Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Hyperdrinking (rw)

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Hyperdrinking

Constructive review please - I know it still needs work, but I'm looking for suggestions on what to work on. Many thanks! --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 08:19, 15 October 2007 (UTC)

Humour:	7.5	A bit dry at times, but pretty damn funny in a few places. The quote at the top was gold(I wonder how many other people have read HTBFANJS enough times to get it), the intro was solid, and there were good chunks of funny in the rest. I mostly enjoyed the terrible things players got points or bonus points for. For an idea, maybe change it up right at the end, so you stay unpredictable with your scoring section, since it got a little same-y. For example: "Points are awarded for actually making it to work the next day. Bonus points are available for being able to convince your boss that it was not you that they saw drinking themself to death at the bar last night. Points are deducted for being late to work, being messy, or being unpunctual. Ha ha, just kidding. For bonus points, go in 20 minutes late wearing sweatpants." Or some such thing. Just a thought.
Concept:	8	Good concept, no problems here.
Prose and formatting:	9	No major issues in prose, I like how the paragraphs are broken up, it makes the text easier to read.
Images:	7	Good, relevant images, sized well. However, maybe get one more for near the end of the bottom.
Miscellaneous:	7	This page glorifies alcoholism. Minors will be reading this(namely me) and you have now taught them that killing themselves with alcohol is "ok". For this, you get bonus points. However, I had to deduct points for using British spellings, and using the word "queue" without even a hint of sarcasm.
Final Score:	38.5	Nothing really wrong with the page. As is, I'm pretty sure I'd vote for on VFH. Still, I bet you could make it a funnier. Try to switch up the scoring section a bit, so it stays fresh and interesting, and doesn't get overly predictable. Surprise is a great tool for comedy. Otherwise, great piece, nice work!
Reviewer:	- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:14, Oct 15