UnNews:Sean Hannity debates Obama stand-in

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

10 August 2008

Obama stand-in Truman Burgess on his way to debate Sean Hannity

NEW YORK, New York -- Sean Hannity, the host of Hannity's America, will debate a Barack Obama surrogate, Truman Burgess. Burgess, an audience "plant," "impressed" Obama at a recent political rally by mocking imitating the Democrats' presumptuous nominee, saying "You be takin' us from a culture o' nonsense to a culture o' absurdity, brutha Obama." Although Obama has no stock in the Fox News Channel, he asserted that he was going to "put Mr. Burgess on Fox News," to "tear up Sean Hannity." Hannity accepted the challenge, inviting the Obama stand-in to debate him.

"He's says he's going to tear me up," Hannity told viewers of the Hannity and Colmes news-and-variety show. "I have news for Mr. Burgess: I'll rip him a new one!"

When Hannity's co-host, Alan Colmes, resisted having Burgess on the show, complaining "I don't get enough air time as it is," Rupert Murdock, who owns all the world's media except MSNBC, which, he says, he wouldn't want even if Bill Gates were giving it away, decided to put Burgess on opposite Hannity on Hannity's own show, Hannity's America. (We keep repeating the name of the show, Hannity's America, because Murdock is paying for these plugs.)

The debate, which is scheduled to air on Sunday night, on Hannity's America, will consider such questions as:

  • Why is Obama afraid to debate Hannity face to face, instead of sending a surrogate to "tear Hannity up"?
  • Why does Alan Colmes get any air time at all?
  • Will the cute and cuddly Kirsten Powers replace Colmes?
  • Is Obama a secret love child of Michael Jackson or has Jackson ever babysat any of Obama's children?
  • What is the difference between a "picaninny," a "high yellow," a "mulatto," and a "Barack Obama"?
  • How many more times does Obama plan to play the "race card"?
  • Who's prettier, Cindy or John McCain?
  • Is there any truth to the rumor that Michelle Obama has been recruited to play for the Green Bay Packers?

If Hannity does well against Burgess, Obama may send the recently disgraced adulterer, Sen. John Edwards, as his next proxy, to debate Geraldo Rivera or possibly Greta van Susteren.

Source[edit | edit source]

Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=UnNews:Sean_Hannity_debates_Obama_stand-in&oldid=4282222"