UnNews:Nacho Libre sweeps WWE's movie awards
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
3 March 2007
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PONTIAC, Michigan -- Movie industry insiders left the Pontiac Silverdome in shock tonight as Nacho Libre took all 25 World Wrestling Entertainment's movie awards, including Best Picture, Best Actor and the coveted, Best Suplex.
Eddie Murphy, repeated his recent Oscar performance, and got up to leave after learning that he wasn't the award winner in his catergory, Best Supporting Black Actor in a No-Holds-Barred Musical. Murphy shouted out, "That motherfucker ain't even black, you racist..." at which point presenter King Kong Bundy, flew off the stage, hitting The Nutty Professor star with a flying elbow drop square in the jaw. He then quieted the former comedian with a sleeper hold, reminding all of Eddie's career in the 90s.
That was not the lone excitement of the evening. While Jennifer Hudson was singing "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going", her catty jealous co-star, Beyoncé snuck up behind her with a steel chair and knocked the BBW to the stage. Beyoncé then picked up her mike and shouted at Hudson's sexy big ass, "This is my song now biatch!" But before the obnoxious former Destiny's Child star could start warbling, Hudson did a leg sweep sending Knowles face first into the floor busting the bitch's nose open. J-Hud then picked herself up and foot stomped the retired Destinette before picking her up by the head and then slamming her down in a pile driver. Security then came out to break up the brawl while the audience gave a standing ovation.
Vince McMahon had this response to the evening's events, "Yeah, I'm pissed off. Their moves were so scripted and textbook, no originality at all. Hell Murphy treated this like an encore performance... improvise you sad sack of shit. What the fuck happened to the man's talent... you'd think I hired Billy Joel!"
A caller who called himself Quentin, contacted UnNews and had this to say, "See, I told you guys, alright. Do you fucker's believe me now? ok!"
