UnNews:Superman holds the first shape-shifting competition of super-heroes

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6 September 2007

Today, in an extreme act of superdickery, Superman has challenged the world's super-heroes to a competition of who is the best shape-shifter in the world. Many of the world's heroes took to the skies(expect The Flash because he is like the one hero who doesn't have anything to allow him to fly) in order to make Superman shut the fuck up. Quickly, many heroes realized the fact that they can't shape-shift. The Green Lantern Corps. argued that their rings power counted as "shape-shifting". Wonder Woman quickly said in response that it doesn't count(mainly because she is a bitch trying to make herself feel better because she can't shape-shift...).

Not even Plastic Man's most awesome use of shape-shifting powers was able to impress Superman.

Beast Boy and Jayna of The Wonder Twins shape-shifted into hundreds of different species of animals, fishes, and birds, including some that are extinct such as dinosaurs and the dodo bird. Superman picked each of them up after they had had turned into a weak animal and hurled them into the Sun. He also evaporated Zan of The Wonder Twins after he shape-shifted into a lake.

While no one was able to impress Superman, Elastic Lad was able to accomplish the worst shape-shifting ever. Also, those zoologists proved themselves to be the worst ones ever.

Mumm-Ra, the main villain of the Thundercats, assumed the form of Doomsday and was ultimately lobotomized by Superman's heat vision.

Zeus morphed into a golden shower to try to sway Superman into falling madly in love with him. He, just like Lois Lane and Lex Luthor, failed miserably.

Chameleon Boy, The Martian Manhunter, Metamorpho, Amazing Man, and several other shape-shifters also failed to impress Superman.

At the end of the day, Batman brought up the point that he had yet to shape-shift. Superman responded by letting out a huge sneeze that destroyed The Milky Way.

Morph, Mystique, Copycat, and Mr. Fantastic of the Marvel Comics universe, Ben 10, and The Transformers were not able too compete in this competition due to none of them living in the DC Comics universe and for a multitude of other reasons, though anyone of them could out shape-shift anyone in the DC Comics universe.

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