Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/August 30

NEW DELHI, INDIA -- English rock legends Pink Floyd, while visiting India, were killed by the Great COVID-19 Corona Virus Disease Pandemic of 2020. This happened just a few hours ago, while the band were attempting to entertain the infected citizens of India.

Wait, we have new reports coming in. In fact, Pink Floyd were not killed at all by coronavirus; those were fake news. The real news is that an Indian lady monkey clitoris was circumcised by religious fanatics, just for being pink. No way this is for real ... let me check that again.

Oh, I see. Sorry about that. What REALLY happened is that the movie Joker totally came true. Some racist cop murdered a black rapper for no reason, and the protesters killed Batman's parents in return. That's right. No, I ain't kidding. This black dude was called George Floyd. No English band was killed and no monkey clitoris was cut off. A black man was murdered by the police. Not the band The Police. The actual American police. Yeah, I know. What the fuck. Oh, and also Trump is at war with Twitter now. He keeps tweeting racist stuff, and Twitter keeps putting its knee on Trump's neck, by labeling all his tweets as racist. It's pretty cool, I guess. (Full article...)