Uncyclopedia:October 2022 Main Page deletion incident
 | This is an essay. It is not an ignorable policy on Uncyclopedia, so you should ignore it even more and disregard the mad ramblings of its writer. Or you could submit it as an Uncycloversity assignment in lieu of actually doing any work. |
| October 2022 Main Page deletion incident | |||||||
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 Cassie's screenshot of her deleting the Main Page. |
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The October 2022 Main Page deletion incident is a period of political turmoil on Uncyclopedia that began around 2:15 AM UTC on 22 October 2022. Its end is disputed, and the participants disagree on when it ended (see the "End of the incident" section below).
In short, the Main Page had been nominated on Votes for deletion three times, all of which resulted in a Delete consensus, and ARandomPage contacted Cassie to have it deleted in accordance with the VFDs. It was deleted, resulting in a four-minute period of time where the Main Page was unprotected and could be edited by anyone (creating a real version of Why?:IPs can't edit the main page). After Cassie restored order, she issued joke blocks to all parties involved. Said blocks did not last very long, and ARandomPage believed that they deserved a more strict punishment. JJPMaster developed the symbolic block for that purpose, and she promptly enacted such a block onto them. The block was lifted shortly thereafter so they could create an UnSignpost article, but it was reinstated at 2:28 AM UTC, 23 October 2022.
Annotations[edit source]
Background[edit source]
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:15 AM): oh btw cassie i might want some help when you're next available Cassie (22 October 2022, 2:15 AM): I am currently available ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:15 AM): later. Cassie (22 October 2022, 2:15 AM): I might be avialable [sic]. ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:15 AM): the public wishes that the Main Page be deleted four times, per four VFDs. ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:16 AM): Or was it three times per three VFDs? ... ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:19 AM): WE VOTED TO DELETE THE MAIN PAGE AND WE NEED SOMEONE TO DO IT Cassie (22 October 2022, 2:19 AM): I can do it. Or try. Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:19 AM): delete the main page? Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:19 AM): sure
ARandomPage had requested the deletion of the Main Page following three successful VFDs. Banzaikitten and Cassie expressed an interest in performing the deletion, described below.
Deletion[edit source]
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:24 AM): It's only gonna be temporary anyway. A joke delete... done thrice. Cassie (22 October 2022, 2:24 AM): This is bizarre (attaches image shown in infobox) Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:24 AM): return to the main page to watch the deletion live ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:24 AM): Delete the Main Page, hack it up, repeat twice ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:24 AM): HAHAHHAAAAA Microsoft for POTUS (22 October 2022, 2:24 AM): oops ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:24 AM): SHE ACTUALLY DDID [sic] IT Microsoft for POTUS (22 October 2022, 2:25 AM): hand slipped Microsoft for POTUS (22 October 2022, 2:25 AM): i re-created it without protection Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:25 AM): nice Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:25 AM): it says "a" though ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:24 AM): WHAT HAVE WE DONE
At this point, the Main Page was actually deleted, and replaced with other text, namely "a", "penis", and "i am sad". Cassie became genuinely stressed, desperately trying to protect the page, restore the original, and merge the revision histories.
Aftermath[edit source]
Immediate aftermath[edit source]
JJPMaster (22 October 2022, 2:29 AM): should we collectively bargain for forgiveness? Microsoft for POTUS (22 October 2022, 2:29 AM): yes ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:29 AM): yes ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:29 AM): o great sort-of-goddess of uncyclopedia ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:30 AM): please forgive us for our sins and our one, collective, dangerous prayer Cassie (22 October 2022, 2:30 AM): I have no choice but to declare thunder on you JJPMaster (22 October 2022, 2:30 AM): *tech support goddess but still a trans sapphic loser ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:30 AM): AGH MY EARS Microsoft for POTUS (22 October 2022, 2:30 AM): imagine all the people reading uncyc rn who arent on the discord and just went on the main page ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:30 AM): it's not much but Microsoft for POTUS (22 October 2022, 2:30 AM): and they see the letter a...then penis ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:31 AM): well... CHAOS. Microsoft for POTUS (22 October 2022, 2:31 AM): then jjpmaster being said [sic]...then a message saying it will be back soon...just imagine what they must be thinking ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:31 AM): we gotta huff it again.
JJPMaster and company deem it an appropriate time to pray to their goddess Cassie, and she smites Page as a punishment by declaring thunder on them and opening a black hole on their userpage. This is the point where you have to consider the future, about what the people of Uncyclopedia would think. They're likely not going to think very highly of it.
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:39 AM): ban me instead, i sparked the whole thing! Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): lol ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): I was the one who asked Cassie to delete the Main Page! Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): you are already blocked Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): for another few minutes ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): Change my block length! Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): youve [sic] had your punishment ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): To 100 years! ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): I started this mess! JJPMaster (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): and block me for almost symbolically deleting it ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): I deserve the consequences Microsoft for POTUS (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): my block expires in 6 minutes lmao Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): the problem is i know cassie can unban herself Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): you might not get unbanned for 100 years ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): But I can't. ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:40 AM): I'll... take this risk. Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:41 AM): i can't take it ... Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:44 AM): no you living and being forced to edit uncyclopedia is more punishment ... Cassie (22 October 2022, 2:44 AM): You've already received your punishment @ARandomPage Cassie (22 October 2022, 2:44 AM): Check out your user page Microsoft for POTUS (22 October 2022, 2:44 AM): i noticed that already Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:44 AM): fine Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:44 AM): 9000 years Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:44 AM): oh ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:45 AM): it's not enough. Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:45 AM): it wont [sic] let me do 9000 years ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:45 AM): i demand a block ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:45 AM): a very long one Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:45 AM): there Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:45 AM): done ... Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:45 AM): [Image of a log of Page being blocked for 900 years] ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:46 AM): 900 years... ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:46 AM): i'll take it. JJPMaster (22 October 2022, 2:46 AM): i also don't have delete perms ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:46 AM): for good measure ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:46 AM): you must revoke my talk and email rights Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:47 AM): i changed it to 900 seconds Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:47 AM): goodnight [sic] ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:47 AM): FOR GOD'S SAKE
Page, being dramatic, tries to get Banzaikitten to block them. Banzaikitten refuses, stating that it's too much of a risk as Page can't unban themself like Cassie can. Eventually, he caves in, and blocks ARandomPage for 900 years. Page asks that their email and talkpage rights be revoked too, but right after, Banzai changes his block length to 900 seconds. Page then gets frustrated, and starts typing in shouty caps.
JJPMaster (22 October 2022, 2:48 AM): can i symbolically block the individual to whom you are referring?
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:49 AM): Yes.
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:49 AM): Please.
...
Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:50 AM): I just unblocked myself
Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:50 AM): I'll block myself again tomorrow [sic] I'm going to bed
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:50 AM): Ban me again! For real! Please!
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:50 AM): I demand justice!
Microsoft for POTUS (22 October 2022, 2:51 AM): reading messages is no excuse in the eyes of the law
Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:51 AM): My computers [sic] off now
Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:51 AM): I can't edit Uncyclopedia from my phone
Banzaikitten (22 October 2022, 2:51 AM): I'm old
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:51 AM): You let a criminal get away...
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:52 AM): well i've been symbolically blocked
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:52 AM): good enough...
...
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:52 AM): thank you for serving justice and taking down a criminal.
...
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:57 AM): i just remembered
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:57 AM): you gotta symbolically block banzaikitten
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:57 AM): he let a criminal get away with a heinous, treasonous crime
[A discussion about spooks and morality occurs. Trust me, it makes sense in context.]
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:59 AM): technically its not a fixed idea, morality can change with new knowledge, but i wanna get to blocking banzai already
JJPMaster (22 October 2022, 2:59 AM): fair, will do immediately
ARandomPage (22 October 2022, 2:59 AM): thanks
JJPMaster (22 October 2022, 3:00 AM): {{Done}}
JJPMaster offers to use her own block type, "symbolic blocking", on ARandomPage, who accepts. Page then, in their overly dramatic fashion, tries to get Banzai to block them as well, but he went to sleep instead. Page then gets symbolically blocked, and thanks JJP for "serving justice and taking down a criminal". A few minutes later, during a separate talk about morality and "spooks" (which JJPMaster says are things that have no basis in reality), Page remembers that Banzai, too, needs to be symbolically blocked for not blocking Page. JJPMaster proceeds to do so.
Later aftermath[edit source]
ARandomPage (23 October 2022, 1.18 AM): What is happening now? JJPMaster (23 October 2022, 1:21 AM): how did you unblock yourself? ARandomPage (October 23, 1:24 AM): first i got Kippy to un-symbolic-block me ARandomPage (October 23, 1:24 AM): then i just murdered my common.js when you came up again ARandomPage (October 23, 1:24 AM): oh well JJPMaster (October 23, 1:25 AM): did you discover s*** m***? Microsoft for POTUS (October 23, 1:25 AM): safe mode JJPMaster (October 23, 1:25 AM): shhhhhhhhhhh ARandomPage (October 23, 1:25 AM): ????? ARandomPage (October 23, 1:25 AM): I don't get it JJPMaster (October 23, 1:28 AM): is there a problem? ARandomPage (October 23, 1:28 AM): Hey! Microsoft for POTUS (October 23, 1:28 AM): its that symblock is stupid ARandomPage (October 23, 1:28 AM): I was writing an UnSignpost! Gimme some time! ... ARandomPage (October 23, 2:25 AM): Special Delivery of UnSignpost: Complete. ARandomPage (October 23, 2:25 AM): Responses: Zero. ARandomPage (October 23, 2:25 AM): Celeste emojis used: One. ARandomPage (October 23, 2:25 AM): Black holes formed: Zero. ARandomPage (October 23, 2:25 AM): Non-consenting UnSignpost recipients: Yes. JJPMaster (October 23, 2:27 AM): can i symbolically block you again? ARandomPage (October 23, 2:27 AM): Symbolic block of ARandomPage: Encouraged. JJPMaster (October 23, 2:27 AM): when do you want it to end? ARandomPage (October 23, 2:27 AM): Hmmmmmmmmm ARandomPage (October 23, 2:27 AM): I dunno ARandomPage (October 23, 2:27 AM): Indefinite? JJPMaster (October 23, 2:28 AM): alright
Several hours after the incident, Page had gotten his symbolic block removed via help from Kippy, and shortly after began writing a special edition of the UnSignpost. Some time after that, JJP reinstated the symbolic block, only for it to stop working the day after the incident. Page then proceeded to continue and finish writing his special UnSignpost, and then delivered it to a large portion of Uncyclopedia, most of whom did not consent to having UnSignposts thrown at their talkpage. JJPMaster then asked to symbolically block Page again, to which Page agreed to an indefinite block that lasted up until they came to write this page.
End of the incident[edit source]
The end of this incident is not universally agreed upon, and the participants all have different views on when it ended.
- ARandomPage and Microsoft for POTUS believes that the incident ended on October 23, 2:25 A.M, when he finished delivering the Special Edition UnSignpost and notable events surrounding the incident stopped.
- Cassie thinks that it ended after all the immediate fallout ended, which, according to a very unbiased, uncontroversial, accurate source, means around the time Page and Banzai got their first symbolic block.
- JJPMaster thought that it hadn't ended for a significant amount of time, until she made the decision to agree with ARandomPage in 21 June 2023.
- PF4Eva thinks that it ended when the Main Page was restored and everyone was joke-blocked. This is the earliest estimate for this incident's end.