UnNews:Military uses for evil cloning technology?

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

5 January 2010

New mixed-species war kitten.

THE INTERNET -- Inspired by the hard-hitting reportage of Conservapedia News, UnNews has followed up on their story last month on secret cross-species cloning experiments, funded by liberal think tank The Alchemy Group. Sources at Strategic Sciences Labs in New Mexico have said that, in addition to the crossing of human and canine genes to produce hybrids, they have been using cloning and other means to create more genetically altered monstrosities.

Sources at the State Department hinted that many of these experiments are aimed at developing horrible armies of mutants for military use. A cat-human hybrid called a War Kitten has been created for special operations requiring feline cunning and fierceness and human intelligence.

Through the wonders of science, this sheep is gay for dogs. It doesn't seem to do much for the dogs.

Conservapedias Josiah Schmenkenkrantz said, "You know, these things sound a lot like the creatures in the Book of Revelation. My personal view is that the Obama administration, with the power of Satan behind it, will breed these creatures and loose them upon the Earth, ushering in the Apocalypse . I wouldn't be surprised at all to wake up tomorrow, and get raptured right after breakfast."

A Pentagon insider has told the UnNews Religion desk that he has witnessed researchers chemically inducing sheep to mate with dogs, and heard rumors of an enraged giraffe mounting a wildebeest.

Sources

• Robert K. Grenadine "Liberal agendas will bring the Apocalypse upon us" Cold Springs Jiggler, January 5, 2010