Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Tony Visconti
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Tony Visconti[edit source]
I'm hoping to get a feature, this is the best I've done, I'm hoping that with a few suggestions/criticism it could be made better, Thanks. --Sycamore (Talk) 17:33, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 7 | I like it, on the most part. The delivery of the entire piece is very good, and there isn't one particular section that is more or less funny than the rest. A couple of things that hurt you here are the list in the politics section, which will hurt you everywhere, as lists are not funny, ugly, and just generally unwanted around Uncyc; the other thing that hurts you here is that you go back and forth a bit, mentioning something then forgetting about it until much later in the article; this makes your jokes generally feel older than they should do. But overall, it's a good article humour-wise. |
| Concept: | 7 | It's a good concept, not a brilliant one, though it definitely works as you have proven. You have styled it and used headings in a way that supports the concept well, although that is pretty hard to muck up in a Wikipedia-style article to be honest). I'm not really sure if you can improve the concept; I certainly can't think how this could be expanded, as it feels just the right length at the moment, just finishing in the right spot. |
| Prose and formatting: | 4 | This is the main segment that concerns me. There are some notable spelling errors in there (country's -> countries twice in the Politics section), and your grammar seems to tend towards being one long run-off sentence (If that's what was intended, fine, otherwise it makes it very hard to read). The formatting is also a bit off, as everything seems clustered as if there's too much stuff there (images, en.wikipedia template and whatnot) at the top, making it hard to follow what's going on. |
| Images: | 8 | They are all good images, especially the one in the band template. However, I would move one of the three top images (as well as {{wikipedia}}) down somewhat to avoid the aforementioned clutter. I especially like your captions, they are informative, witty, descriptive, and give a good impression of the article. Overall, this section is very good, just ordered a bit off.
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| Miscellaneous: | 6.5 | n/a |
| Final Score: | 32.5 | I wouldn't say this is feature quality yet, but it's definitely an above average article that will have a chance soon, especially if you improve your prose and formatting. It's much better than what I'd say my two best are, that's for sure! |
| Reviewer: | –—Hv (talk) 25/03 12:03 | |