of my system. To be honest, the gifts seem so ridiculous that it zoomed past funny and into funny looks, but that last line saved it for me. And again, maybe it's just me that finds the nonsensical only mildly funny.
- BTTF: Er, just weird. Nothing was particularly funny or satirical (beyond the classic Windows-bashing, and I say this as a stuck-up brightly dressed classical music and geek rock aficionado that loves both Windows 7 and Snow Leopard equally), just weird or vulgar. Also, GTA screenshot? Wha?
- Moonwalker: Too soon. Nah, it's not too soon, it's just really vulgar and unfunny. And weird. (And I say this as a stuck-up brightly dressed classical music and geek rock aficionado that loves both Windows 7 and Snow Leopard equally and thinks that Michael Jackson perhaps didn't have the cleanest of intentions.) I guess it might go under satire, and again, it might be just me being a stuck-up brightly etc etc.
- Hot Coffee: Okay, now you're talking. Starbucks bashing never gets old, by the way. Got a bit non-sequitur by the end, but still, good stuff here.
- MKII: That was kind of funny, if only because of the absurdity of those last two lines.
- Mario: Er, I'm pretty sure just putting a YouTube video in that section doesn't constitute satire.
Overall: definitely could be improved. More jokes, less nonsense for the sake of writing nonsense, more satire, less vulgar content (again, some may differ with me on what to tone down).
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| Concept:
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7
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The concept's not that bad, you know. We all love easter eggs—well, at least I do, obsessive prick that I am. It's just interesting to see what in-jokes get left over from development. And there's a sublime mixture of the fictional and the real here. It just needs to be executed more cleanly.
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| Prose and formatting:
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4
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Yeah, I understand the article needs proofreading, which is part of the reason for the mediocre score. But the formatting isn't half bad; variety of left-right image alignment, good use of sections and bullets, etc. I'm not so sure you need that mass media template, though. The article title's so long that it breaks the template anyway. Consider not having that template.
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| Images:
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6
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Pretty much no qualms beyond, you know, what I said about humour. Not being a gamer, I'm not sure what's original and what's not, which along with the content are the reasons for this score.
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| Miscellaneous:
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4
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Key points, to recap: execution, satire, YouTube copy-and-paste, sublime, has potential. Honestly I'm not the best person to ask about this article, since I haven't played any of these games, and I'm not sure who has either. You might want to ask around or in the forums ...
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| Final Score:
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24
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Keep up the work, and this surely will go up with it.
Yeah, that sentence makes no sense, if you were wondering.
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| Reviewer:
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               Sir MacMania GUN—[19:03 19 Jul 2010]
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-Maniac1075Complain Here 13:19, June 28, 2010 (UTC)
Sir MacMania GUN—[19:03 19 Jul 2010]